My loyalty, above all, is to myself. I am the champion of my own principles, I am my redeemer, I am my own strength. I am my shield and my sword. I am the rock, upon which I have built myself. I am my own garden, pregnant with realities - Abundant. Death and life combined. I am my horizon and the earth that shakes underneath my feet. I am the sky and the rain and all the oceans combined. I am all the stars I could never count. I am the light that won't ever wane. I'll be here when everything burns to the ground. When everyone has turned their back against me, I'm the one that stays. I'm the one that remains. daena de guzman | 2017
A mango tree never berates itself for not bearing fruits yet, even though many have long been waiting. It knows that a time stamp has been implanted in its Spirit back when it was still a seed. It anticipates its own blossoming, but doesn’t obsess about it. It knows how to appreciate all the stages and cycles of life.
It doesn’t ruminate and struggle with low self-esteem or ennui during the years that it has to go through without bearing a single fruit. It knows its already worthy and loved as it is.
Related post: In Praise of Divine Timing
Lie still. Stare at the ceiling. Breathe. Notice the sounds pulsing through the walls. Feel the textures enmeshed in a cobweb of scenes, events mini-multiverses of their own. You. are. untouchable. Remember this. This is a slice of eternity. Absorb it like water. Let it take the shape of your own mind. Bring eternity everywhere you go. Bring eternity in everything you do. You are Eternity. - daena de guzman | 2017
The Angels offered me this gem, hope it helps:
Our advice is short and simple, really, there’s nothing dramatic about it – Keep the energy flow open.
Make sure that the energy, the light you receive from the Divine flows through you. Make sure to radiate this light beyond yourself towards all those who need it. Others will reflect the same light to you just as you need it.
Stuck energy in any recess of your being will keep you from your own Alignment, which is usually a symptom of a wound that’s been left open for too long. This will block you from receiving more light and from radiating light as well.
Let go of anything heavy that is more trouble than it’s worth. This will keep you grounded in your natural state, which is Alignment.
You will trail away from your center from time to time, and the way to go back is to reach for that thought, that emotion that makes you feel light again – joyful again. You may do this in infinite ways such as immersing yourself in a creative and playful activity, surrounding yourself with things that inspire you, participating in nourishing relationships, listening to uplifting music, bathing yourself in nature, choosing to hold positive thoughts and emotions and being gentle towards yourself, among others.
As you do these, dance as you move along your path. Follow the rhythm of your Spirit. Have fun! Focus on the things that you can enjoy in your journey. As always, we’re with you, lifting you up.
I recently went through a period of intense disconnect with myself. My self-esteem was at a point so low I even dared to lick every trickle of validation I could get from the people around me. I
felt was confused and lost. I didn’t know who I was and what my spirit really wanted to be doing. I sought validation at every turn, and when I didn’t get one, I felt deeply offended – shattered to the bones. I thought the world owed me all the glory I so deserved.
I became too sensitive even to slight criticisms, which were also true to a certain extent, that I isolated myself more and more from the same people I depended on for validation. It became too unbearable for me and I had to shield myself off. Of course, my relationships slightly fell apart as a result.
Now when I start to go on that downward spiral of ruminating all the hate comments I’m sure I’ll get or when I am about to jump start my self-loathing spree – I say this to myself:
Accept the insult. Think about the worst, most horrible comments you could possibly get from the person/people you hate the most and have the calmness to respond with a – I’ve noted that. I hear you. I accept all that you have said.
Accept the insult. Listen to it. Reaffirm it. This will confuse the one who insulted you and practically everyone around you who witnessed what just happened. But the most confused one will be your own ego. It doesn’t know how to respond to that affirmation and acceptance when it’s been programmed to resort to defensiveness with the intention of protecting you.
When I start to shift my attitude into this, surprisingly, instead of sinking more into self hate, I actually feel more self-loving. The ego is conditional – and this makes us conditional with ourselves and with others as well. It’s programmed to see the world in black and white. The ego thinks that positive feedback is life-giving, while negative feedback is destructive. The ego is avoidant towards negative judgment because it thinks this will shatter our identity and self-worth.
By accepting an insult or any negative feedback about us, we are showing the ego that our Spirit can withstand it, that our Spirit is stronger than even the most horrible remark.
Contrary to what many people might think, this attitude neither makes us delusional nor stubborn to grow. What blocks us from our own growth is, in fact, having our ego run the show by always being defensive. It’s against our own best interests when we dodge feedback only because they hurt us. This behavior is not only making us internally weak, but it also rips us off all the wisdom we might get from those kinds of feedback.
This is not to say that we should be a doormat and just nod our heads when people make a fool out of us. That’s a totally different situation. Accepting negative remarks with dignity and maturity is what I stand for. It’s having the wisdom to know when to step back and detach the remarks from our own core. It’s not hating the people who gave the comments and wanting to hurt them back. It’s embracing our humanity in all its contradictions and imperfections.
It’s about loving ourselves unconditionally – that neither compliments nor insults can change how we feel towards ourselves.