People · Relationships · Self

Intro-Extro

Extroverts usually ask us introverts why are we silent/not speaking in a tone of disturbance  but with superficial concern.

When extroverts ask me that question I feel an urge to EITHER punch them in the face OR ask them why are they talking so much.

That question would surely sound absurd to most extroverts – but for introverts like me, it’s a mystery  how extroverts can speak so much even about things that are pointless. Why do they choose to waste their vocal power and others’ airtime to to senseless chatter?

For sure, it’s also a mystery to them how us, introverts choose to speak rarely. Well, the reason is because what we say is usually rooted in intentions – we don’t just speak for the sake of speaking – and we don’t always choose to speak our mind because we don’t have to. The truth is it’s better to keep most of our thoughts to ourselves and not think out loud all the time.

Activities · Self

What are your TOP 3 superpowers?

I really like asking people this question. It sounds fun, engaging and insightful. I’m curious not only with the actual answers – but mostly with the internal process of how a person goes through in picking out her/his top 3 superpowers. The answers can give you a glimpse of a person’s values and how she/he defines success.

My TOP 3 superpowers are:

Openness. My long-time motto in life has been: Life is a series of firsts. This basically explains the variety of interests that I have and the life paths I’ve chosen to go through. For some people and in some instances the sketch of my life would simply look chaotic – and me as someone who doesn’t know what she really wants.

Well, for sure it’s also true – but isn’t that normal? Most of us are not sure of what we want to do and usually that sets us up for a lifetime of adventures and breakthroughs. For the most part of my life I’ve been driven by my curiosity – and my desire to master something I totally had no idea about/I haven’t done before. This has led me to discover that changing our course – and sometimes overhauling our lives – is not just necessary, in fact, it’s easy with the right frame of mind and the experience to back us up.

I can choose to see my curious nature as a liability – or an asset. I choose to see it as an asset, instead – in fact, as one of my best assets – grabbing the top spot in my top 3 superpowers. I am able to expand fast because of my openness, and while it’s definitely not always rainbows and sunshine, it enables me to live a life with zero to no regrets at all.

Insight. As an introvert, I am naturally inclined to sit still, observe my surroundings and keep my thoughts to myself. Since I remain silent more often than not, I am able to spend those countless hours and fleeting seconds taking even the subtlest of cues in. I feel my surroundings, I try to understand why people behave the way they do, I always naturally look between the lines – and I rarely tell anyone about my findings. I rarely give my judgments unless I know I have to. These habits have enabled me to create an inner world that is authentic to my spirit – and that is built on nothing but spiritual strength. Inside my world I don’t sugarcoat, I don’t project – all I do is get real and raw. There is no need to pretend.

Likewise, because I naturally do these things, anyway – events and people don’t surprise me much. I kind of can read outcomes before they happen, not because I have advanced senses than the average person, but only because I pay more focused attention even when I practically don’t have to. I’ve tried comparing my insightful/intuitive skills  a few times with those who professionally work as psychics. I have proven that we just had different ways of accessing the same kinds of insights/information, but our abilities are pretty much the same (and I won’t even be considered a psychic by any means). There have been countless instances, too, when people have delivered news to me to which they expected that I would naturally be surprised – but since I was able to sense them beforehand, the news didn’t surprise me at all (and I had to pretend I was surprised just so I won’t look like a psychopath).

My power of insight is an asset because a.) I can prepare for most things and change the direction of how things are going if need be – in short, I have more control of what usually would be out of people’s control b.) I don’t have any problems with giving an honest feedback (especially to myself), when asked for my opinion/when necessary.

Self-awareness. When I was younger, I didn’t now how to use my self-awareness to my benefit – and it lead to all sorts of evil instead like self-doubt, self-criticism and self-destruction. Through the past decades of my life though, I’ve gradually learned how to master it and use it for beneficial outcomes. My self-awareness have held me back countless times in making decisions that won’t serve me, in  engaging in conversations that would be a waste of energy, time and good intentions, in committing to relationships that are not gonna support my truths or are downright toxic to me and in pursuing activities that would only give me superficial rewards.

My self-awareness has enabled me to keep and grow the relationships in my life that matter to me. It has enabled me to keep my life in harmony and my health always a priority.

