Some are meant to be a Key, but not our Company

I feel like sobbing every time I remember that my cousins are gonna fly back to Australia very soon. You know that feeling, right, when you can’t help but think about the impending goodbyes even when you’re supposed to simply enjoy the present moment.

During one of these reveries, as I was dissecting my feelings, a truth bubble popped out. I have realized that one of the biggest reasons I’ve been feeling this way was because I haven’t been in any real female friendship for the past couple of years. My cousin, Shai, now 18, suddenly brought back all the things I loved about women which get amplified in female friendships.

I’ve been undergoing major changes during my mid-twenties until recently, therefore letting go of some relationships have become imperative. I’ve felt burnt out for quite some time, highly dissatisfied with my old friendships and I started feeling the need to be alone more – so I could get to know myself more.

I believe Shai just opened my heart to female friendships again. Hers must be the right kind of presence that rips apart my disillusionment in these relationships. Her kindness, confidence, creativity, wisdom, humor, sensitivity and girliness reminded me of aspects within myself and my previous female friendships I have put on the backseat.

Without her knowing she’s doing it, she actually taught me how to be girly again and how to be a girl friend again. I deeply enjoy our talks about things we have in common – and it’s a bunch! – like the arts, travel, books OMG, fashion and makeup, pop culture, friendships, the intuitive arts and so much more. We shopped together, went to visit my favorite bookstore together, held my hand when I was scared riding the giant swing in the amusement park, took selfies together, talked about embarrassing and funny experiences. We talked about female friendships, listening to one’s intuition, honoring one’s values, setting boundaries and being in charge of one’s own well-being.

It’s not only her natural positive energy, but probably her age as well, that lights up my vibe. I am 12 years older than her, and I’ve been through very different circumstances, too. I’ve been jaded for a few times in the past decade, and I felt like crawling with all my strength and dignity on my way to my 30’s. I’ve had to reinvent myself many times. I’ve lost so much. Building female friendships at my age is so different from when I was still in my teens and even in my twenties. I have a more solid self-concept now and I know better about the life I want for myself now. In a way this makes me more rigid when it comes to making connections with potential friends.

I think her light presence brought back freshness to my attitude. I’ve come to associate female friendships with only the baggage they brought into my life so I went out and dumped all the goodies, too. She reminded me how female friendships soothed my soul. How despite my great need for solitude I actually thrived more with supportive female energy in my life.

Since she came to visit, I noticed that new potential girl friends started showing up in my experience, I’ve begun making an effort to forge female connections, too, with those I jibed with, I started gravitating towards female influencers who previously turned me off, and I’ve been rethinking about my attitude towards women I find “annoying”, maybe I should be more compassionate instead?

She also made me realize that it’s actually a no-brainer to build female relationships. I just have to make sure I’m in a good place first, energetically, so only those I naturally jibe with will find their way to me. Also, I must put my well-being first and foremost, always. 🙂

Maybe it’s not the length of time we spend together that matters, nor the amount of moments we share, maybe it’s the depth of our bond that matters, only on that level where touching each other’s soul and leaving a lasting impact are both possible.

Maybe if our time spent together gets longer than what’s possible now, maybe it won’t have the impact it’s meant to have. Maybe…maybe this thought will soothe my impending nostalgia.

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A Love Note to the Wounded

When you’re hurting, don’t cave inside yourself. Keep your heart open. Let love and light fill you in.

You’ll heal only in your vulnerability.

Let the Universe plant a seed where there’s a hole or a sore spot. Let that seed grow with you in light and love. Let it guide you towards the direction of your expansion and your highest joy. Let the plant, the tree keep you grounded.

Let it transform you. Let it reveal your inherent strength and beauty.

Integrate the pain and transmute it. Rise up.

Superhuman

We must choose goodness, love, joy, peace, harmony – all that lift us higher in spite of the heaviness around us. We must do this even if the people around us feel different and we may seem the crazy one. We may not always be able to be the person who does this, but there should always be some of us who accept the position of choosing to hold the light for all of us. This is how we lift each other. This is how we move forward together.

Even when it’s the most difficult to do so, we must hold into that light of hope inside us – the part of us which has never been hurt, never felt lack, has never been afraid, never been abandoned, never been lost, never been powerless.

It is from there that we can have the capacity to rise above any circumstance – to be the superhuman that we really are – and to transcend the limits of our human life as we know them.

 

I’m the one that remains

My loyalty, above all, is to myself.


I am the champion of my own principles,

I am my redeemer,

I am my own strength.


I am my shield and my sword.

I am the rock, 

upon which I have built myself.


I am my own garden, pregnant with realities -

Abundant.

