I’m starting to giggle again. I’m seeing the sun rise up again.
Cheers to my higher, lower, in-between self – and to all of you who accompanied me in this journey!
Universe! I’m so ready for the next chapter of my life story.
I’m starting to giggle again. I’m seeing the sun rise up again.
Cheers to my higher, lower, in-between self – and to all of you who accompanied me in this journey!
Universe! I’m so ready for the next chapter of my life story.
Lately, I began asking my higher self and the Universe about my life purpose. I don’t know which happened first – the change in the tides/seasons of my life or my will to face the path that has been calling me and has been preparing me for decades.
But I heard The song. It’s always been in the background of my life – subtle like the wind or birds’ chirping. I never really paid attention ’cause it’s always been there. I started getting more curious. I decided to move closer to it and find its source. I kept my senses open and sharp. I began letting go of everything that would distract me.
I kept on with my dogged search for weeks, then days…until it hit me. The search has led me inside my very own familiar heart. It’s quite surprising for me that I didn’t have to dig that deep to find the gem which was the source of the subtle song.
I realized that some truths may scream at us so loudly that we can’t ignore them, but other truths are so subtle that we need to be in that state of alignment before we can actually notice them. They may be subtle but they are consistent. If you want to know more about them and the messages they are sending you, all you have to do is look back at your life and notice its unwavering presence.
The subtle song was telling me that it’s my life purpose to be a spiritual teacher, and even though I don’t feel qualified to do so it tells me that I am indeed very qualified and ready to officially become one. It’s only up to me to embrace it or let it go.
To cut the story short I eventually said yes after some struggling – and many anxious nights and bus rides. Alright, alright I know, Universe, there are still many discussions to be made. I’m listening. No need to argue or convince me. You know me better than I know myself. I’m saying yes to this and I’m really gonna do it.
To be honest, though, despite resonating with this message all still sounded crazy to me. I couldn’t figure out how for the love of life am I gonna fulfill it. How should I begin? What are the next steps now that I said yes? The Universe kept on telling me that the next steps will be revealed to me one at a time as I take action. It will all make sense to me later when I’m ready to receive the meaning.
As I meditated, the Ace of Cups revealed itself to me. The angels snapped their fingers and got my attention – they said, look at this. Pay close attention to what it stands for in your life. This will clarify all your uncertainties at present.
True enough, I have a close relationship with the Ace of Cups. I know this card very well. It’s alive in my life.
An image flashed into my mind’s eye – the first video call I had with my present partner a couple of years ago. Our story was made in heaven in all aspects. We met overseas and developed our relationship despite the distance and many other differences in life circumstances. But despite all of it we found each other, we took a leap of faith and made it until now. We’ve been so so happy – growing and enjoying life together.
It’s the Ace of Cups’ message to me – that’s how a leap of faith looks like. That’s what happens when an overflowing cup has been offered to you and you dive completely into it with all that you are and all that you have in your heart. This kind of opportunity doesn’t happen frequently – but when it does it’ll change the course of your life.
Embracing the Ace of Cups in your life leads to a life of fulfillment and joy – and this doesn’t refer to a temporary high. The Ace of Cups is offering a life-long bliss. What’s being offered to you, if you choose to accept and nourish it, will stay in your life and help you with your journey to enlightenment.
The angels are right – they are always right! That answer in the form of the Ace of Cups is enough. I know what a leap of faith looks and feels like – and I know, very well, too about all the wonderful surprises that come along with it.
Embracing the path of spiritual work will fulfill me and overhaul my life if I let it. I can’t keep myself from smiling with this thought. 🙂 I wish for you to have the courage and faith to open up yourself to the Ace of Cups, too, when it arrives at your door! Take a leap of faith and dive into its overflowing love and joy that is especially offered to you.
I don’t fully know what’s ahead of me – but I’m getting bits and pieces of what feels right to do next. I’m becoming more curious and faithful now than ever and I’m loving it! I’ll take my time and enjoy the ride as it happens. I’ll make sure to share my insights along the way. I hope you enjoy the ride of your life, too!