Self-awareness is vital because without it nothing we do will be genuine and sustainable. Without it, we will feel lost and anxious – forever guessing our truths and what should we do next. Without self-awareness we cannot rely on ourselves – and no one can rely on us – to come up with evaluations and decisions that are borne out of our own wisdom and convictions.

Those are my TOP 3 superpowers which I have honed for decades and countless challenges. What are yours?

Self · Work

I’m ready now for a life of Joy

It would be absurd to think that many of us are acting against our own joys – but we do. We don’t follow the path where our greatest fulfillment lies. Instead, we choose to live a mediocre life of shoulds and that’s-impossibles. We choose to struggle just to keep our heads above water instead of mastering the art of floating – so we could also enjoy the air and the sky, and our own reveries.

There is jewel behind learning how to hustle and get by – through this way of living we are able to squeeze out who we really are and what we are good at. We also learn universal truths such as unconditional love and infinite abundance. We find our way to our own spiritual core. We transcend our perceived human limitations.

However, going through the same struggles have led me to realize that the point of life is not suffering. We are here to enjoy and have fun! Struggles only make us more appreciative of all the goodness and beauty around us and inside us.

I used to have a limited mindset – and I didn’t know I had it until now, now that I’m open to release it. I am ready now to a lifestyle that I really want – and that I know each of us deserves right into our core.

I am ready now to a life of JOY. I want to fill each of my days doing the things that bring me joy and that add value to others as well. I am releasing all the activities that are eating up my spirit and wasting my skills.

In line with this realization, I realized that we can’t manifest desires that we are not ready for because manifesting them will simultaneously add responsibilities on our shoulders, too – we must first be willing to expand before our desires can fit perfectly in our world. Manifesting our desires need courage and assertiveness, too – it’s our divine responsibility to fight for what we want and what we think will make us happy. No one is responsible for our own happiness but ourselves.

So the road has led me here, at this point in time. I say it again – I am ready now for a life of Joy. I want to fill each day with things I am happy to do. I want to start living a life that is completely authentic – a life that reflects who I really am and all that is true for me.

If I am happy – the others around me are gonna be happy/ier, too – and this can send ripples across the Universe. I entrust my hearts’ desires to your all powerful hands, Universe. You know what is best for me and for everyone.

Activities · Self

Meltdowns and breakthroughs

I was sitting in the bus yesterday on my commute to work. Suddenly, I realized that the storm was over. The heavy clouds parted and the sky was clear again that the sunlight can pass through.

I asked myself what happened these past few months. Why did I need to go through those “meltdowns” in all areas of my life.

My logical mind told me that anybody who will go through all of that will probably breakdown, too – LOL. Actually, looking back it totally made sense. Sometimes, no matter how you try to achieve inner balance and calm – there’s really no way to protect yourself from life overwhelming you. It’s true what they say, “when it rains, it pours”.

It’s also true that many times, things just resolve on their own. We end up hurting ourselves because we want to control external events so much.

The chaotic events of the recent months calmed down. It took me a while to see that and adjust my perspective. All I actually did was kept my wits and braved myself enough to go through the whirlwind. It’s insane and I was cursing the entire time. Now I feel like the Universe is giving me a trophy and a big round of applause in the form of all the abundance that I have.

I realized I need to go through that to sharpen my perspective – to learn how to appreciate the truth of my life’s juiciness and all the love that is there. By going through all of that I did not just regain my trust – but I am a lot more trusting now of myself, others and the Universe as a whole – than I was before.

Sometimes, the Universe really has to break us up in order to bring us to another level of wholeness. It’s mind and spirit-fucking yes, but trust me on this – just get your shit together and brace through the storms in your life – it will be worth it.

Activities · People · Relationships · Self · Work

My way to Abundance

Abundance is not just having all your needs and wants met. It’s not just thriving in your own world. I’ve realized that abundance is also the ability to see how the people around you are thriving – and how their abundance relates to you/also becomes possible because of you.

Sometimes we underestimate our impact on others. We don’t know that how we see ourselves, how we see the world, how we live our lives send a ripple effect across all those around us – and even beyond.

I want to be abundant mainly because I want to give back – I want to step up and be an “angel” to others – especially those who’ve been my angels, too.

I want to be abundant because I also want to shower abundance to others especially when they least expect it – because I want them to feel that they are always taken care of, that they can always trust the Universe to provide them with their needs, that it’s true that you reap what you sow. I want to give back because there have been countless times when I received grace when I least expected it – when I least deserved it.

