Agents of Tenderness

Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Spirituality, The Self

stressLife can get tough, but the Universe doesn’t leave us alone in our journey. The Universe understands that while we need to go through our own path to learn what we set out to learn and accomplish, we also need not forget who we really are.

In my life, I’ve always had those beings who remind of me of my natural tenderness – humans, animals, nature,. Tthey hold my hand, smile at me, persistently ask me to play and have fun, to sit and relax, to listen to my heart. Many times, I’ve learned to build up a shell around my heart as a way of protecting myself, and many times when the need for it subsides, these beings always do their work of breaking it up either piece-by-piece or  in one blow.

It took a while for me to connect the dots and see the meaning in these relationships, and the presence of these beings in my life. Many times I’ve thought how undeserving I was of their love. But maybe, my human mind just can’t fathom the unconditionality of pure love. And maybe we are also part of this pure love even though it’s difficult to feel that way in our human form with all our complexities and struggles.

Nevertheless I am thankful beyond words can express. The Universe has always been unfailing in sending me all the help and love that I need.

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Why Others’ Autonomy is Dependent on Ours

Life path, Life's Work, The Self

dancingWe can’t assist others in finding their own strength if we never let go of their hand, if we never give them the chance to take the risk to fall down and get back up – do it all again until they figure it out.

We’re not helping others in cultivating trust in life and in themselves if we never leave them alone in their path; if we always string them along ours or if we keep on making decisions for them.

We can’t teach others how to be autonomous in their own life by not being autonomous in ours first.

Most of the time, the best that we can do to help those in need of assistance is to actually get so focused on our own path that we’ve got no time to enable others in their small-mindedness. Let life be our teacher; let our higher self be our champion.

You have nothing to lose

Faith, Life path, Life's Work, The Self

freshYou are gonna die someday.

In the face of death I bet you won’t give a damn about the superficial stuff. I bet what’s gonna grab your attention by the neck is how you can maximize all the time that’s left. I bet you’d scramble stretching what little chance you still have to engage with the things that matter the most to you.

I bet you’d drop your pretenses, finally, and open yourself wide to reveal the fullness of who you are. You are light.

So what if you get rejected – for speaking up, for standing up for what you believe in, for going after your dreams? So what if you make mistakes as you figure things out – isn’t it the point of living, to learn and grow? So what if people mock you for seizing the moments you’re given to step into your own greatness and unleash life’s abundance through you – who’s loss is that?

All these things that preoccupy you are merely distractions. Don’t let them dim your light. All this clinging on the status quo and being a slave of fear will not take you where you wanna be.

Step into the open. Leap into the night. Confront your own light.

Release your courage by confronting the truth – you have nothing to lose.

The Question is: Do you really want it?

Life path, Manifestation, The Self

blackhairAs I drifted to my waking state this morning, a vision flashed into my mind. I was shown, like a film on a huge screen, two of my most cherished desires from the moment of conception up to their fruition. I was asked, too, why there seemed to be a space in between and in hindsight, its possible significance.

I was dumbstrucked, my mind was sucked in a vaccuum and went completely blank. I never thought about that question. I never even bothered checking that angle.

At first I thought probably it’s because I still had to become the kind of person who deserved those things before I could have them. But that felt incomplete to me. It just didn’t fit. It sounded conditional and shallow.

Then I realized, those desires wouldn’t have materialized in the first place if it’s not because of what I did – if not because of my full engagement and devotion to them. If not because of  the chances I took, the risks I embraced and the work I’ve invested onto them.

The question was not whether I was deserving of my desires. The real question was and always has been: Do I really want what I thought I wanted?

I was deserving and always will be – we all are. What enables us to create is our desire and not our value (since we are all equally valuable and worthy to begin with).

We’re able to manifest some desires but not others, not mainly because they’re not “meant” for us, but because we don’t want them enough – we don’t want them in the same way, with the same intensity and passion needed to give birth to something that matters.

That space in between – between the conception of my desires and their fruition – gave me all the time I needed to evaluate whether I really wanted what I said I wanted.