Death and life combined.


I am my horizon and the earth that shakes 

underneath my feet.


I am the sky and the rain

and all the oceans combined.


I am all the stars 

I could never count.

I am the light that

won't ever wane.


I'll be here when everything

burns to the ground.

When everyone has turned their back

against me,

I'm the one that stays.


I'm the one that remains.



daena de guzman | 2017

The Resurrection, the longing for

I state my claim 
I scratch the surface,

I go deep
I scrape the bottom,

I'm insatiable.

I crave for fragments
I feed on chunks,

I turn it inside-out.

Nothing's left
but I want more,

I 
lick
the 
ashes

of what once

was the core.



daena de guzman | 2017

Our Door to the Divine

My Creative Process

Creative inspiration and divine guidance come from the same Source. They are made of the same energy.

As a visual artist and writer, my encounters with creative inspiration go something like this –

An idea, almost always already a full-blown one, knocks on my “energetic door”. It wants to be born into the physical world and this can only be made possible through a channel capable of shaping it into material form. When I say “yes” to it and let it in, the actual work starts pretty quickly afterwards. It translates to a drawing, a painting, a poem, or an essay, since these are the things I am attuned to producing.  This is the same process I’ve been going through for years, which by now, has enabled me to collate a body of work that bears my unique imprint.

I said that it almost always arrives at my door as a full-blown idea because more often than not I feel as though the concept has already been finished even before I do the actual work, for instance, before I even dip the brush into the paint. I know it may sound weird to some people, but I don’t see any other way to put it. Almost always I feel as though I simply give birth to it to material form. Its essence has already been completed somewhere unseen.

 

We are all Channels

There are many channels in the physical world – it can be a human, a group of humans, animals, the weather, nature itself, and even the little seemingly mundane coincidences that happen everywhere, all the time, among others.

The chosen channel only depends on what kind of idea or energy is knocking on the door of the material world.

As humans with free will, when an idea knocks on our door, we can either say “yes”, let it in and do the work, or say “no” and go back to sleep, or to whatever it is we choose to do instead. Due to our signature energy that we emit all the time, we keep on attracting creative inspirations day in, day out.

 

Our Door to the Divine

What many of us don’t realize is that saying “yes” to creative inspiration is actually our door to the Divine. When we let it in our world, when we agree to be a channel by which it gets manifested into the physical, we actually welcome the Divine into our life. We agree to become an instrument for its creative and transcendental power. This is how all things have been made possible – everything that we see, utilize and enjoy around us.

People of different cultures have named it in various ways – some call it God, some call it Source, some call it the Universe, some call it Love, and the list goes on. However we prefer to perceive it, it’s the same Force, and the name we give it is secondary. What matters is how we use it to shape our lives and the lives of others. What matters is who we become because of our belief in it.

When we say “yes” to it and do the work that entails us, we are in for the ride of our life.

It’s where we learn about our creative power and our true divine nature. It’s where we remember the workings of Life. It’s where we remember how to keep our connection with the Divine open regardless of external circumstances. It’s where we contribute to the evolution of All That Is.

 

Our Work is our Anchor

The kind of creative work that we do is our anchor to our divine nature. It’s what keeps us grounded to the Source’s universal purpose of joy, oneness and expansion. This is one of the ways by which we let “love” in our lives, and as a result, we become its dutiful servants.

As we get better in forging this connection, we become more capable of letting it flow through us in all kinds of situation.

We become more receptive to how love wants to manifest and the ways by which we are being called to be its instrument. We could feel it “knocking” on our energetic door/ our heart, asking us to help manifest it into actual form. This could translate into a variety of ways; either be by turning an idea into an actual object, it could be by responding to a stressful situation in a gentle way, it could be by being strong for others, it could be by taking care of ourselves, it could be by sharing what we know, it could be by making a difficult decision or by going towards a certain path, among others.

 

A Friendly Note

This energy is always knocking on our door – sometimes we receive it through our mind, sometimes through our heart or even through our gut. Most of the time, it reaches us as a subtle energy, more like a hint of curiosity. But really, it can come in whichever way that we are most attuned to at any given moment. In these initial phases, especially if we are still getting familiar with the process, we must at least not be so quick in dismissing it as some irrelevant, random thought or feeling. We can take our time – all the time that we need – to immerse ourselves completely into it. It’s more of a journey than an event.

This process, which has shaped my life, has taken me to great depths and heights that have always surprised me. It has ushered my life into the direction I’m in and has transformed me into the person I’ve become, and continuously becoming. Having reached this place in my creativity and faith, I don’t see a better way to live or be.

I wish the same thing for you.