I feel abundant when I don’t have to take a pause and calculate – before I give. I want to give without worrying about my own needs. I want to give when I want to give. I want to give without asking for anything in return. I want to have more and be more so I can share more of what I have and who I am.

The Universe has graced my life with so much abundance and unconditional, immeasurable love. I’m ready now. It’s time for me to be a part of that cycle and this time to be the one who’s on the other end, reaching out her hand to those in need of some support. I want to be one of Universe’s many helping hands.

Activities · Art · Self · Work

On Passion and Money

Not everything we’re passionate about are meant to be turned/can be turned into a financial resource. Many things we are interested with/naturally good at are better off untamed, without any pressure to become anything more.

While it’s definitely awesome to do what we love full time, sometimes the only way through modern life is to have a day job while not giving up the things that bring us joy.

I saw this happen with my art. A couple of years ago I tried to take my visual art “to the next level”. I wanted it to become a financial resource for me and not just a hobby. It definitely squeezed everything in me just to do that and I’ve never been so prolific in producing art. I had a blast and I felt satiated in a way because I just accomplished one of my greatest dreams. Along the way I had to admit though that I couldn’t turn it into a profitable business not because it didn’t have the potential, but because its sole purpose in my life was to bring me joy.

By pressuring my art to become something other than its purpose I was sucking the life and magic out of it. I was also putting a burden onto myself. I had to give it up and kept on with my search for my next day job.

Well, looking at the big picture, it’s not so bad having a day job and a separate life of passionate pursuits. Sometimes it’s the only thing that we can do, anyway, to keep our passions alive. I just gave up the vision of turning my art into a profitable career/business, but I didn’t give up my commitment to a life of creativity and play.

I have a similar view of my writing as well. A few times I thought of taking it “to the next level” and making a career out of coaching/personal development. But then I would think that the major reason why I can continuously write and reflect is because I don’t have the pressure to do so.  If I turn it into something that I no longer do just for myself, I’m afraid that I will lose its essence – and my mojo, too.

I don’t believe that I’m wasting my skills simply by not turning these passions into a profitable business/career. I keep on creating, anyway. My passions benefit me and nourish my spirit, and those reasons alone are a great way of using them.

Activities · People · Self · Work

How invalidation has helped me become better at what I choose to do

For sure each of us has this familiar story: You work hard on something for months or years on end only to be invalidated or totally discredited. Sometimes, colleagues would steal your ideas and they would get the accolades, other times your great work and development would simply get unnoticed and worst is when despite all evidences that you’re doing well or you’ve produced tangible great results you’ll be told you’re not good enough right in your face and that what you’re doing is unimpressive or totally unworthy of reward.

I’ve had my own share of all sorts of invalidation since I was a kid. I would say half of the time it’s because of my introversion and half of it is because I simply display this aura of not giving a fuck to other people’s validation of me or the lack thereof.

I wouldn’t be a hypocrite though and say that I don’t feel hurt when my hard work and contribution go unnoticed and when others get credit for what they do and who they are. I won’t say I don’t get hurt when people look down on me because I’m an introvert and I hate small talks, even though I can pull it off, too and be awesome at it if I push myself to. It sucks to be in those situations.

On the other hand, though, because of those experiences I’ve learned not to depend on other people’s validation in doing great work and in pushing myself to be better. I’ve learned to have other means of getting the kick that I need. I just strive to be good at what I do because I love the process of mastering something.

Because I have learned not to rely on compliments and rewards to be good at something, I’ve also learned how not to be devastated by criticisms when they strike me.

I can still remember a particular incident when I was 9 nine years old, and was at the top of my class of around 200 students. There was a time when a classmate of mine and I both got perfect scores in a written activity in our English subject. The activity required objective answers so there was no way we could have different answers. My teacher asked to take a look at our work sheets. After taking a quick look at my classmate’s work sheet, she told her “Very good!”, and my classmate picked up her sheet and went back to her seat. I quickly stood up and handed her my sheet when it was my turn to do so. She didn’t even really looked at it and then she told me without even looking at me, “It’s so-so.” I couldn’t on earth make sense of her remark. My classmate and I both had the same answers but I didn’t know how could she give different comments on each of our work.

