The Go-Getter Mindset

Creative Living, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, People & Relationships, The Self

lizmayvWhen you believe something is missing or needs to change – opt for the better way; don’t resort to complaining and feeling helpless – get started and do something about it. This may not entirely address the situation, but it’s a way to start the momentum in the direction you want it to go.

If you’re in the right place, with the right people, at the right time, and if your concerns make sense – your efforts will be met with support. If not then maybe it’s not the right time yet or maybe it’s better for you to simply move on.  Your brilliance and sincerity are better spent somewhere else.

No one will hand you want you want. Big girl, you gotta go get it.

 

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How to Simplify your Life 101

The Self

 

blackyellow1.Make your mind serve you. 

Overthinking is not the only culprit. How we think can also weigh us down. Self-loathing thoughts are a waste of time and energy – they don’t add value to our life, they don’t assist us with our goals and they even suck our spirits out.

2.Stragetize (don’t worry)

You have limited energy and time to think. Use them wisely. Instead of wasting them on worrying, utilize them in working on a strategy that is reasonable and relevant.

3.Focus on what truly matters to you. 

Only go for the things that move you forward in the direction you want to go. Stop doing things, attending events, that don’t add value to your life.

4. Make up your mind about pending matters. Resolve things as quickly as possible.

Don’t let these concerns squat in your mind and energy. They will diminish your brain power while not contributing anything.

Confront the truth as fast as you can and do something about it that will bring back your peace and power. Likewise, admit if something is beyond your bandwidth at the moment. Choose to let it go.

5.Get rid of things you don’t want to use anymore.

Throw out/give away clothes, things you’ve outgrown. Don’t let them eat up all the space that can be occupied by things that are relevant to you now. Things that excite you now, things that complement who you are right now.

6.Prioritize clarity and comfort.

Wear clothing that allows you freedom to be yourself and freedom to move how you want to. Pace yourself at work (I’ll be writing about this on a separate post pretty soon!). Clarify expectations in your relationships.

Don’t allow yourself to be distracted with things that you can actually do something about.

7. Ask for what you need and when you need it. Be as clear as possible in your request/s.

Learn how to be accountable for meeting your needs and asking for help when you have to. Give others a fair chance in meeting you halfway. Choose peace of mind by being transparent in a grown-up way.

8. Schedule everything!

This matters not only so we won’t forget to do what we are supposed to do but because plotting to-do’s in the calendar also provides us with clarity and fulfillment. It shows us which plans and target outcomes are possible and which are not. It gives us the confidence to follow-through our plan – and be in each moment fully.

9.Don’t do what you don’t have to do.

It sounds silly to say it because it’s so obvious yet it has to be mentioned. Many of us do things we actually can do without out of obligation or unhealthy habits.

10.Get clear  with your boundaries, at least with yourself.

You can’t always explain yourself to others and you don’t always have to. Boundaries are mostly for your benefit since they remind  you where you stand vis-a-vis your highest benefit. Having clear boundaries will make it easier for you to make decisions, including difficult ones.

Say No: Be a Catalyst

Authenticity, Life path, Manifestation, People & Relationships, The Self

Some things only become possible once we’re able to end others first.

lizmayvilleSometimes we need to step on the brakes. To walk out. Quit. Give it all up. Change our mind. Decide to go our own way even if we have to do it alone.

This starts with confronting the truth that we are simply not happy where are and where we are heading.

Even if everything else seems to be going well. The people around us are content. Even if we initially got what we’ve previously wanted.

When our spirit calls for us to go on a different direction, or even just to take a pause, we must step up to it. It probably is the time to regroup, to revisit our truths and reframe our intentions.

Likewise, the situation may be ripe for something new to be born, something many have been wanting, too. Maybe we’re simply being asked to play the role of a catalyst.

The Way to Live

Authenticity, Career, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

anyway

upI caught myself singing this line over and over again this morning. I didn’t even know what song it was or if it even existed to begin with (eventually I googled and found out there’s an actual song by Journey).

I’ve been getting really fired up in finding out the reason why I feel as if I am being redirected to a particular career path. I’ve not only been stressing myself over the reason but also on how to set goals for myself this time so as not to squander this opportunity and all the abundance it will bring. To my dismay, I couldn’t get the answer despite my efforts to “open” myself to it. All I felt was uncertainty – and panic.