It would be absurd to think that many of us are acting against our own joys – but we do. We don’t follow the path where our greatest fulfillment lies. Instead, we choose to live a mediocre life of shoulds and that’s-impossibles. We choose to struggle just to keep our heads above water instead of mastering the art of floating – so we could also enjoy the air and the sky, and our own reveries.
There is jewel behind learning how to hustle and get by – through this way of living we are able to squeeze out who we really are and what we are good at. We also learn universal truths such as unconditional love and infinite abundance. We find our way to our own spiritual core. We transcend our perceived human limitations.
However, going through the same struggles have led me to realize that the point of life is not suffering. We are here to enjoy and have fun! Struggles only make us more appreciative of all the goodness and beauty around us and inside us.
I used to have a limited mindset – and I didn’t know I had it until now, now that I’m open to release it. I am ready now to a lifestyle that I really want – and that I know each of us deserves right into our core.
I am ready now to a life of JOY. I want to fill each of my days doing the things that bring me joy and that add value to others as well. I am releasing all the activities that are eating up my spirit and wasting my skills.
In line with this realization, I realized that we can’t manifest desires that we are not ready for because manifesting them will simultaneously add responsibilities on our shoulders, too – we must first be willing to expand before our desires can fit perfectly in our world. Manifesting our desires need courage and assertiveness, too – it’s our divine responsibility to fight for what we want and what we think will make us happy. No one is responsible for our own happiness but ourselves.
So the road has led me here, at this point in time. I say it again – I am ready now for a life of Joy. I want to fill each day with things I am happy to do. I want to start living a life that is completely authentic – a life that reflects who I really am and all that is true for me.
If I am happy – the others around me are gonna be happy/ier, too – and this can send ripples across the Universe. I entrust my hearts’ desires to your all powerful hands, Universe. You know what is best for me and for everyone.
Abundance is not just having all your needs and wants met. It’s not just thriving in your own world. I’ve realized that abundance is also the ability to see how the people around you are thriving – and how their abundance relates to you/also becomes possible because of you.
Sometimes we underestimate our impact on others. We don’t know that how we see ourselves, how we see the world, how we live our lives send a ripple effect across all those around us – and even beyond.
I want to be abundant mainly because I want to give back – I want to step up and be an “angel” to others – especially those who’ve been my angels, too.
I want to be abundant because I also want to shower abundance to others especially when they least expect it – because I want them to feel that they are always taken care of, that they can always trust the Universe to provide them with their needs, that it’s true that you reap what you sow. I want to give back because there have been countless times when I received grace when I least expected it – when I least deserved it.
I feel abundant when I don’t have to take a pause and calculate – before I give. I want to give without worrying about my own needs. I want to give when I want to give. I want to give without asking for anything in return. I want to have more and be more so I can share more of what I have and who I am.
The Universe has graced my life with so much abundance and unconditional, immeasurable love. I’m ready now. It’s time for me to be a part of that cycle and this time to be the one who’s on the other end, reaching out her hand to those in need of some support. I want to be one of Universe’s many helping hands.
Not everything we’re passionate about are meant to be turned/can be turned into a financial resource. Many things we are interested with/naturally good at are better off untamed, without any pressure to become anything more.
While it’s definitely awesome to do what we love full time, sometimes the only way through modern life is to have a day job while not giving up the things that bring us joy.
I saw this happen with my art. A couple of years ago I tried to take my visual art “to the next level”. I wanted it to become a financial resource for me and not just a hobby. It definitely squeezed everything in me just to do that and I’ve never been so prolific in producing art. I had a blast and I felt satiated in a way because I just accomplished one of my greatest dreams. Along the way I had to admit though that I couldn’t turn it into a profitable business not because it didn’t have the potential, but because its sole purpose in my life was to bring me joy.
By pressuring my art to become something other than its purpose I was sucking the life and magic out of it. I was also putting a burden onto myself. I had to give it up and kept on with my search for my next day job.
