You are not lost. We are not lost.

Creative Living, Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

You may be confused at the moment. You may be in a foggy part of your path. You may be feeling lonely, probably you’re running out of faith in your tank, too. While I won’t pretend to know how exactly you must be feeling and what exactly you’re going through, ’cause I acknowledge the realness that each of our journey is unique, I want to extend my empathy and  best wishes to you as a kindred spirit.

Many people have accused me of not knowing what I really wanted with regards to my career and life path. Many people have withheld trust from me because of this perception. Many people belittled me. It went on for so long to the point that I started believing them.

But in the middle of my recent retreat, when the fog started to dissipate and I could have some clarity again, a knowing just sprouted out, like a tiny mouse that has been hiding simply to protect herself from the momentary chaos around her. I knew then with full certainty that it was not true that I didn’t know what I wanted. It was not true that I was intrinsically confused. And in fact, it was not true that those people who have accused me of not knowing what I wanted really believed in that –

They knew very well that I knew what I wanted but that it was simply not what I was pursuing.

Of course, they didn’t have any idea what it was that I wanted, but they’re pretty sure that it was not what they were offering me. They didn’t know why I was not pursuing what I wanted but surely, they’ve got all the reasons to not wanna work with me. My mind was somewhere else. That’s why they rejected me.

My issue was not the not-knowing but the suppressing of my own desires in the first place because I thought they’re too big, too impossible, too far for me to reach. So I put my focus on other things, I reached for the low-hanging fruits instead.

I was playing small. I didn’t even dare speak nor write about my desires. I simply let them float like clouds above my head as I walk through life half-awake.

There was no blueprint that I could use, no map to lead my way, no one I personally knew I could ask for guidance – these were the reasons why I refused to pursue my own path, refused to even own it to begin with.

You might be on the same boat and these might be some of your reasons, too. Yes, we may have forgotten what it was we were truthfully passionate about after pursuing something we have merely settled for, but I dare you to look inside yourself and realize that you know you are not confused. In fact, you very well know what’s gonna make you happy and what’s gonna enable you to live your life to the fullest. Maybe the answers are not what you expect from yourself, maybe they’re not what the people around you expect from you.

But this is the truth we all have to confront – that we won’t ever be able to pivot in the right direction if we don’t own these answers. We can’t move through the path of joy and fulfillment if we judge our own desires to begin with, if we feel unworthy of them, if we think they’re ridiculous or impossible.

We have to stop looking outside of ourselves for validation. We need to avoid comparing our dreams with those around us, or even with the people we look up to.

Each of us has a unique path of becoming. It is both our right and responsibility to claim it – to take it.

The path will unfold and our steps will be lighted once we say yes to it. All the other possible paths collapse through the power of our focus. It will be a path of uncertainty, exactly because it’s a new path – it’s ours alone. There will be ups and downs and bumps along the way like any trail of adventure, but each stone, each broken branch, each puddle of mud will only take us closer to where we wanna be. Even though we’re not there yet and it may take a while we can always rest in the knowing that we are not lost and our efforts are worthwhile.

 

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Jesus reincarnated in my life – to literally Sleep in my bedroom

Faith, Life path, The Self

​I’ve been berating myself lately for taking the retreat I knew I needed, too. I’ve been feeling anxious; going back and forth in my mind, obsessing on finding new resolutions, new action points that could push me forward in my path. I couldn’t keep myself from asking the Universe, “What’s next? What should I be doing at this point?”

All I’ve been getting was the guidance to stay still, to allow myself to go through this process and above all, to have more patience.

Maybe the Universe knew that all its past efforts were no longer enough to hold me together. I remained anxious. So it sent me a more lasting, more concrete and a more compelling ​(and really funny) ​reminder.

Yesterday, as I was walking towards my bedroom, coming out from the bathroom, my view somehow brushed over the top of an old bookshelf. At first I thought my mind was just playing tricks on me. But ​as soon as ​I got closer to confirm what I thought I had seen, ​I knew I was right – on top was a sculpture of Jesus, sleeping like a baby.

I was raised a Catholic, and all my life the images I’ve mostly seen of J​esus were him crucified on the cross, risen from the dead, preaching in public or making miracles. So just imagine my disbelief and amusement when I saw this sculpture.

I’m not religious, but I have a personal affinity with stories about him. I think he’s a very wise and kind person. He’s someone I can be friends with, someone I can trust.

“How could it be there all this time and I haven’t even noticed? Where did this come from? And how come I noticed it now?”, were my initial thoughts.

Two seconds later though,​ I was already grabbing him by his tummy. I kidnapped Jesus and put him in the altar in my bedroom where my “good-vibes things” chill side-by-side. And he is, literally, the most chill one there now.

Since then every time I start to feel anxious again and lie in bed fully awake – I look at Jesus in complete surrender, trusting that he’s safe to take a rest as long as he needs to.

The Universe’s reminder can never be more clear than this.

How to handle Stress? Hold a space for Grace and unconditional Love

Faith, Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

We get cranky when we’re stressed out. We become more needy. We have less patience. We tend to have a distorted view towards the people around us. We’re more likely to think they’re insensitive, uncaring – selfish.  This can crystallize into tiny resentments that have a chance of clumping together as time passes by. This can harden our heart.

It has been pretty stressful individually for me and for my SO these past few months. Since we are geographically apart, we are required to deal with our issues mostly on our own. There are delays in communication not only because of our daily schedule but due to the time difference between us. There were times when I worried that I was not doing enough for him, that maybe he didn’t feel my love and presence. I would have those worries because there have been times when I had those thoughts, too, when I assumed he’s not being “involved enough” with what I was going through. But eventually I’ve realized that nobody else can fight our battles for us. Furthermore, the truth is, he’s always present enough with me through thick and thin.