This line of the song just answered the puzzle for me. It’s not unusual for me to get guidance from songs I randomly sing. It’s one of my subconscious’ ways of answering my questions. It made me realize that the reason why I couldn’t seem to answer my questions was because the questions themselves were not suitable for me.

I’ve been imposing on myself a particular approach that I’ve seen on others which may or may not have worked for them – having a list of goals they want to accomplish and coming up with a plan on how to achieve them. Pretty straight forward, a mainstream way of going about life.

I, on the other hand, do not subscribe to this approach at this point in my life. I did in the past and maybe I’ll do it again someday. But right now, what I truly feel is the most authentic way for me to live is to be present from moment to moment. What I’ll do next depends on what I am inspired to do in the next moment. I’ll figure it out as long as I am able to fully ground myself in the present. What I’ll do in each moment will have an impact – short term or long term, I won’t even know, but it will surely take me on a certain direction. It will surely lead me to accomplish things, to grow in a certain way, to create, to materialize things I desire, to make an impact bigger than my singular life.

In this approach, I don’t need to know all the details and I don’t need to come up with a list of goals to live a full life. In this approach, my dynamic list of values and principles is enough. My life will unfold on its own beautiful and unique way.

Any way we want to live our lives, that’s the way we need it – and that’s definitely the way to do it. It will continuously evolve so we must remain open to it.

This answer has brought peace to my heart. In case you’re bothered, I hope you find clarity and peace to yours, too. 🙂

You are not lost. We are not lost.

Creative Living, Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

lureYou may be confused at the moment. You may be in a foggy part of your path. You may be feeling lonely, probably you’re running out of faith in your tank, too. While I won’t pretend to know how exactly you must be feeling and what exactly you’re going through, ’cause I acknowledge the realness that each of our journey is unique, I want to extend my empathy and  best wishes to you as a kindred spirit.

Many people have accused me of not knowing what I really wanted with regards to my career and life path. Many people have withheld trust from me because of this perception. Many people belittled me. It went on for so long to the point that I started believing them.

But in the middle of my recent retreat, when the fog started to dissipate and I could have some clarity again, a knowing just sprouted out, like a tiny mouse that has been hiding simply to protect herself from the momentary chaos around her. I knew then with full certainty that it was not true that I didn’t know what I wanted. It was not true that I was intrinsically confused. And in fact, it was not true that those people who have accused me of not knowing what I wanted really believed in that –

They knew very well that I knew what I wanted but that it was simply not what I was pursuing.

Of course, they didn’t have any idea what it was that I wanted, but they’re pretty sure that it was not what they were offering me. They didn’t know why I was not pursuing what I wanted but surely, they’ve got all the reasons to not wanna work with me. My mind was somewhere else. That’s why they rejected me.

My issue was not the not-knowing but the suppressing of my own desires in the first place because I thought they’re too big, too impossible, too far for me to reach. So I put my focus on other things, I reached for the low-hanging fruits instead.

I was playing small. I didn’t even dare speak nor write about my desires. I simply let them float like clouds above my head as I walk through life half-awake.

There was no blueprint that I could use, no map to lead my way, no one I personally knew I could ask for guidance – these were the reasons why I refused to pursue my own path, refused to even own it to begin with.

You might be on the same boat and these might be some of your reasons, too. Yes, we may have forgotten what it was we were truthfully passionate about after pursuing something we have merely settled for, but I dare you to look inside yourself and realize that you know you are not confused. In fact, you very well know what’s gonna make you happy and what’s gonna enable you to live your life to the fullest. Maybe the answers are not what you expect from yourself, maybe they’re not what the people around you expect from you.

But this is the truth we all have to confront – that we won’t ever be able to pivot in the right direction if we don’t own these answers. We can’t move through the path of joy and fulfillment if we judge our own desires to begin with, if we feel unworthy of them, if we think they’re ridiculous or impossible.

We have to stop looking outside of ourselves for validation. We need to avoid comparing our dreams with those around us, or even with the people we look up to.

Each of us has a unique path of becoming. It is both our right and responsibility to claim it – to take it.

