We are all Mirrors

Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

emayvilleEach person, each relationship, each interaction we have in our daily life is meant to help us become more fully ourselves – including, and most especially the ones that are not particularly in our liking.

Notice that when we encounter someone we feel even a slight annoyance to, that we automatically bring out a part of ourselves we don’t always embody. When we get triggered by an interaction/a person, doesn’t it feel like alarm bells are ringing, alerting us to a part of ourselves that need our attention?

It could be an aspect of ourselves that needs healing or unconditional acceptance – or it could be a part of ourselves that we need to bring out more often. We need these relationships as mirrors to show us what needs balancing within us.

Maybe if you had a more competent boss, maybe you wouldn’t even have discovered that you’ve got leadership qualities simply because there won’t be a need for them. Maybe if your parents were not that authoritative, maybe you wouldn’t have learned how to set healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself. Maybe if you never experienced being in a codependent relationship, maybe you wouldn’t have learned who you really are and how to truly love yourself.

We help each other become more authentic and more mature without even knowing it.

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Holding the Cup of Love

Healing, People, People & Relationships, The Self

handsHolding a space for someone to unravel is such a privilege.

We do this for each other without knowing it. It’s that honorable time in our life when we are not asked to do anything but to stand strong in our power and hold the cup of our overflowing love for someone who needs it – so they can go down on their knees, break down and surrender. We are neither asked to take the punches for them nor to come up with creative solutions. Our role, in fact, is to NOT interfere, to let them go through this on their own – because they need this fight to learn and grow, to let go of everything that doesn’t reflect who they really are and who they wanna be.

We serve as their witness, as they go through this sacred transformation. We uphold their cup of love for them until they’re ready to take it back

and give it a home again.

Agents of Tenderness

Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Spirituality, The Self

stressLife can get tough, but the Universe doesn’t leave us alone in our journey. The Universe understands that while we need to go through our own path to learn what we set out to learn and accomplish, we also need not forget who we really are.

In my life, I’ve always had those beings who remind of me of my natural tenderness – humans, animals, nature,. Tthey hold my hand, smile at me, persistently ask me to play and have fun, to sit and relax, to listen to my heart. Many times, I’ve learned to build up a shell around my heart as a way of protecting myself, and many times when the need for it subsides, these beings always do their work of breaking it up either piece-by-piece or  in one blow.

It took a while for me to connect the dots and see the meaning in these relationships, and the presence of these beings in my life. Many times I’ve thought how undeserving I was of their love. But maybe, my human mind just can’t fathom the unconditionality of pure love. And maybe we are also part of this pure love even though it’s difficult to feel that way in our human form with all our complexities and struggles.

Nevertheless I am thankful beyond words can express. The Universe has always been unfailing in sending me all the help and love that I need.

At the end of the day it’s all about Connection

Authenticity, Life path, People, The Self

couple2All our hard work, efficiency, brilliance, ingenuity won’t mean anything if what we do doesn’t bring out our most authentic selves, doesn’t bring us closer to each other and doesn’t make us feel more at home, more grounded where we are.

At the end of the day it’s all about connection.

Get your Priorities Straight

Authenticity, People & Relationships, The Self

blackhair

Having difficulty saying “No”? Tired of feeling guilty? Overcommitted but unfulfilled? Do yourself and everyone a favor – get your priorities straight!

I didn’t know I’ll thank myself later for it, when I declined someone’s invitation to join a trip. I knew it would be nice to go, and I’d definitely would want to spend time with the people there. However, this was tugging at my sleeve – the truth that I’ve already made up my mind on which to prioritize. My weekends have already been blocked off.

A few days later, after declining the said invitation, my grandmother mentioned a trip she has been planning with the rest of the family on the day the other trip was supposed to take place. I felt an opening inside, and a smile couldn’t help but slip off my lips – I said “Yes” in a heartbeat.

It’s the only kind of “Yes” that we deserve. That “Yes” that we don’t think twice for; that “Yes” that resonates with all of our being.

When we get our priorities straight, knowing when to say “No” and actually saying it will be a bit easier. Likewise, by doing so, we are opening up ourselves more to those opporunities that would really bring us joy. Less guilt, less stress, more fun and fulfillment!

Allow and Connect

People & Relationships, The Self

cat

How do you forge a relationship with an animal?

You ground yourself.
You stay present,

with full acceptance of who you are
and what is.

You allow this creature, always free in spirit
to come to you.

To calm down,
to merge with your presence

with no expectations of the outcome
or the length of your time together.

How do you forge a relationship with another human?

You go back to the top.

Repeat.

Togetherness is only possible through Solitude

Healing, Life path, The Self

vinesAt some point we must confront the reality of our solitude; because it’s only through the fullness of experiencing our temporal solitary existence that genuine togetherness is made possible.

It can easily slip off our attention since it’s our default reality, like a fish in the water, but it’s in fact, one of the core facets (if not the major one) of being incarnated in a physical form – to be separated and alone.

Isn’t the journey about experiencing oneself, learning, expanding and finding our way back home?
Wiser, deeper – to wholeness, to unity.

 

A Leap in Perspective

Authenticity, Career, Creative Living, Healing, Life path, Life's Work, People & Relationships, The Self

needleplantI used to think that the only way I could fully live a spiritual life and be in an ecosystem of inspiring one another was by somehow working in the healing/intuitive arts. Lately though, probably as part of my spiritual progression, I’ve learned that –

1. If that is true, then that is very limiting. Not everyone is in or even comes close to the vicinity of healing/intuitive arts. How can we reach those/everybody if we just stay there? I don’t think the Universe is designed to be that way. If anything, we should spread out, expand ourselves, immerse ourselves in unfamiliar situations, engage with people who are different from us in some ways. In the process, learn, grow, be more integrated.