I wasn’t really hurt about what she did. There were these thoughts/feelings I had instead: 1.) I have concluded that some adults were just plain absurd and stupid., 2.) My work and myself will not be evaluated fairly all the time and that’s not my fault, 3.) Competing with others was simply not my thing. I didn’t have any interest on it. I was indifferent. It was senseless for me. 4.) I won’t ever be able to please everyone despite doing my very best – and that although I could get unfair evaluations from others, it’s really not something I should take personally.

I didn’t let that incident derail me or put a blow on my self-esteem. It didn’t affect my perseverance or passion in learning. I kept on acing my studies until I graduated my grade school – and until I graduated college, actually. I just didn’t pay so much attention to others’ evaluation of me. What’s interesting though, was that this classmate of mine who was used to getting compliments, eventually dropped out of our school and transferred to a new school simply because she couldn’t accept the fact that she cannot beat me – and other top students in our batch – which caused her embarrassment and led to her low self-esteem.

I felt sorry for her because she has put too much emphasis on the value other people placed on her instead of rooting for her own intrinsic and indestructible value. She was a smart, hardworking and nice student. I saw her as a friend. I liked hanging out with her because she’s fun and really nice. Surely, she had become successful in whichever career she chose to pursue.  It’s just sad what happened to her at that time.

I didn’t know that I’d be able to keep on coming back to that experience and use that in times when all I can rely on was my own self-belief. I didn’t know it would be so valuable to learn that at a young age.

I recently experienced something similar and instead of feeling low, I just recollected that memory and the lessons I got from it. Now I’m able to brush off what happened and just laugh at it. It’s a great feeling to be able to transcend those ego-based rewards and see the subtle truth behind it.

Activities · Self · Work

The life-long search is worth it.

My partner and I were talking about careers a few days ago. He mentioned having this conversation with his friend in which they posed the question, “How are we going to survive working 8-10 hours a day until we’re 60?”. I was eagerly waiting for their answers in the hopes of hearing some new wisdom. I asked him like a pumped up kid, “So what was your answer?”, to which he simply replied, “Nothing. We thought maybe we’re gonna get used to it.”

My spirit sank.

Then I replied, “No. I think we should continuously work towards finding meaning in our life and creating a meaningful career for ourselves. It may not be easy and it may take years but it’s worth it. I know if we continue with our search, eventually we’ll get there.”

And each tiny cell of my body really believed in that.

I’m suddenly reminded of the meditation I did last weekend. My higher self told me that now is the time for me to open my heart to the Universe magic and help. She said that the next right move for me is to step into my own greatness. She told me that if I follow what my intuition tells me – I will never fail in what I choose to do simply because it will open new doors for me going to where I should be. The most important thing is that I’m in the right path.

I am a believer of the journey and the worthiness of going through our life path. I know that when it feels like we are not there yet we must not despair as long as we are continuously inching our way towards it. All the challenges, lessons and gifts that we get along our way will arm us to fulfill our most important work when we finally manifest it.

This search for meaning may bring us a lot of frustration – but there is just no better way to live. I cannot accept a life of mediocrity and settling down for what is obvious and mundane. Doing that is synonymous to self-defeat and suicide.

People · Relationships · Self

Each relationship runs its own course

The other day I asked my higher self why despite working on my relationship with this particular person (I’m not talking about my life partner), why won’t it lead to more affection and more intimacy?

That’s what this post is about.

My higher self gave me this profound answer:

Each relationship runs its own course. Achieving complete connection between two people doesn’t always translate to more affection and more intimacy. It doesn’t mean you’re gonna be sharing more of yourselves or having more fun and meaningful experiences together. In some relationships, complete connection manifests in calmness, in the absence of conflict (when there used to be a lot of it), in the absence of the desire to control the other to adhere to one’s expectations. Sometimes complete connection simply means honoring the differences between the two of you and respecting the uniqueness of the other. Sometimes, two people simply have more differences than similarities that sharing more experiences together is more of a struggle than something which happens naturally.

I’ve always wanted my relationship with this person to be full of sharing and understanding. I want us to help each other go through our lives and achieve what we define for ourselves as success. But the more I struggle for that to happen the more that I feel frustrated. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that the idea of what our relationship could be is just and will remain to be a fantasy. Maybe it’s never meant to be that way. Maybe how we are at present is how it’s all ever going to be and that our relationship has ran its own course. I should be at peace with it and stop myself from trying to get more out of it/or stop myself from pushing it to be something it’s not and will never be.