Begin Again

Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

upThe only way we can finally clear whatever is blocking us is by taking a leap of faith to try again – to run the risk of getting hurt again.

The only way we can finally heal ourselves is by having the courage to get back up

and begin again.

 

Try again. Open yourself up for rejection again.
That’s how one fully gets over past hurts that have blocked one’s heart.

Healing isn’t dependent on someone else’s acceptance of you.
Healing is dependent on your decision to believe and hope again.

That’s the only way you’ll know your heart is back on fire.

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We are all Mirrors

Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

emayvilleEach person, each relationship, each interaction we have in our daily life is meant to help us become more fully ourselves – including, and most especially the ones that are not particularly in our liking.

Notice that when we encounter someone we feel even a slight annoyance to, that we automatically bring out a part of ourselves we don’t always embody. When we get triggered by an interaction/a person, doesn’t it feel like alarm bells are ringing, alerting us to a part of ourselves that need our attention?

It could be an aspect of ourselves that needs healing or unconditional acceptance – or it could be a part of ourselves that we need to bring out more often. We need these relationships as mirrors to show us what needs balancing within us.

Maybe if you had a more competent boss, maybe you wouldn’t even have discovered that you’ve got leadership qualities simply because there won’t be a need for them. Maybe if your parents were not that authoritative, maybe you wouldn’t have learned how to set healthy boundaries and stand up for yourself. Maybe if you never experienced being in a codependent relationship, maybe you wouldn’t have learned who you really are and how to truly love yourself.

We help each other become more authentic and more mature without even knowing it.

Holding the Cup of Love

Healing, People, People & Relationships, The Self

handsHolding a space for someone to unravel is such a privilege.

We do this for each other without knowing it. It’s that honorable time in our life when we are not asked to do anything but to stand strong in our power and hold the cup of our overflowing love for someone who needs it – so they can go down on their knees, break down and surrender. We are neither asked to take the punches for them nor to come up with creative solutions. Our role, in fact, is to NOT interfere, to let them go through this on their own – because they need this fight to learn and grow, to let go of everything that doesn’t reflect who they really are and who they wanna be.

We serve as their witness, as they go through this sacred transformation. We uphold their cup of love for them until they’re ready to take it back

and give it a home again.

Agents of Tenderness

Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Spirituality, The Self

stressLife can get tough, but the Universe doesn’t leave us alone in our journey. The Universe understands that while we need to go through our own path to learn what we set out to learn and accomplish, we also need not forget who we really are.

In my life, I’ve always had those beings who remind of me of my natural tenderness – humans, animals, nature,. Tthey hold my hand, smile at me, persistently ask me to play and have fun, to sit and relax, to listen to my heart. Many times, I’ve learned to build up a shell around my heart as a way of protecting myself, and many times when the need for it subsides, these beings always do their work of breaking it up either piece-by-piece or  in one blow.

It took a while for me to connect the dots and see the meaning in these relationships, and the presence of these beings in my life. Many times I’ve thought how undeserving I was of their love. But maybe, my human mind just can’t fathom the unconditionality of pure love. And maybe we are also part of this pure love even though it’s difficult to feel that way in our human form with all our complexities and struggles.

Nevertheless I am thankful beyond words can express. The Universe has always been unfailing in sending me all the help and love that I need.

We feel Lost sometimes

Faith, Life path, The Self

lostWhen it feels like you’re in the wrong place, in the wrong direction, instead of turning around, sometimes, in fact, you just have to keep on moving forward.

Imagine you find yourself lost in the middle of the desert, it won’t make sense to turn back, right? Most probably your best choice is to keep moving forward along the path you’re in until you find an oasis, and eventually your very own destination.

Pace Yourself

Authenticity, Life path, The Self

standingIf you’re too fast too soon there’s a high chance that you’ll get tired fast, too, and that you won’t be able to maintain a pace that can last you a long while.

On the other hand, if you warm yourself up first, get your focus right and allow yourself to reach your natural optimal pace, you become more equipped to stay in the game longer  – and even get better as you go. As the journey progresses, you may even surpass a lot of those who started at top speed, those who were initially ahead of you.

As the saying goes, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” You’re here for the long haul. You’re here to evolve.