Today, I woke up stressed, probably because I slept stressed out, too. But today I did something different. Instead of letting myself fall off that downward spiral, I took a pause and listened to myself instead.

That’s when I knew that what we need the most when we’re stressed out is Compassion. We need to be especially compassionate with ourselves and with others in the midst of stress. We don’t need to focus more on solving the issue that’s causing our stress, particularly when the situation is beyond our control. But what we can always do is to be compassionate.

What’s gonna help us and those we care about is to be validated and not judged.

What we need is for someone – and this can be ourselves – to hold a space for us when we can just be enveloped in the warmth of unconditional care.

Sometimes our strong desire to solve an issue only hurts us more, sometimes it only breeds more insecurity and despair.

Sometimes this also only keeps us away from our loved ones. When a person we care about is suffering, and we can’t stand seeing them that way, we tend to jump into conclusions and end things for them or expect them to resolve the matter immediately. This attitude might only make them feel misunderstood and judged. Sometimes the best thing we can do is to simply be there for them during the rough times and get our empathy across.

My SO is actually good at this. He’s internally strong enough to remain present with me as I go through difficulties, without having the desire to control my emotions or my behavior, or to fix the issues himself. He simply comforts me and makes sure that I go back to a lighter perspective. He assures me that things are always working out perfectly, no matter how things may look at the moment.

Personally, I think at the core of all of this is a bigger lesson the Universe wants us to imbibe – that we are graced all the time, in good times and in bad times. That there is, in fact, goodness in all kinds of situation, and we’ll always find it if we choose to – and that we’ll always feel the Divine’s unconditional love if we let it in.

Our Door to the Divine

Creative Living, Faith, Life path, Life's Work, Manifestation, The Self

My Creative Process

Creative inspiration and divine guidance come from the same Source. They are made of the same energy.

As a visual artist and writer, my encounters with creative inspiration go something like this –

An idea, almost always already a full-blown one, knocks on my “energetic door”. It wants to be born into the physical world and this can only be made possible through a channel capable of shaping it into material form. When I say “yes” to it and let it in, the actual work starts pretty quickly afterwards. It translates to a drawing, a painting, a poem, or an essay, since these are the things I am attuned to producing.  This is the same process I’ve been going through for years, which by now, has enabled me to collate a body of work that bears my unique imprint.

I said that it almost always arrives at my door as a full-blown idea because more often than not I feel as though the concept has already been finished even before I do the actual work, for instance, before I even dip the brush into the paint. I know it may sound weird to some people, but I don’t see any other way to put it. Almost always I feel as though I simply give birth to it to material form. Its essence has already been completed somewhere unseen.

 

We are all Channels

There are many channels in the physical world – it can be a human, a group of humans, animals, the weather, nature itself, and even the little seemingly mundane coincidences that happen everywhere, all the time, among others.

The chosen channel only depends on what kind of idea or energy is knocking on the door of the material world.

As humans with free will, when an idea knocks on our door, we can either say “yes”, let it in and do the work, or say “no” and go back to sleep, or to whatever it is we choose to do instead. Due to our signature energy that we emit all the time, we keep on attracting creative inspirations day in, day out.

 

Our Door to the Divine

What many of us don’t realize is that saying “yes” to creative inspiration is actually our door to the Divine. When we let it in our world, when we agree to be a channel by which it gets manifested into the physical, we actually welcome the Divine into our life. We agree to become an instrument for its creative and transcendental power. This is how all things have been made possible – everything that we see, utilize and enjoy around us.

People of different cultures have named it in various ways – some call it God, some call it Source, some call it the Universe, some call it Love, and the list goes on. However we prefer to perceive it, it’s the same Force, and the name we give it is secondary. What matters is how we use it to shape our lives and the lives of others. What matters is who we become because of our belief in it.

When we say “yes” to it and do the work that entails us, we are in for the ride of our life.

It’s where we learn about our creative power and our true divine nature. It’s where we remember the workings of Life. It’s where we remember how to keep our connection with the Divine open regardless of external circumstances. It’s where we contribute to the evolution of All That Is.

 

Our Work is our Anchor

The kind of creative work that we do is our anchor to our divine nature. It’s what keeps us grounded to the Source’s universal purpose of joy, oneness and expansion. This is one of the ways by which we let “love” in our lives, and as a result, we become its dutiful servants.

As we get better in forging this connection, we become more capable of letting it flow through us in all kinds of situation.

We become more receptive to how love wants to manifest and the ways by which we are being called to be its instrument. We could feel it “knocking” on our energetic door/ our heart, asking us to help manifest it into actual form. This could translate into a variety of ways; either be by turning an idea into an actual object, it could be by responding to a stressful situation in a gentle way, it could be by being strong for others, it could be by taking care of ourselves, it could be by sharing what we know, it could be by making a difficult decision or by going towards a certain path, among others.

 

A Friendly Note

This energy is always knocking on our door – sometimes we receive it through our mind, sometimes through our heart or even through our gut. Most of the time, it reaches us as a subtle energy, more like a hint of curiosity. But really, it can come in whichever way that we are most attuned to at any given moment. In these initial phases, especially if we are still getting familiar with the process, we must at least not be so quick in dismissing it as some irrelevant, random thought or feeling. We can take our time – all the time that we need – to immerse ourselves completely into it. It’s more of a journey than an event.

This process, which has shaped my life, has taken me to great depths and heights that have always surprised me. It has ushered my life into the direction I’m in and has transformed me into the person I’ve become, and continuously becoming. Having reached this place in my creativity and faith, I don’t see a better way to live or be.

I wish the same thing for you.

 

xoxo,

sd