2. We are, by default, living spiritual lives because we are spiritual/energetic beings having a physical experience. We CANNOT NOT be spiritual.

3. Where else is best to live this so called full spiritual life other than where we already are doing what we already do?

Now I think that the goal is actually not to be a healer/a guide/a mentor/or just a spiritual person by profession or by being validated by a particular organization or institution, but to be all these things and so much more simply by choosing to embrace our truest self, our essence – which is love and light – and to show up in the world everyday embodying these where we are and with whoever we interact with.

We have all been touched by “common” people in profound ways;

be it a hairstylist who has shown us great love and compassion when we’re heartbroken, a stranger in the bus who radiated joy and kindness when we felt hopeless towards life, a family member who offered us advice we needed at that time, a colleague who we never thought of as a friend but who suddenly got our back during one of our personal storms, a deceased artist whose works have inspired us to take risks and go for our dreams.

To others, we have played these roles, too, without us knowing about it. We’ll never fully know the mark we leave on each other.

We gotta check in with ourselves. If our inquiry and path naturally leads us to the healing/intuitive arts then great and that will surely benefit all of us. If not, we must have the faith that probably where we are right now is where we can best grow and be of service to others.

You Can Love from a Distance

Faith, Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

key

pinkie

I’ve been on the fence regarding a particular relationship lately. This person has betrayed me, the people I love and continues to live a life of lies. It’s not easy for me to let go because he’s family. I’ve forgiven him though, and I’m at the point where I don’t know whether to cut ties or to make an effort to start anew. Neither seems to resonate with my spirit. I feel the capacity to love him unconditionally despite everything; however, this love comes from a higher place and I’m still grounded in this physical, earthly existence. I still have my earthly concerns; I’m still bounded by earthly laws.

I got my answer last night, as usual, as a mix of clairvoyant and clairaudient message. This is how I’d translated it:

Come up to your higher self and love him unconditionally, at the same time keep yourself grounded. Don’t avert your eyes from the truth.

Imagine yourself as a tree. As a tree, you don’t need to go after him to express your love. You may simply stay where you are, grounded in your spot. Let your love radiate. Let it bleed through your roots, into the earth and towards all life forms. Let it seep through your branches, up to your leaves and into the atmosphere.

Trust in nature’s ability to synthesize your love into various forms. She always does this.

You can love like this. This is still love. A certain distance will keep yourself protected. Your well-being matters, too. It matters the most.

Everywhere is love. All is made of love, anyway. Trust that life will take care of him even if it’s not, no longer through you.

Redefining Success

Authenticity, The Self

dancingSince I am entering a new era in my life, I’ve decided it would not only be helpful but also necessary to redefine what success means to me now.

Doing so would enable me more to find value and fulfillment in my journey as I proceed. It would also empower me to check on myself regularly and evaluate whether I am living from moment to moment in a manner that is authentic to me, then apply the changes I find necessary.

After what I’ve gone through these past few months, one thing keeps coming to the surface – the value of relationships. Relationships are what truly matter; relationship with ourselves, with other humans, with nature, with everything around us including the ones we can’t perceive. We’re happier when we share ourselves and our world with others, interacting with each other is also vital in growing our self-awareness and in traveling the path of our unique expansion.

As I enter this period of my life, I define success based on the quality of my relationships. It’s not based on anything external but only on things that I can influence. I would like to make sure that I am able to bring the following in each interaction I would have from hereon – Authenticity, Respect and Presence.

Being authentic requires me to get clear with my energy, my motivations, my intentions, my values, my biases, things I’m unsure of and the fullness of who I am even before I interact with someone else. This enables me to choose the aspects of me that I would like to share or that is relevant to be revealed in each interaction. Being authentic requires me to be accountable with how I handle my emotions and thoughts and use them to establish trust and camaraderie with who I am interacting with.

It is imperative for me to be respectful of myself and of others no matter what the situation is. It doesn’t matter how the interaction is going, what it is about and the intentions invested in. This means that I recognize the validity of opinions and emotions expressed and exchanged. It requires me to know and uphold my own boundaries and do the same for the ones I am interacting with. Each interaction is based on the fact that we are all created equal and are born free.

Once I’m able to get clear with what’s important, it follows that I expect myself to be fully present in each interaction I choose to participate in. I need to listen fully with all of my senses and take note of not only what’s being said but more importantly, what is not. This is where I must maximize my super power – empathy. Empathy will enable me to acquire all the information I need in each interaction. This ability will consequently empower me to make changes in thoughts, emotions and behavior suitable to pivot each into a pleasant and fruitful one.

For a new definition of success to have any bearing, I must stick to the essentials and avoid adding elements that would only make it complicated to follow through. The outcome of each interaction will always be beyond my sole control, therefore, it doesn’t make sense to list anything related to outcomes to expand my new definition. This also helps me to be unconditional in my evaluations.

This time around, as long as I am able to hold my end of the stick according to my values, I will consider each moment a success and my presence as sufficient and valuable. I will rely on my faith that whatever happens as a result of each interaction will lead to the right outcomes, opportunities and new possibilities for expansion for everyone.

This definition feels more authentic and nourishing to me. It also reflects my collaborative nature. 🙂