It’s not just about how fast you go, at the end of the day it’s about the quality of the journey you create. Is it pleasant to you for the most part or does it feel more like torture? Are you enjoying the sights and sounds? The insights you get? The ways you’re growing? The company of the people you share experiences with?

Do you have the soul-space to be fully present in each moment and savor the last drop of it or do you keep on wishing it’s over?

How do you think the people around you perceive you and your journey? Do you think they feel inspired just by looking at how you go through it and by who you are becoming because of it? Or do you end up discouraging them before they even begin embarking on their own?

These questions are as important as the ones we ask ourselves everytime we’re plotting our course and defining our goals.

Our intentions frame the choices we make, and the choices we make end up creating the kind of life we live.

Get clear with your intentions. Set your own pace. Build yourself to last – and have a good time!

 

Turning Fear into our Greatest Ally

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

lostDo you know a cool way to determine how much you’ve grown?

Look back a few years from now, a few months from now, even a few weeks, days, hours and minutes from now – and identify which fears you have tamed, mastered, overcame. Really scan your body, your memories for those things that used to make you feel suneasy, terrified, anything that has kept you from doing certain things you’ve wanted to do.

List those fears that are your fears no more.

I see those as stepping stones. Some even feel like mountain ranges, volcanoes, and even heavenly bodies crashing into earth.

No matter how big or small we perceive them to be, how life-changing they may have been, they have taken us this far in our journey. They are our warrior trophies.

It’s not only a good way of reflecting how much we have grown but also a good way of reframing our perspective towards fear itself. By having this new outlook, it becomes possible to look at fear not as something to be avoided at all cost but as something to be curious about.

Fear has the key to the next level of our journey. It leads us to the door of our further expansion.

Some of the fears I have overcame were:

Fear of saying “No”. Fear of saying I don’t want this certain (insert situation, relationship, habit, way of living, etc.) anymore. Knowing well the consequences and still stepping on the brakes. Against all odds, choosing my own well-being and integrity.

Confronting the truth of another person. Facing the fact that the person I loved, admired, trusted, good friends with may actually be unhealthy for me. Accepting their humanity and letting my ideations of them go.

Taking chances (fear of rejection and heartache). Going for some of my biggest dreams. Embracing the possibility that I can manifest the career that I wanted. Making the first move to make a loving partnership happen. Going for the things that I deeply wanted with the risk of getting rejected and beaten. Going for them, anyway.

Putting my art (and inevitably, myself) out there (again, fear of rejection and embarrasment). Believing that me and my art have a place in this world, that we are meant to be seen. That somewhere out there, there are those who will be entertained and/or inspired by what we are aching to offer.

Being alone (and not “making it”). Yes, even the most introverted person like me can still have fears of being alone. I love solitude so much and I need it like a fish needs to be in the water. Despite the fact, I used to have this existential fear – that I’m sure most of us can resonate with – of uncertainty whether I can really be autonomous over my life. You know what I did? I embraced that fear. I ended codependent relationships, stopped chasing things that were obviously running away from me, I traveled solo, I built my path with my bare hands and feet – tried and failed, tried and failed – and then tried and succeeded.

This approach has helped me a lot! It’s handy especially during those times when I feel like a total loser, like I’m not really going anywhere and I’m just running in place. Fear has a powerful way of holding us hostage in our own life, in our own mind. But by flipping the switch of our perspective, we can turn fear from being our worst foe into our greatest ally.

May your fears lead you the way to your own alignment.

Togetherness is only possible through Solitude

Healing, Life path, The Self

vinesAt some point we must confront the reality of our solitude; because it’s only through the fullness of experiencing our temporal solitary existence that genuine togetherness is made possible.

It can easily slip off our attention since it’s our default reality, like a fish in the water, but it’s in fact, one of the core facets (if not the major one) of being incarnated in a physical form – to be separated and alone.

Isn’t the journey about experiencing oneself, learning, expanding and finding our way back home?
Wiser, deeper – to wholeness, to unity.

 

On Leadership

Manifestation, People & Relationships, The Self

cocreation

girlsLeadership can manifest in a variety of ways, and probably, we almost always associate it with career, business, politics or any religious/spiritual movement. Not all of us will be put in those situations, though, neither do we need to be in order to be in a position of leadership.

