As I drifted to my waking state this morning, a vision flashed into my mind. I was shown, like a film on a huge screen, two of my most cherished desires from the moment of conception up to their fruition. I was asked, too, why there seemed to be a space in between and in hindsight, its possible significance.
I was dumbstrucked, my mind was sucked in a vaccuum and went completely blank. I never thought about that question. I never even bothered checking that angle.
At first I thought probably it’s because I still had to become the kind of person who deserved those things before I could have them. But that felt incomplete to me. It just didn’t fit. It sounded conditional and shallow.
Then I realized, those desires wouldn’t have materialized in the first place if it’s not because of what I did – if not because of my full engagement and devotion to them. If not because of the chances I took, the risks I embraced and the work I’ve invested onto them.
The question was not whether I was deserving of my desires. The real question was and always has been: Do I really want what I thought I wanted?
I was deserving and always will be – we all are. What enables us to create is our desire and not our value (since we are all equally valuable and worthy to begin with).
We’re able to manifest some desires but not others, not mainly because they’re not “meant” for us, but because we don’t want them enough – we don’t want them in the same way, with the same intensity and passion needed to give birth to something that matters.
That space in between – between the conception of my desires and their fruition – gave me all the time I needed to evaluate whether I really wanted what I said I wanted.
More importantly, I didn’t find the answers by putting everything on hold and reflecting in isolation. I worked my way – I lived my way through them. I’ve expressed my “Yes-es” through my countless decisions to proceed.
Most of the time if we’re not “given” what we thought we wanted we think that it’s only either because it’s not meant for us or it’s not the right time yet. We fail to look at and/or underestimate our own contribution in the manifestation of our desires. When it feels as though our desires are put “on hold” it’s not always because of those two things above, more often that not, it’s simply life’s way of asking us, “Do you really want it?” And again, life expects us to answer not through our words but through our committed actions.
If there are things sitting on your list, unrealized and merely sucking up your energetic space – take the time to have an honest conversation with yourself. Dare to ask the question that matters the most, “Do you really want it/them?”. Take inspired actions from there.