More importantly, I didn’t find the answers by putting everything on hold and reflecting in isolation. I worked my way – I lived my way through them. I’ve expressed my “Yes-es” through my countless decisions to proceed.

Most of the time if we’re not “given” what we thought we wanted we think that it’s only either because it’s not meant for us or it’s not the right time yet. We fail to look at and/or underestimate our own contribution in the manifestation of our desires. When it feels as though our desires are put “on hold” it’s not always because of those two things above, more often that not, it’s simply life’s way of asking us, “Do you really want it?” And again, life expects us to answer not through our words but through our committed actions.

If there are things sitting on your list, unrealized and merely sucking up your energetic space – take the time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Dare to ask the question that matters the most, “Do you really want it/them?”. Take inspired actions from there.

Focus on the “Solid” Stuff

Manifestation, The Self

bouquetDon’t allow yourself to be distracted by numbers, titles and a plethora of accessories we invent every second. Don’t be preoccupied with taking notes of how much you’re able to get and how much more you want to/you should be getting.

Take the chances that are being given to you, the strengths you’re blessed with, the love and the support that you are provided with. Take it all in – and multiply it to X amount.

Why?

To show the kind of person that you are.

To reaffirm how good life is. To prove that this is a Universe of Abundance.

That we are only limited by how much abundance we allow into our lives.

We are the Channels of Abundance.

By abundance I don’t simply refer to money and material wealth, power and all the shiny things, but THE REAL EXCITING STUFF – ideas, awareness, skills, desire, passion, vision, purpose, experience, depth, uplifting connections, the ability to create synchronicity, among others.

When you have those things in your life, when you know their value, when you are harnessing their power to nourish yourself and the people around you, you just tapped your direct connection with the source of all abundance. Abundance can’t help but flow into your life in a whole lot of ways.

Pay attention to the real things, the solid stuff!

Because the “solid” stuff are not solid.

A Leap in Perspective

Authenticity, Career, Creative Living, Healing, Life path, Life's Work, People & Relationships, The Self

needleplantI used to think that the only way I could fully live a spiritual life and be in an ecosystem of inspiring one another was by somehow working in the healing/intuitive arts. Lately though, probably as part of my spiritual progression, I’ve learned that –

1. If that is true, then that is very limiting. Not everyone is in or even comes close to the vicinity of healing/intuitive arts. How can we reach those/everybody if we just stay there? I don’t think the Universe is designed to be that way. If anything, we should spread out, expand ourselves, immerse ourselves in unfamiliar situations, engage with people who are different from us in some ways. In the process, learn, grow, be more integrated.

2. We are, by default, living spiritual lives because we are spiritual/energetic beings having a physical experience. We CANNOT NOT be spiritual.

3. Where else is best to live this so called full spiritual life other than where we already are doing what we already do?

Now I think that the goal is actually not to be a healer/a guide/a mentor/or just a spiritual person by profession or by being validated by a particular organization or institution, but to be all these things and so much more simply by choosing to embrace our truest self, our essence – which is love and light – and to show up in the world everyday embodying these where we are and with whoever we interact with.

We have all been touched by “common” people in profound ways;

be it a hairstylist who has shown us great love and compassion when we’re heartbroken, a stranger in the bus who radiated joy and kindness when we felt hopeless towards life, a family member who offered us advice we needed at that time, a colleague who we never thought of as a friend but who suddenly got our back during one of our personal storms, a deceased artist whose works have inspired us to take risks and go for our dreams.

To others, we have played these roles, too, without us knowing about it. We’ll never fully know the mark we leave on each other.

We gotta check in with ourselves. If our inquiry and path naturally leads us to the healing/intuitive arts then great and that will surely benefit all of us. If not, we must have the faith that probably where we are right now is where we can best grow and be of service to others.

The Way to Live

Authenticity, Career, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

anyway

upI caught myself singing this line over and over again this morning. I didn’t even know what song it was or if it even existed to begin with (eventually I googled and found out there’s an actual song by Journey).

