I meditated using the Himalayan Singing Bowls music again. I used it for the first time when I met my owl guide.
This second time I found myself in an underground spiritual (not religious) chapel, where people threw coins into a pond and surrendered their fears. They didn’t pray for anything. They didn’t ask for anything. All they did there was surrender their fears, let them go.
I came closer to the pond because I saw a big black, shiny fish opening its mouth showing me a key. It looked like it was giving me the key. I was sitting in a lotus position in front of the pond. I got up and walked to it. It completely spat the key on the edge of the pond. I asked the fish why did it have to give me a key. The fish asked me back, “Is it a key? It’s anything you perceive it to be.” The fish felt and sounded like masculine to me.
Still puzzled, I took the key. Suddenly I noticed I had chains on both of my feet. I unlocked them. I also unlocked the chain tying my wrist. I unlocked the chains on my arms which tied me to the people inside the chapel. They didn’t even seem to notice. They didn’t even seem to know that I was there. Maybe they didn’t see me. Lastly, I noticed a chain tying my neck to my mind. I unlocked it as well. I didn’t know these chains even existed before I got the key.
Suddenly the key changed into a very sharp, little, crystal dagger. I put it in my pocket wrapped around my hips.
I walked into a passageway where a steel door automatically opened. It’s a prison in the same underground chapel. I saw skeletons lying all around. I tried to push one gate and I discovered that it’s actually not locked. I went in to try to experience how it was like being inside one. Suddenly I had the impulse to look up the ceiling. I saw an opening. I didn’t understand why the prisoners died locked in while there was actually a way out.
I went up the stairs to the opening in the ceiling. I found myself in a misty and moonlit forest. Suddenly I was alone. I wondered where all the people in the underground chapel came from. I couldn’t see anyone walking towards it. I walked around. I saw a bonfire with a group of people around it. They looked like they were cooking some food and warming themselves up. They were wearing a hood similar to mine, it looked like a Jesuit priest’s robe. I wanted to see their faces but I couldn’t. I looked around and walked a bit further. When I turned my head to look at them again, they were gone, and so was the bonfire.
I stepped on a stone and it revealed a path to me. I followed it. There was a small house at the end of the path. I looked into my dagger inside my pocket. I saw it changing from a dagger into a key. Finally I decided it was a key. I used the key to open the door of the house.
I went in. I saw people who were wearing robes like mine getting busy on metal work. They were turning chains into keys. They were melting them and molding them. As I was observing them, walking around the place, something caught my eye from outside the window.
It was a fox. It was a black dog. No, it was a wolf. The wolf looked black in the dark. It was actually grey.
I went out of the house and followed the wolf. It lead me into another underground. In that place I saw foxes sculpting and crocheting – the universe. Yes, you got it right. They were creating galaxies, planets, starts and whathaveyounot.
We didn’t stay for long there. We went out and sat on a stone under an old tree.
The wolf said that all those that I saw were not real outside of my own mind. It didn’t mean they’re pointless or just hollow illusions. It only meant that everybody was a co-creator. We have always created worlds based on our perception and deliberate intentions and decisions on what to create.
I asked him questions. I asked him why did I receive a key. He said that maybe that’s what I needed at this point. What were keys for exactly? Keys were not just for opening doors. Keys were for opening locks in general. He said maybe I needed to free myself from all the self-imposed chains or chains that were imposed on me that I wasn’t even aware of to begin with. He said that there was always a way out. But opposite to the prisoners who died in the prison even if there was a way out, I should look up. Yes, that’s all I had to do.
I should open up my higher mind and seek the light, let the light penetrate me. I should seek to create a strong bond between my light and this universal light. I should come to that light every time I felt worried, afraid, lonely, confused, uncertain, ashamed, guilty, grieving, lost, etc. That light was my way out.
I told him about my current predicament, about my fears for my future and future with andy because they’re uncertain. I told him I didn’t know how to begin my life again, how to find that career that I would love and that would help me create abundance as well in my life. I also told him that I was scared of my future with my partner. What if he eventually decided not to leave his hometown? What if I never change my mind and still wouldn’t want to migrate to his hometown? Was it gonna be the end of our heavenly, powerful, loving, beautiful relationship?
The wolf said that I felt stuck in the dark because I didn’t know the other slices of the pie.
What about his goals for himself and for the relationship? What about his opinions? What about his strengths and sense of responsibility to himself and the relationships? What about his own power? Likewise, what about the part of the universe? What about the plans of the universe? What about its wishes? What about its powers?
He said that I only knew my own part and I was just filling in the blanks from the pieces coming from the Fear Basket.
He said there were two baskets; Fear and Empowerment. He said that I chose to pick the pieces from the Fear Basket that’s why I felt fearful and stuck, feeling small.
I asked him how to change my attitude. He paused for a few seconds. Eventually he said that maybe doing that would be overkill. It would be overstretching myself. It’s not the easiest thing to jump from fear to empowerment. He said that perhaps the wisest strategy was to focus on what brings me joy. It didn’t even have to be a career or a hobby. I just needed to identify what made me happy and do or have more of it. By doing this he said, I would be totally engrossed in it, completely forgetting about my fears until events unfold, my partner would eventually do his part and the universe as well. Everyone would contribute in the unfolding of events naturally.
This made me feel really excited. He said, “Look at you, your face even lighted up just by talking about this. I think you already know what it is that brings you joy.” I nodded at him, smiling.