Agents of Tenderness

stressLife can get tough, but the Universe doesn’t leave us alone in our journey. The Universe understands that while we need to go through our own path to learn what we set out to learn and accomplish, we also need not forget who we really are.

In my life, I’ve always had those beings who remind of me of my natural tenderness – humans, animals, nature,. Tthey hold my hand, smile at me, persistently ask me to play and have fun, to sit and relax, to listen to my heart. Many times, I’ve learned to build up a shell around my heart as a way of protecting myself, and many times when the need for it subsides, these beings always do their work of breaking it up either piece-by-piece or  in one blow.

It took a while for me to connect the dots and see the meaning in these relationships, and the presence of these beings in my life. Many times I’ve thought how undeserving I was of their love. But maybe, my human mind just can’t fathom the unconditionality of pure love. And maybe we are also part of this pure love even though it’s difficult to feel that way in our human form with all our complexities and struggles.

Nevertheless I am thankful beyond words can express. The Universe has always been unfailing in sending me all the help and love that I need.


My journey to the Elf World

I’ve been seeing 1, 11, 111, 1111 lately and recently I saw a video by Gigi Young talking about how elves told her that their energy was in the same frequency as 11. She also said that they were very cerebral beings. They were mostly focused on their minds. They were about ideas and the creation from those ideas.

That inspired me to do a meditation with the intention of connecting with them. I used a guided meditation again for this.

I found myself in a valley. On top of the valley was a greek-like structure. I knew the elves were inside. Before I went in, I spotted an elf going into his home. He had a pond with fountains in his yard. He also had a rose garden.

Then I went back to the greek-like structure. I sat in front of the main door, in the steps. An elf sat beside me. He was old, his hands were thick because he said he was a carpenter. He was interested in sculptures and wood work the most. He was even wearing slippers made from wood. He was gentle. His face was calm as well as his voice. I asked him questions like a curious kid. His name was Tom.

The house I went to happened to be his. He asked me to come to him to his house. I didn’t get the chance to go there myself. His house was high and it was made of wood. It was actually a tree house.  He showed me his library. He even showed me his journal. His favorite place was at the highest part of his house. He had a hammock there and a window in front. We sat there for quite a while staring at the moon and the stars. He said he felt peaceful there at the top. Peaceful and protected.

We went back to the greek-like structure. We went inside. I found a bonfire in the middle and some shadows sitting around it. Tom said that the structure was a meeting place for elves.  We sat side by side with them. I asked a question for everyone. I told them that I thought that maybe it was them who created Selena, my peacock bird behind me who lived inside a waterfall. Two elves appeared. One was dressed like a magus, the other looked like a scientist from the past. They were drinking something like tea.

The scientist/professor said that yes, they created her. They created her to help me balance my mind.

They said that the downside of being high minded was that you can get stuck in your mind or it can weigh you down. Selena was there to help me lighten my mind, to help me achieve that balance because they knew that I resided mostly in my head.

I told them about the 11 that I would see and I asked them if it’s  true that they vibrate at a similar frequency. They said yes. They said that they always left clues for beings to follow so they can come in their world. But only the ones who are at present can see the clues. But everybody’s welcome.

They said that their soul purpose is to create worlds but they need to collaborate with beings from all dimensions to create worlds in all dimensions.

They also explained that some things cannot manifest in a dimension because the laws there were different. But it didn’t mean it’s impossible. That’s why they need to work with the beings from different dimensions. It’s a collaboration.

I asked them how we could collaborate. They said that every being had a purpose of creating their own world. They were there to help everyone. They said I had to figure out what my ideal world looked like and they would help me build it.

Details like how would the people look like, how would they interact with each other, what would they prioritize, how would they have fun, where would they live, how would I look like and behave in that world, and so on and so forth had to be filled in by me.

They said that by imagining this world I was already creating it in another dimension. This created world could manifest into 3D in ways that 3D laws would allow. So it’s not useless to build a world in another dimension. It was actually basic. They said that everything we could see in our 3D world now first existed in a different dimension because they first existed as ideas in someone else’s mind.

So in order for us to create something in 3D it had to be first created in other dimensions. They would help me by reminding me which details would I need to fill in and by asking me questions that would enable me to reflect on my motives and reasons or what issues I need to work on myself.

They gave me a cup and inside they said was a light tea from outerspace and also from under the deepest parts of the sea. Yes, they said that the ocean had its own kind of light. I drank the light tea. I said goodbye to them and thanked them for their help and for being a power team. They said I could come back anytime especially now that I knew the way.

It’s time for me to go to work. I have to figure what kind of world do I really want to create and live in. Wow.

Meeting my first Animal Guide

As I was meditating with my partner last night (it wasn’t a couple’s meditation but we were listening to the same meditation guide at the same time), an animal come to me. It wasn’t really a meditation on meeting your spiritual guide/totem, it was more like an intention to connect to your divinity meditation. At first I couldn’t figure out the figure who was slowly coming out of the fire/curtains. Initially I thought it was an old man, like a shaman, a hermit. But then the figure slowly evolved and the image was complete.

A black panther appeared to me. He came as close as he can to my face and looked me straight in the eye. I knew it’s a “he” because I sensed the masculine energy. I asked him why did he appear to me. He communicated with me mentally and said that,

“You have made me come out. Now I am here. I’ll see you again.”

I had to say goodbye to him because the meditation already was coming to an end.