The path will unfold and our steps will be lighted once we say yes to it. All the other possible paths collapse through the power of our focus. It will be a path of uncertainty, exactly because it’s a new path – it’s ours alone. There will be ups and downs and bumps along the way like any trail of adventure, but each stone, each broken branch, each puddle of mud will only take us closer to where we wanna be. Even though we’re not there yet and it may take a while we can always rest in the knowing that we are not lost and our efforts are worthwhile.

 

An Ode to Free Will

Faith, Healing, Meditation/Visions, The Self

fernwaterThe force which allows us to have infinite power and freedom through our sheer free will, regardless of our faith or even the lack thereof,

The force which honors the inherent power and freedom that we have all inside, that is our divine right, something that have always existed beyond time,

Is absolutely not evil.

Is something that can be trusted.

Is something that deserves our unshakable, unwavering eternal devotion.

Evil is controlling and possessive. It is rooted on fear and lack. It doesn’t see anyone. It doesn’t trust anyone. The emptiness in its core is unfathomable.

But this force that is the complete opposite of evil shines so brightly that it’s even able to shine over the darkest depths where evil resides. For evil is the mere absence of light; where doors are shut and fists are clenched. Where separation breeds and expands.

Nothing is innately good or bad, because free will exists. We are the secret ingredient that brings meaning to any situation. The meaning we create brings all things to life.

We are the factor that matters. We are the only thing that prevails. Appearances may change, may mutate, may dissipate – but we remain steadfast in our evolution.

The gift of free will does not exist as a tool for self-flagellation. The Divine didn’t intend to berate us and humiliate us, and put the weight of the world on our shoulders. Free will is meant to simply make us…free – it’s that simple. It’s a reminder that we always have the power that we need at any given moment, regardless of how situations look like on the surface, regardless if we find ourselves alone or if we’ve got company.

Free will reminds us, unfailingly, of our divine essence. That we are all equal and we come from the same Source.

Free will is meant to be our compass, it’s meant to guide us back to our home which is Joy and Oneness.

May we all see the grace that free will is, and use it to heal and expand the world as we know it.

Potters, We All Are

Life path, Manifestation, The Self

handsThe process of clay pot making has always fascinated me. It seems so effortless, like when a ballerina gracefully glides on the stage. When I’m watching someone in the midst of it, I feel as though even I can do it, even without any sort of training at all.

I’ve only tried it once, about five years ago – and I sucked at it. The potter said that my hands were too hard, too intense that the pot always end up collapsing. She said that the key was to simply have the right amount of pressure, just enough to guide it into formation.

Isn’t clay pot making the same as shaping our own life?

The key is to apply just the right amount of pressure – not too light and not too hard – ’cause either way the pot will end up collapsing. Not taking the lead in our own life or forcing it to become something in particular may only sabotage its own becoming.

It also only makes sense to keep the spinning wheel moving, otherwise the pot will collapse, too, or it may not take its shape at all. Life will continue to usher us into further transformations naturally, unless we give up and choose to stop instead.

Likewise, from time to time, just the right amount of clay should be added to take its desired form and size – too little or too much may alter the output completely. Getting ourselves involved in too little or too much activity can either stall our growth or overwhelm us.

Finally, intention, and not force, is the gravity which pulls the clay pot together as a finished product. Our positive focus, our vision – not constant fear and worry – make our desired outcomes come to fruition.

By guiding the clay pot into its becoming we are letting its shape emerge, magically, from all the elements combined. By letting our life unfold on its own, we give ourselves the permission to go on a magical journey – both physical and spiritual – which takes us to a place we may not have been able to dream about to begin with. And this place – this magical place – is just a mediocre reflection of the great person we have become – the person we are actually inside.

The shape of the clay pot has already been there even before the clay pot emerged in the physical. Our most authentic self has already been there, too, in fact has always been there, through our Spirit, before we even incarnated in the physical and also after we fade out into the ethereal.

May we all keep our pottery game strong and fun!

 

xoxo

sd

On Leadership

Manifestation, People & Relationships, The Self

cocreation

girlsLeadership can manifest in a variety of ways, and probably, we almost always associate it with career, business, politics or any religious/spiritual movement. Not all of us will be put in those situations, though, neither do we need to be in order to be in a position of leadership.