By default, we’re already the leaders of our own lives. Inevitably so, we are always influencing each other’s preferences, decisions and behavior.

We define leadership in a range of responsibilities and character traits that we think are part of the package of what it means to be a leader.

I’ve had my own struggles when it comes to leadership. Not sure yet how it all began, or if its just an intrinsic part of my character, but I’ve always felt conflicted towards what I assumed were “persons of authority” – from my parents, to my older relatives, to my teachers, religious leaders, health practitioners, bosses. There’s a part of me who just couldn’t fully trust them. While my peers blindly obeyed their parents, my classmates befriended our teachers, and my colleagues befriended our bosses, I kept my distance and gravitated towards my own ground instead.

I have learned at a young age to not trust their opinions of me completely – regardless if they’re positive or negative. I just didn’t accept them at face value, and instead, relied on my own self-awareness and self-evaluation. I didn’t always question their opinions outwardly, but I made sure to rely on my own judgment as the final word. I paid attention, did my research and used my critical thinking.

I’ve had my own share of rebellions at each stage of my life, to varying degrees, and it hasn’t been a smooth ride, as those of you who’ve been on a similar path would surely know. I didn’t get fair treatment from teachers for refusing to act like their pet, I’ve had messy, antagonistic fights with my parents because of decisions I made which contradicted their advice, I’ve been overlooked for promotions at work because I wouldn’t wanna open up to my bosses, and yes – I’ve had a couple of police beatings, too, for choosing to stand up for my rights and principles.

It’s as if the world pushed me back the more I dared to stand up. I would get beaten whenever I opted to use my own mind. I was banished for merely embracing myself.

I have made, and continue to make, quite unpopular decisions – decisions that made me look bad to others and sometimes, most of all, to myself. I’ve made decisions that have created conflicts and enemies I never intended to create. I have polarized camps, stirred discourses to a boiling degree and pushed for decisive resolutions before everyone else was ready.

It didn’t even take me so long before I earned the status of The Bitch. When one dares to be authentic, especially when one is a woman, this would inevitably happen sooner than one might expect. On the other hand, it took me quite longer before I finally got the lesson behind my life-long struggle with leadership.

It has come full circle for me lately.  Life wanted me to learn that at the heart of each leader’s long list of responsibilities lies only one common thing – the need and the ability to make decisions, day in and day out.

A leader’s job, above all, it to make decisions – especially, difficult ones. And more often than not, these decisions have to be done before one is ready to do so, before one has gathered all the facts and has deliberated the pros and cons. More often than not, a leader has to rely on her/his own judgment, or what we sometimes call, intuition. Consequently, the one who makes the decision gets either the praise or the beating as a result, even though many others, no matter how anonymous they may be, have also participated in the decision-making process in one way or another.

One can either be a good or a bad leader, and this is entirely situational. It is also secondary.

Before one can fully take the role of leadership, one must be able to make difficult decisions first. One must be able to step in the middle of the circle, in complete acceptance of one’s accountability to the consequences that may follow – including the unforeseen ones.

Each of us has been entrusted with her/his own sword to cut through the fog of life, but only leaders dare use them.

No one can proceed in her/his own path without carving her/his own way through. Thus, cutting through the fog becomes imperative for all of us.

We can choose to either actively carve our path out or be shoved all the way through it – the decision is ours.

It’s a hero’s journey – all our lives are – because it’s the one that requires us to be in our full capacity. It’s where timelines are shrunk into one and all we have is the power of Now. It’s the journey which invites the I to step up and be seen. It’s where all our possibilities intersect and The Potential is maximized.

When we step up, wave our sword and slice through the fog ahead us, we are inevitably paving the way for others as well. And from a wider perspective we are all progressing towards one major path.

By cutting through it individually, we are also making the path more visible and more accessible for everyone.

Again, one doesn’t need to be in a position of leadership at a bigger, more recognized scale. By default, we’re already the leaders of our own lives. Inevitably so, we are always influencing each other’s preferences, decisions and behavior – continuously co-creating reality as we know it. We must take our place in co-creation since the reality that ends up manifesting is the reality we must also live in. May it be the reality that lifts us higher.