I never really felt the inspiration to research about animal guides, I never meditated on it. But I guess, I am in the right place and the right time for this connection. He came out to show himself to me no matter how elusive he was because he has the reason now to do that. Maybe what made him come out was my decision a couple of days ago to make my spiritual work a commitment, a life work. I have decided to make it a full time work and not just a hobby anymore. I told myself,

“This is it. I am gonna do it 365 days a year, 24/7, no matter what’s going on in my life. I am gonna add discipline to it. Just like work, I am gonna immerse myself on it despite being not in the mood to do it. I am gonna make time for it. I am gonna fight for all the solitude that I need to do it.”

This morning, I decided to meditate and meet him again to find out what he has to tell me. I found a meditation guide which helped me connect with him easily. This is how our encountered went:

I was in a rain forest. There was a short bridge in front of me and there was a thin river underneath it. The forest was misty and the trees were as tall as skyscrapers. I was sitting before the bridge and I sensed a black panther walking back and forth on the other side, impatient and nervous.

I slowly crossed the bridge. I was clothed in mist. As I arrived on the other side, I saw him sitting in front of me. I was sitting on the ground, too. We didn’t communicate for a while then he took me out for a walk.

I was walking side by side with him in the forest when he started speaking. He said:

Master your own mind. Go to the darkest, most unknown places and see what’s in there. When you do that, nothing can feel scary for you anymore. Memorize your mind like a maze. Your environment is a direct reflection of your own mind. So if you can master your own mind, you can master your environment. Do you know you can bend your world? Yes, you can. Everything around you is a projection of your mind. So if you know your own mind, you will understand more all the things in your environment. If you are familiar with your own shadows, you can recognize it more easily on others and you’ll know how to deal with them. What’s inside your own mind will be reflected on the objects, situations and people around you. So it’s gonna be better for you if you know your own mind. You can control your life in a way that will serve you. On the other hand, pay attention to your environment as well. They give clues as to what’s in your subconscious. This is not about competition. This is not about being better than others. This is about participation. Participate in the process of creation, of creating worlds. Solitude may be a strange thing. But you have to know it’s value if you want to pursue this path of mastering your own mind. Let solitude fill you.

Then we had to part ways. The meditation ended.

I feel so comforted and supported, grateful for this huge help that has come my way. A new gate has opened because I have become prepared to go through it. The Black Panther is the perfect animal guide for me at this time because I had to be brave, strong and wise in this journey that for the most part, I’ll be doing on my own.

Accepting Acceptance in Your Life

The title is as uncomfortable as my own feeling towards acceptance…easy acceptance in particular.

I used to be a worry-wart. I stressed about the littlest of things. I held on to the past like my entire sense of self depended on it (and that’s how our ego wants us to believe, actually). I had a huge difficulty forgiving myself and those who have hurt me or have been unfair with me. As you could imagine, it was hell.

I would go on asking for reasons about why things were the way they were and why people did what they did or didn’t do. It felt like I was pulling up every single thing from its tail and hanging it on right in front of my face as I interrogated it at under the harshest light at 3 am.

That habit made me so paranoid and I felt imprisoned inside the scary world I have created myself.

Suddenly, I had a shift. Like with all kinds of revolutions, things happen gradually it seems like nothing ever changes, then it happens suddenly, and you start asking where did it all come from and how could you be so blind not to have foreseen it.

That’s what actually happened with me.

For some reasons, maybe I got so tired figuring things out all the time and making them look bigger and more meaningful that they actually were. Maybe I just got wiser because of my own experiences.

Lately I have been getting responses from the people around me. They were surprised why I didn’t seem to be worrying about anything, including things that they believed I should be worried about (like making stupid and careless, but honest mistakes). They found it weird that I could just easily accepts things. They thought it’s not normal. They believed they should see me at least in a scenario where I panicked or felt crushed and miserable. They didn’t think it’s logical to be calm.

Well, I have to set the record straight. Those things they were referring to were not a matter of life and death…not even close to it. It wasn’t like I was harming anyone without feeling concerned about it. They were referring to petty stuff from cooking and cleaning mistakes…to career and relationships decisions. Of course while the last two ones were life-changing, they were not really that serious when you look at it more closely. And of course you couldn’t compare the weight of cooking and cleaning mistakes with career and relationship decisions…which they also refer to as mistakes.

To be honest, I am not used to it as well. I am not used to this feeling of being calm and accepting. I am so  not used to it that I even questioned if there’s something wrong with me. That’s the thing with neuroses. You eventually think it’s normal when you get used to them that you feel abnormal without them. I believe this makes it difficult for some people to transition to a healthier lifestyle. You feel like an alien to yourself. You have created your entire self concept around your neuroses that your ego has learned to depend on them for a sense of validation and security.

I know this is a tricky place to be in but I also know that I’m not gonna be here forever. I’m writing this post because I want to validate and support myself on my journey and the healthy shifts I am consciously deciding to happen in my life.

This is making me uncomfortable but it is teaching me so much about listening to my own guidance system and trusting all the direct spiritual help I’m getting. I remember I quote I heard once from Abraham Hicks, (this is not a direct quote but this is how I remember what she said), “The universe will tell you what you want to know, what your life purpose is, on one condition – you must not listen to what other people say.”

That’s the price to pay for remembering the truth and getting the answers that we all seek. It’s surely difficult but it’s without a doubt, worth it.