By default, we’re already the leaders of our own lives. Inevitably so, we are always influencing each other’s preferences, decisions and behavior.

We define leadership in a range of responsibilities and character traits that we think are part of the package of what it means to be a leader.

I’ve had my own struggles when it comes to leadership. Not sure yet how it all began, or if its just an intrinsic part of my character, but I’ve always felt conflicted towards what I assumed were “persons of authority” – from my parents, to my older relatives, to my teachers, religious leaders, health practitioners, bosses. There’s a part of me who just couldn’t fully trust them. While my peers blindly obeyed their parents, my classmates befriended our teachers, and my colleagues befriended our bosses, I kept my distance and gravitated towards my own ground instead.

I have learned at a young age to not trust their opinions of me completely – regardless if they’re positive or negative. I just didn’t accept them at face value, and instead, relied on my own self-awareness and self-evaluation. I didn’t always question their opinions outwardly, but I made sure to rely on my own judgment as the final word. I paid attention, did my research and used my critical thinking.

I’ve had my own share of rebellions at each stage of my life, to varying degrees, and it hasn’t been a smooth ride, as those of you who’ve been on a similar path would surely know. I didn’t get fair treatment from teachers for refusing to act like their pet, I’ve had messy, antagonistic fights with my parents because of decisions I made which contradicted their advice, I’ve been overlooked for promotions at work because I wouldn’t wanna open up to my bosses, and yes – I’ve had a couple of police beatings, too, for choosing to stand up for my rights and principles.

It’s as if the world pushed me back the more I dared to stand up. I would get beaten whenever I opted to use my own mind. I was banished for merely embracing myself.

I have made, and continue to make, quite unpopular decisions – decisions that made me look bad to others and sometimes, most of all, to myself. I’ve made decisions that have created conflicts and enemies I never intended to create. I have polarized camps, stirred discourses to a boiling degree and pushed for decisive resolutions before everyone else was ready.

It didn’t even take me so long before I earned the status of The Bitch. When one dares to be authentic, especially when one is a woman, this would inevitably happen sooner than one might expect. On the other hand, it took me quite longer before I finally got the lesson behind my life-long struggle with leadership.

It has come full circle for me lately.  Life wanted me to learn that at the heart of each leader’s long list of responsibilities lies only one common thing – the need and the ability to make decisions, day in and day out.

A leader’s job, above all, it to make decisions – especially, difficult ones. And more often than not, these decisions have to be done before one is ready to do so, before one has gathered all the facts and has deliberated the pros and cons. More often than not, a leader has to rely on her/his own judgment, or what we sometimes call, intuition. Consequently, the one who makes the decision gets either the praise or the beating as a result, even though many others, no matter how anonymous they may be, have also participated in the decision-making process in one way or another.

One can either be a good or a bad leader, and this is entirely situational. It is also secondary.

Before one can fully take the role of leadership, one must be able to make difficult decisions first. One must be able to step in the middle of the circle, in complete acceptance of one’s accountability to the consequences that may follow – including the unforeseen ones.

Each of us has been entrusted with her/his own sword to cut through the fog of life, but only leaders dare use them.

No one can proceed in her/his own path without carving her/his own way through. Thus, cutting through the fog becomes imperative for all of us.

We can choose to either actively carve our path out or be shoved all the way through it – the decision is ours.

It’s a hero’s journey – all our lives are – because it’s the one that requires us to be in our full capacity. It’s where timelines are shrunk into one and all we have is the power of Now. It’s the journey which invites the I to step up and be seen. It’s where all our possibilities intersect and The Potential is maximized.

When we step up, wave our sword and slice through the fog ahead us, we are inevitably paving the way for others as well. And from a wider perspective we are all progressing towards one major path.

By cutting through it individually, we are also making the path more visible and more accessible for everyone.

Again, one doesn’t need to be in a position of leadership at a bigger, more recognized scale. By default, we’re already the leaders of our own lives. Inevitably so, we are always influencing each other’s preferences, decisions and behavior – continuously co-creating reality as we know it. We must take our place in co-creation since the reality that ends up manifesting is the reality we must also live in. May it be the reality that lifts us higher.

Two things: Don’t make it complicated. Update your OS.