I’ve been getting really fired up in finding out the reason why I feel as if I am being redirected to a particular career path. I’ve not only been stressing myself over the reason but also on how to set goals for myself this time so as not to squander this opportunity and all the abundance it will bring. To my dismay, I couldn’t get the answer despite my efforts to “open” myself to it. All I felt was uncertainty – and panic.

This line of the song just answered the puzzle for me. It’s not unusual for me to get guidance from songs I randomly sing. It’s one of my subconscious’ ways of answering my questions. It made me realize that the reason why I couldn’t seem to answer my questions was because the questions themselves were not suitable for me.

I’ve been imposing on myself a particular approach that I’ve seen on others which may or may not have worked for them – having a list of goals they want to accomplish and coming up with a plan on how to achieve them. Pretty straight forward, a mainstream way of going about life.

I, on the other hand, do not subscribe to this approach at this point in my life. I did in the past and maybe I’ll do it again someday. But right now, what I truly feel is the most authentic way for me to live is to be present from moment to moment. What I’ll do next depends on what I am inspired to do in the next moment. I’ll figure it out as long as I am able to fully ground myself in the present. What I’ll do in each moment will have an impact – short term or long term, I won’t even know, but it will surely take me on a certain direction. It will surely lead me to accomplish things, to grow in a certain way, to create, to materialize things I desire, to make an impact bigger than my singular life.

In this approach, I don’t need to know all the details and I don’t need to come up with a list of goals to live a full life. In this approach, my dynamic list of values and principles is enough. My life will unfold on its own beautiful and unique way.

Any way we want to live our lives, that’s the way we need it – and that’s definitely the way to do it. It will continuously evolve so we must remain open to it.

This answer has brought peace to my heart. In case you’re bothered, I hope you find clarity and peace to yours, too. 🙂

I’m the one that remains

Faith, Poetry, The Self
My loyalty, above all, is to myself.


I am the champion of my own principles,

I am my redeemer,

I am my own strength.


I am my shield and my sword.

I am the rock, 

upon which I have built myself.


I am my own garden, pregnant with realities -

Abundant.

Death and life combined.


I am my horizon and the earth that shakes 

underneath my feet.


I am the sky and the rain

and all the oceans combined.


I am all the stars 

I could never count.

I am the light that

won't ever wane.


I'll be here when everything

burns to the ground.

When everyone has turned their back

against me,

I'm the one that stays.


I'm the one that remains.



daena de guzman | 2017

Why do we Relapse?

Healing, The Self

upOkay, let’s say we get it right for a couple of days, for a few weeks, a few months and even a few years. Then at some point during our progress, we relapse, we go back to our old problematic situation – may it be a previous lifestyle, a disposition, relationships, habits, and just the very thing – anything – we have set our mind to get over with for good.

Why does this happen?

I know it’s frustrating and sometimes complex, but the answer can also be as simple as this:

Because we stop working on it.

Any kind of change worthy of our effort needs our dedication just like physical work out. We gotta do it regularly and even level up the intensity if we want to see progress. Our muscles get back to how they were or even in worse shape when we stop working out. We can’t just work out intensely for a few months and expect that it’s gonna do it for the rest of our lives. We need to be continuously on it, regardless if we’re in the mood or not for it, regardless if we feel like we’re getting back to how we were or not…yet. We usually stop when it either gets better or worse – and things are always gonna go either way, anyway.

Healthy habits have to be practiced consciously, consistently, especially when it’s difficult, since those times are probably when we are at our most vulnerable…to hit a wall or relapse.

Many of us think that we can just get over something for good.

Maybe scientifically, technically, yes, there are qualifiers and there is a need to do that as well. But not essentially. It’s a pretty subjective matter and things are open-ended until, well, we die. We just cannot get over our humanity until then. We are always subject to evolution.

Likewise, we may need to stamp on an issue for our own self-esteem and peace of mind, and that is certainly not a bad thing to do if doing so actually helps. However, for many of us, this only puts an intolerable pressure that backfires when we realize we can’t keep up with our own expectations. This only makes us more critical of ourselves and of others which can lead us into another (maybe worse) downward spiral.