Well, looking at the big picture, it’s not so bad having a day job and a separate life of passionate pursuits. Sometimes it’s the only thing that we can do, anyway, to keep our passions alive. I just gave up the vision of turning my art into a profitable career/business, but I didn’t give up my commitment to a life of creativity and play.
I have a similar view of my writing as well. A few times I thought of taking it “to the next level” and making a career out of coaching/personal development. But then I would think that the major reason why I can continuously write and reflect is because I don’t have the pressure to do so. If I turn it into something that I no longer do just for myself, I’m afraid that I will lose its essence – and my mojo, too.
I don’t believe that I’m wasting my skills simply by not turning these passions into a profitable business/career. I keep on creating, anyway. My passions benefit me and nourish my spirit, and those reasons alone are a great way of using them.
For sure each of us has this familiar story: You work hard on something for months or years on end only to be invalidated or totally discredited. Sometimes, colleagues would steal your ideas and they would get the accolades, other times your great work and development would simply get unnoticed and worst is when despite all evidences that you’re doing well or you’ve produced tangible great results you’ll be told you’re not good enough right in your face and that what you’re doing is unimpressive or totally unworthy of reward.
I’ve had my own share of all sorts of invalidation since I was a kid. I would say half of the time it’s because of my introversion and half of it is because I simply display this aura of not giving a fuck to other people’s validation of me or the lack thereof.
I wouldn’t be a hypocrite though and say that I don’t feel hurt when my hard work and contribution go unnoticed and when others get credit for what they do and who they are. I won’t say I don’t get hurt when people look down on me because I’m an introvert and I hate small talks, even though I can pull it off, too and be awesome at it if I push myself to. It sucks to be in those situations.
On the other hand, though, because of those experiences I’ve learned not to depend on other people’s validation in doing great work and in pushing myself to be better. I’ve learned to have other means of getting the kick that I need. I just strive to be good at what I do because I love the process of mastering something.
Because I have learned not to rely on compliments and rewards to be good at something, I’ve also learned how not to be devastated by criticisms when they strike me.
I can still remember a particular incident when I was 9 nine years old, and was at the top of my class of around 200 students. There was a time when a classmate of mine and I both got perfect scores in a written activity in our English subject. The activity required objective answers so there was no way we could have different answers. My teacher asked to take a look at our work sheets. After taking a quick look at my classmate’s work sheet, she told her “Very good!”, and my classmate picked up her sheet and went back to her seat. I quickly stood up and handed her my sheet when it was my turn to do so. She didn’t even really looked at it and then she told me without even looking at me, “It’s so-so.” I couldn’t on earth make sense of her remark. My classmate and I both had the same answers but I didn’t know how could she give different comments on each of our work.
I wasn’t really hurt about what she did. There were these thoughts/feelings I had instead: 1.) I have concluded that some adults were just plain absurd and stupid., 2.) My work and myself will not be evaluated fairly all the time and that’s not my fault, 3.) Competing with others was simply not my thing. I didn’t have any interest on it. I was indifferent. It was senseless for me. 4.) I won’t ever be able to please everyone despite doing my very best – and that although I could get unfair evaluations from others, it’s really not something I should take personally.
I didn’t let that incident derail me or put a blow on my self-esteem. It didn’t affect my perseverance or passion in learning. I kept on acing my studies until I graduated my grade school – and until I graduated college, actually. I just didn’t pay so much attention to others’ evaluation of me. What’s interesting though, was that this classmate of mine who was used to getting compliments, eventually dropped out of our school and transferred to a new school simply because she couldn’t accept the fact that she cannot beat me – and other top students in our batch – which caused her embarrassment and led to her low self-esteem.
I felt sorry for her because she has put too much emphasis on the value other people placed on her instead of rooting for her own intrinsic and indestructible value. She was a smart, hardworking and nice student. I saw her as a friend. I liked hanging out with her because she’s fun and really nice. Surely, she had become successful in whichever career she chose to pursue. It’s just sad what happened to her at that time.