 

xoxo,

Potters, We All Are

The process of clay pot making has always fascinated me. It seems so effortless, like when a ballerina gracefully glides on the stage. When I’m watching someone in the midst of it, I feel as though even I can do it, even without any sort of training at all.

I’ve only tried it once, about five years ago – and I sucked at it. The potter said that my hands were too hard, too intense that the pot always end up collapsing. She said that the key was to simply have the right amount of pressure, just enough to guide it into formation.

Isn’t clay pot making the same as shaping our own life?

The key is to apply just the right amount of pressure – not too light and not too hard – ’cause either way the pot will end up collapsing. Not taking the lead in our own life or forcing it to become something in particular may only sabotage its own becoming.

It also only makes sense to keep the spinning wheel moving, otherwise the pot will collapse, too, or it may not take its shape at all. Life will continue to usher us into further transformations naturally, unless we give up and choose to stop instead.

Likewise, from time to time, just the right amount of clay should be added to take its desired form and size – too little or too much may alter the output completely. Getting ourselves involved in too little or too much activity can either stall our growth or overwhelm us.

Finally, intention, and not force, is the gravity which pulls the clay pot together as a finished product. Our positive focus, our vision – not constant fear and worry – make our desired outcomes come to fruition.

By guiding the clay pot into its becoming we are letting its shape emerge, magically, from all the elements combined. By letting our life unfold on its own, we give ourselves the permission to go on a magical journey – both physical and spiritual – which takes us to a place we may not have been able to dream about to begin with. And this place – this magical place – is just a mediocre reflection of the great person we have become – the person we are actually inside.

The shape of the clay pot has already been there even before the clay pot emerged in the physical. Our most authentic self has already been there, too, in fact has always been there, through our Spirit, before we even incarnated in the physical and also after we fade out into the ethereal.

May we all keep our pottery game strong and fun!

 

xoxo

Unicorn thoughts

Maybe I'm just tracing the lines 
of my comfort zone.

Going in circles.

I couldn't seem to find my way out. 
So all I do is go in circles.

Trapped in my own carousel.

It's already a miracle, though 
to have finally realized

that I am moving but not going anywhere, 
that I am in the same place.

'Cause how could I ever do it 
without having been able to step out of myself 
and observe my life play out?

What a weird thing - this duplicity.

And the world that allows it to be.

Sometimes being awake
only feels like 

self-flagellation.

Until we learn how to use our own power. 
The power of our own mind.


daena de guzman | 2017

The Community Fund

When we are immersed in the kind of work that is in alignment with our Spirit, the work we know we are meant to do in this lifetime, all the abundance that we get, including financial ones, begin to take on a different spin.

Instead of seeing it simply as something we (the I) have worked for and have rightfully earned, we develop this understanding and appreciation of it as a “Community Fund” where all those who benefit from our work pitch in so we can continue the work we are doing. This enables us to reach more people who need to receive what we are willing to give.

This shift in perception makes us feel more accountable of what we put out there and who we become as a person.

All these people who contribute in the “Community Fund” believe in our capacity and the value of our work so much so that they’re willing to extend their own share of resources. Our work begins to serve beyond just ourselves and our tight-knit circle.

Furthermore, we become more perceptive of the support that is always available to us. We learn to let go of control and worry. We find ourselves hanging out more often in the space of Gratitude. Abundance takes a deeper, higher and more expanded meaning. This expands us, too, in the process. This makes us more inspired to continue with our journey –  by creating more, by giving more.

How is your relationship with Solitude?

As an introvert, I know Solitude like my own Spirit – the two are inseparable. I long for it, I devour it. I breathe it. I need it to refill me; to nourish me.

Creative life is fueled for the most part by Solitude. Making pivotal shifts and great leaps are only possible because of Solitude. Healing can only take place in the solitary dimensions of emotions and spirit.

Especially when I’m hurting, lonely or angry – I crawl into my solitary cave like a wild animal. There, I do the internal work as long as I need to. I come out transformed.

In Solitude I connect with the Divine; it’s where I download visions, inspiration and guidance. There, I bathe my inner child with play. There, I conquer my own demons. There, I anchor myself in my own Spirit. There,  I build my core.

Like many of my fellow introverts, I have been insulted and diminished by extroverts and ambiverts all my life due to my huge demand for Solitude and my disregard for their stamp of approval.

I march to the beat of my own drum even if sometimes it means I have to march alone.

Despite this inexplicable torture I go through until today, my belief remains that separation from groupthink is necessary for innovation and revolution to take place. It doesn’t matter what one’s natural temperament is – solitude is the bedrock by which any transformation – and any work of substance – can happen.