What helped me with my struggle with chronic depression and my fears of relapsing (again) was accepting that it’s probably gonna be one of crosses until I die. I am probably more likely to be depressed because of how I am wired and there’s certainly nothing I can do to change that, and I wouldn’t want to, anyway. It’s only after being able to accept it that I felt powerful over it again.

It’s a struggle and also a beacon of light for me, guiding me on how I should be taking care of myself. It’s a constant reminder of all the healthy habits I should be embodying, not out of fear, but out of genuine self-awareness and self-love. It reminds me of how I won the battles of my life, which only proves how indestructible my spirit is, which only inspires me to move forward in my path.

Many times, I have wished, too, of a button that we could simply press to transform ourselves and our lives with for once and for all. But eventually I have realized what’s the point of life then if such a thing existed?

The narratives of our lives are about our struggles, transformations and triumphs. The Universe hopes that we learn to appreciate them more; to see them as beautiful and full of meaning – and to just. keep. going.

You are not lost. We are not lost.

Creative Living, Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

lureYou may be confused at the moment. You may be in a foggy part of your path. You may be feeling lonely, probably you’re running out of faith in your tank, too. While I won’t pretend to know how exactly you must be feeling and what exactly you’re going through, ’cause I acknowledge the realness that each of our journey is unique, I want to extend my empathy and  best wishes to you as a kindred spirit.

Many people have accused me of not knowing what I really wanted with regards to my career and life path. Many people have withheld trust from me because of this perception. Many people belittled me. It went on for so long to the point that I started believing them.

But in the middle of my recent retreat, when the fog started to dissipate and I could have some clarity again, a knowing just sprouted out, like a tiny mouse that has been hiding simply to protect herself from the momentary chaos around her. I knew then with full certainty that it was not true that I didn’t know what I wanted. It was not true that I was intrinsically confused. And in fact, it was not true that those people who have accused me of not knowing what I wanted really believed in that –

They knew very well that I knew what I wanted but that it was simply not what I was pursuing.

Of course, they didn’t have any idea what it was that I wanted, but they’re pretty sure that it was not what they were offering me. They didn’t know why I was not pursuing what I wanted but surely, they’ve got all the reasons to not wanna work with me. My mind was somewhere else. That’s why they rejected me.

My issue was not the not-knowing but the suppressing of my own desires in the first place because I thought they’re too big, too impossible, too far for me to reach. So I put my focus on other things, I reached for the low-hanging fruits instead.

I was playing small. I didn’t even dare speak nor write about my desires. I simply let them float like clouds above my head as I walk through life half-awake.

There was no blueprint that I could use, no map to lead my way, no one I personally knew I could ask for guidance – these were the reasons why I refused to pursue my own path, refused to even own it to begin with.

You might be on the same boat and these might be some of your reasons, too. Yes, we may have forgotten what it was we were truthfully passionate about after pursuing something we have merely settled for, but I dare you to look inside yourself and realize that you know you are not confused. In fact, you very well know what’s gonna make you happy and what’s gonna enable you to live your life to the fullest. Maybe the answers are not what you expect from yourself, maybe they’re not what the people around you expect from you.

But this is the truth we all have to confront – that we won’t ever be able to pivot in the right direction if we don’t own these answers. We can’t move through the path of joy and fulfillment if we judge our own desires to begin with, if we feel unworthy of them, if we think they’re ridiculous or impossible.

We have to stop looking outside of ourselves for validation. We need to avoid comparing our dreams with those around us, or even with the people we look up to.

Each of us has a unique path of becoming. It is both our right and responsibility to claim it – to take it.

The path will unfold and our steps will be lighted once we say yes to it. All the other possible paths collapse through the power of our focus. It will be a path of uncertainty, exactly because it’s a new path – it’s ours alone. There will be ups and downs and bumps along the way like any trail of adventure, but each stone, each broken branch, each puddle of mud will only take us closer to where we wanna be. Even though we’re not there yet and it may take a while we can always rest in the knowing that we are not lost and our efforts are worthwhile.