“We accept the love we think we deserve”, says the famous quote.
I say, “We shape the ones we love. We ochestrate how we are loved.”
I think this is more accurate. We are more powerful than we claim ourselves to be.
There’s no external force that is judging us and holding us accountable for our actions. Heaven or hell are not places we go to in the afterlife – they are two extreme states of being within ourselves, of relating with ourselves.
We can either feel attuned to who we really are or totally disconnected. We only either feel proud of how we live up according to our standards or feel disappointed by how we’re unable to be who we say we wanna be, who we say we are.
As usual, animal spirit guides would appear and have the most profound conversations with me. This time it was a white female wolf who answered my inquiry. She said,
“That’s true – but only partly true. I ask you, if there is a mirror in front of you but you choose not to look, would you still see your reflection? Does the type of mirror affect how you see yourself? Let’s say you choose to look at a mirror which reflects an angle of your face or your body that you don’t like, won’t this make you conclude that you’re ultimately unlikable and generally unattractive?
This is a world of mirrors, yes, but not all are created equal. You must use your own power of discernment. There are no right or wrong mirrors to look at. But there is one thing that determines whether this world of mirrors serves you or not – Intention.
Your intention determines whether you choose to look at a mirror or not, your intention determines which mirrors to look at, your intention determines which parts of yourself you want to shed a light on and magnify.
This is not to immerse yourself in self-denial at the expense of your own growth. But to use the power of focus to grow that which is life-affirming and noteworthy in yourself, in your life.
Why choose to look at a distorted, or worse, a broken mirror?”
Own that space. Seize the chances you’re given.
Be shameless. Be here. Fully. Unapologetic and free. Create and deliver.
You matter because you are here.
When you believe something is missing or needs to change – opt for the better way; don’t resort to complaining and feeling helpless – get started and do something about it. This may not entirely address the situation, but it’s a way to start the momentum in the direction you want it to go.
If you’re in the right place, with the right people, at the right time, and if your concerns make sense – your efforts will be met with support. If not then maybe it’s not the right time yet or maybe it’s better for you to simply move on. Your brilliance and sincerity are better spent somewhere else.
No one will hand you want you want. Big girl, you gotta go get it.
There will always be those who would measure you up and put you in a box they’ve created.
There will be times when you’ll be weighed like dead meat and nobody will give a fuck about how you feel.
You will be Ignored. Unseen. Forgotten.
You won’t always get a prize for being treated like an underdog/feeling like a martyr.
You won’t always have the chance/ability to create your epic comeback.
There’s no guarantee that new opportunities/blessings/valuable lessons will come out of those situations –
maybe, except for
The lesson of how to be Unconditional.
How to love yourself Unconditionally.
How to embrace life Unconditionally.
To know that you’re worth is not dependent on what happens or doesn’t happen to you.
To know you’ll be fine just the same whether you get what you want and what you deserve – or not.
To have the maturity to accept that you’re not always gonna have it your way, that other people’s freewill and how the Universe works deserve to be respected, too, even if they don’t fully make sense to you.
To know that at the end of it all, your spirit cannot be contained, you will never cease to exist and that life is always in your favor, and even if it doesn’t feel that way, we are all created equal.
In the recent years, looking back, I noted that I was able to have/create what I really wanted not by actively pursuing them, but by giving them up.
It’s counter-intuitive, I know, but the lesson I get is always simple and always the same: When you honor your values, when you don’t settle for less than what you know you deserve, when you choose yourself, the Universe lights up and aligns everything in your favor.
The first time it happened, I could literally feel my angels and guides partying and showering me with kudos. Learning the most important lesson of self-worth and self-love is a triumph for everyone.
Since then that’s how I knew that if something’s making me feel like I had to choose between myself and that thing/relationship, that’s when I should let it go. It will find its way back to me if it’s meant for me at the right time, in the right circumstances, if not it will completely fade away from my life experience.
This happens because the manifestations of our desires are always secondary, what matters the most is our well-being, our joy and our expansion.
Everytime I find my nephew awake and interactive, I feel an instant urge to latch onto him and create a third world plane where we can experience the same magical things together.
I can’t describe the joy I feel when I see and feel him responding to me. I can see it in his eyes, in his facial expressions, in the sounds and gestures he makes.
This tiny bouncing ball of energy has all the eternal wisdom inside him. I feel it when we interact. He knows it fully well what I mean by magic. His world is magical. He gets excited when we talk about explorations and adventures, the little wonders and joys of life. I call him an explorer with a cute hat and a red backpack, a ball of cheese, a creature who swims in and thinks and dreams of milk, a tiny indestructible universe, an ancient treasure chest, among others. I told him once how I knew he’s holding magical surprises inside his tiny, delicate hands – and he laughed.
His spirit lives in his infant body for now yet I feel his expansiveness – his true essence cannot be contained.
He’s amazed when I tell him how I imagine it must be like inside his milky mouth – how we’re gonna go on a ship and ride the waves of this milky ocean. He agrees when I tell him how I imagine what’s inside his round tummy – for sure stars, entire galaxies, raindrops, and all the yummy things too, like cupcakes.
To most adults my poetry, my art, my imagination are pure nonsense and even ridiculous. On the other hand these are the same things that make me naturally good at being a freestyle storyteller to babies and kids.
To my perfect round nephew, I am not ridiculous because I’m talking about things that are not real. To him I am ridiculous because my world is only as limited as my imagination.
To him I am ridiculously amusing and liberating. He wouldn’t want me any other way. He is just thrilled to be with me in this third world plane we create together where unlimited realities abound.
Whenever I see him awake I ask him to tell me stories about his world, of new things he discovered and his accompanying thoughts and feelings. I also tell him about my world, what it’s like outside, about my dogs, the animals, the plants, the sun, the sky (I could go on), what brings me joy and the fun things we’re gonna be doing when he grows up. In my mind there is an actually existing world where we are on a timeless adventure – we walk through forests, sleep on tree tops like birds, cross rivers, hike mountains, fly and eat chocolates for snacks. Of course, we read books along the way and play with animal friends.
I’ve found my reflection as a Universe in my nephew, my new cutesy friend – and my heart feels content.
Nothing feels as good as when one is in the company of other self-loving people.
The love you have inside, the love you’re capable of perceiving and receiving gets amplified to heights you’ve not even conceived of.
You need not even think how you’re gonna give back, the exchange of love is automatic. There is no issue of codependency, of not giving enough or giving too much, or of not having your needs met. The sum of the love you create altogether is so much more than what each of you has on her/his own.
If it can be translated materially, I’d describe it as the process of creating layers and layers of nourishing, multidimensional atmospheres or fields of energy that wrap the entire planet.
The love we create ends up nourishing us in ways we could never possibly do on our own.
Without a doubt, this can literally create an entire new planet, an entire new reality. No wonder why learning how to love ourselves is the single most important work we could ever have.