Healing, Life path, Meditation/Visions, The Self

transformation

mountaintopJust a background for this post, I’ve recently been having issues with my laptop. For reasons I didn’t know back then, it started lagging and it won’t boot up and shut down properly. When the worst of it happened yesterday – it’s already been an hour and it still won’t shut down – I’ve decided to officially investigate what’s going on and solve the problem for good.

Like what people on this day and age usually do when they have questions, I went to Google. Shortly, I found myself immersed in all sorts of online fora and tutorials on YouTube, multiple tabs open while at the same time I was tinkering a bit with the settings of my laptop like a good online student.

Internet peeps suggested really complex and highly technical steps to follow to solve the problem. Despite my efforts to do my research, I was actually feeling lazy, so I simply ignored most of what I read and watched – I would skip to another website, another video, another article when the suggestion got way past three sentences.

As I was half-paying attention to the settings of my laptop, I bumped into this portion where I simply had to click a button so it can scan for issues which may have been preventing the OS to upgrade itself automatically. I didn’t even know such a solution existed – since apparently I was not that familiar with my own device and none of the online fora or videos talked about it. I was up for trying anything that might solve the problem – I was desperate – so even though I wasn’t familiar with it I clicked on the button. In a short while the process has already been completed. A message told me so. It seemed too simple and easy for me – but I took a leap of faith and restarted my laptop, anyway, half-expecting it will be back to normal. I told myself that if it would still take more than 2 minutes to shut down then the problem still persisted.

It shut down in a couple of seconds.

An OS upgrade was simply what it needed. I didn’t have to do anything complicated. I didn’t have to consult “the experts”. I just had to let my intuition guide me. And boy, I didn’t know I was a genius *winks.

I knew the Divine was on to something, and I was not gonna let it go to waste, so I posed a question. “What message are you trying to send me?”

I got this long and beautiful answer:

 

Part 1: Stop making things unnecessarily complicated

sleepingYou and your culture has a habit of making things unnecessarily complicated. You have this illusion that acquiring more information is always a good thing, that it always leads to something better. You “Google” this, you “Google” that. Eventually you are faced with all these chunks of information and infinite tabs open, both literally on your devices and in your minds.

What you fail to notice is that pieces of information that are not relevant to you will simply stay stuck in your mind. Information is energy, too, and energy has to flow.

If you don’t know how to transform the energy that is information, if you don’t know what to do about it, it can end up poisoning you or sucking the life out of you – including your own brilliance.

It can cloud your good judgment and your ideas that are actually relevant for you at each specific moment. Solutions naturally rise to the surface of your mind, but with all the clutter and mud, this would be difficult.

Keep your mind clear and simple. The information that you need is always already there inside you.

 

Part 2: Why you need to upgrade your devices’ OS

lostUpgrading a software, including your own devices’ operating system takes time, this reason alone usually makes people postpone it. They don’t wanna bother being away from their devices’ even for a few minutes. They think since it has worked for them so far it should still work fine for the next months and years. They’re even given the option to do the upgrading when they’re supposed to be sleeping during wee hours, but still, they choose not to. They brush the reminder off like it’s from their annoying mothers. They move on with their lives.

However, time always comes, when upgrading the OS becomes inevitable. The device lags, it crashes again and again – especially during times when they’re in the middle of something important like saving a file or cancelling an email or talking with an angry client – or it won’t boot or shut down properly.

Eventually most of these people will get it; they would simply want to end their misery and they know upgrading the OS is the only solution.

Some of them don’t wanna upgrade because they’re contented with how things currently are (yes, I’m talking to YOU). They don’t believe that the upgrade will provide them with a better user experience. Aside from that, they also don’t want to give more storage to the OS ’cause, duh, they’re saving the space for their selfies and downloaded baby animal videos.

 

Part 3: Upgrade the OS of YOU

undressMost of you are behaving this way towards yourselves. You know you gotta upgrade the operating system of YOURSELF yet you keep on skipping on it. You brush the reminder off from your Spirit. You ignore the signs that your existing OS really needs updating.

You try to live with the bumps of your life – rationalizing them simply as “shit happens” -, you stand passively as your good relationships fall apart while you cling to the toxic ones, you suffer from health crises, you slowly sink in to depression but you’re too used to feeling that way that you don’t see anything wrong with it – again it’s just life happening – you’re miserable at work that you’d rather die than do it everyday for the rest of your life – but you still won’t dare do something about it, your finances evaporate for reasons that don’t even nourish you or make you genuinely happy but you keep spending more, you start to think that people are monsters and everybody is out to get you and eat your heart so you lock yourself in, you isolate yourself, and you don’t dare ask anybody for help.

Eventually, to some, the moment comes when you just get tired of this downward spiral. Eventually it becomes too painful, too unbearable for you that you finally wanna to get out of it. Hallelujah, you finally want Change.

You finally wake up to the fact that your OS is outdated. Your outdated habits, beliefs, interests, choices and relationships float to the surface.

While you may not have a button that you can simply click and the upgrade will automatically take place even when you’re asleep, there is actually one decisive step that you can take.

Say “YES” to Transformation.

Decide that you want it, that you need it. Flip that switch, press that button in your mind that says you wanna move forward and never look back. Accept the invitation of your Spirit to start the upgrade. Commit to that irreversible change that you want.

You don’t even need to know the details of what’s gonna change and how it will come about. You don’t get to see what literally happens during a system upgrade on a device, right? Some steps have to be done on your behalf, like clicking buttons, yes, but you are not required to actively participate all the time in its duration. In fact, you can even sleep on it for the most part, or do something else while your device does its job.

A similar thing happens when you upgrade YOU. For most part of your spiritual journey, you are simply being led by the Divine, and miracles occur for you and IN you as you move along. No need for you to keep on checking, “How’s it going? Is it done yet? Will it be over soon? Is there anything I should do to speed things up?”, in fact this behavior only stalls the process. This makes you distracted and this makes the Divine’s work all bumpy.

For the most part what’s actually required of you is to simply…surrender.

When you say “yes” to the transformation and commit to it, trust that it will happen the best way it should happen. Trust that the changes are meant to give you a better experience of yourself and life.

The truth is, just like a device’s OS upgrade, this process is already over before you even choose to begin it. The BEST output has already been created, the BEST ending has already been achieved. The Divine has already selected the BEST way it can unfold. This is not a trial-and-error fling, we’re not on Beta either. We endorse it because we are sure of it. It is irreversible. It is groundbreaking.

All you have to do is decide. Accept the invitation of your Spirit. Commit to the Transformation.

Meet people where They are

People & Relationships

helping

couple2This post was inspired by one of my mother’s closest friends. You see, my mother has always been baffled as to why he won’t accept the help she’s been offering him. She thinks it’s because of his foolish pride. She pities him, yes, and she also looks down on how his life turned out to be.

My mother has sincere intentions for him, and to me, she’s one of the most generous people out there. What strikes me, though, is the disconnect between them. My mother thinks his pride is out of place, on the other hand, I see him as someone who simply prefers to live his life by his own rules. He’s a free bird.  He thinks that any help being offered comes with a leash – and there is also some truth to that. Who can blame him?

Freedom comes with a price – and sometimes it doesn’t look all pretty. All of us who have chosen this path of freedom in one way or another know that we need to give up certain comforts to be free.

To others, including my mom, it only looks foolish. Why would someone prefer that? To someone who depends on human connections and validation for spiritual nourishment, this really won’t make sense. But we aren’t wired the same way. Some people thrive on independence and solitude.

It’s always a good thing to offer help to someone out of sincere intentions. What will happen to us as a society if we don’t have generous people around?

But help won’t be taken, and won’t be of much use if we don’t meet people where they are; if we don’t offer the kind of help they need.

If we really want to help others, and we know we can, we should see them for who they are first – dignified, free and loved.

We cannot help others in genuine ways if we are looking down on them. We have to honor their principles and support them in their dreams. We cannot go around imposing our opinions of what is right or wrong and expect to be trusted.

We cannot make helping others a project –  just to get that kind of feeling good that we believe in.

And if the help we offer is not taken, we should have the maturity to respect that decision. This doesn’t diminish anybody. Even the Divine respects our freedom to choose and ask for help on our own terms – exactly because we are entitled to the life we are living, and we are enough and perfect as we are. We should have the same attitude towards each other as well.