I didn’t know that I’d be able to keep on coming back to that experience and use that in times when all I can rely on was my own self-belief. I didn’t know it would be so valuable to learn that at a young age.
I recently experienced something similar and instead of feeling low, I just recollected that memory and the lessons I got from it. Now I’m able to brush off what happened and just laugh at it. It’s a great feeling to be able to transcend those ego-based rewards and see the subtle truth behind it.
My partner and I were talking about careers a few days ago. He mentioned having this conversation with his friend in which they posed the question, “How are we going to survive working 8-10 hours a day until we’re 60?”. I was eagerly waiting for their answers in the hopes of hearing some new wisdom. I asked him like a pumped up kid, “So what was your answer?”, to which he simply replied, “Nothing. We thought maybe we’re gonna get used to it.”
My spirit sank.
Then I replied, “No. I think we should continuously work towards finding meaning in our life and creating a meaningful career for ourselves. It may not be easy and it may take years but it’s worth it. I know if we continue with our search, eventually we’ll get there.”
And each tiny cell of my body really believed in that.
I’m suddenly reminded of the meditation I did last weekend. My higher self told me that now is the time for me to open my heart to the Universe magic and help. She said that the next right move for me is to step into my own greatness. She told me that if I follow what my intuition tells me – I will never fail in what I choose to do simply because it will open new doors for me going to where I should be. The most important thing is that I’m in the right path.
I am a believer of the journey and the worthiness of going through our life path. I know that when it feels like we are not there yet we must not despair as long as we are continuously inching our way towards it. All the challenges, lessons and gifts that we get along our way will arm us to fulfill our most important work when we finally manifest it.
This search for meaning may bring us a lot of frustration – but there is just no better way to live. I cannot accept a life of mediocrity and settling down for what is obvious and mundane. Doing that is synonymous to self-defeat and suicide.
Three things I’m grateful for:
1.My asthma. Blasphemous as it may sound, but the return of my asthma 3 years ago has contributed a lot to my choices to pivot my life in life-affirming directions. My asthma has served as my compass in making healthy choices for myself. I’m just recovering from a severe asthma attack which started more than a week ago (which is not over as I’m writing this). At first I was annoyed by it, but now I’m grateful for it because without I won’t be forced to stay still, look at myself and look at my life and make the commitment on changing what needs to be changed. I’m so grateful that my body never lies to me and never betrays me. My body has no ego. All it cares about is my well being.
2.My family – that includes my partner, my biological family and my dogs – who has always replenished my soul when it’s depleted of energy, and who has always been so transparent and open in needing and wanting my presence and light. The way I see family now has transformed so much. I am grateful to have them as my anchor as I go through the turbulence of my journey.
3. My army of guides who never, ever get tired of me, who never give up on me and who are always rooting for me. During my most vulnerable times, they are who I reach out for. When I am in doubt, in guilt, in shame – they’re the ones I speak my mind and heart to. They never judge me, they only always help me get the enlightenment that I need. They help me find my truth when I’m having a hard time doing it on my own. They cheer me up, they take care of me and they also take care of my affairs for me when I can’t.
Three things I’m excited about:
1.The changes I’m gonna apply to my life. I’ve already started actually. I am excited of all the things I am gonna start doing to transform my relationships, mostly. I am excited to start being open to life again, after being bruised and disillusioned. I’m ready and willing to embrace all of it again.
2.Finding and starting a new curiosity. I am the kind of person who keeps on tryin’ out new things that interests me. I don’t know which among my curiosities I’m gonna follow through next but I’m excited, still. I’m ready for something new and exciting to me. I’m ready to learn something new again.
3. I’m excited to transform myself. I’ve had major self-transformations within the 30 years of my life so far. Hmm I think this will my 6th. I’m all ready for Superdaenamite version 6.0!
Three things that’s missing in my life/myself that I’d like to have more of/become:
1. I want more action. I want to participate more. I wanna move my body, basically. There’s an aching my to work out or dance.
2. I want more transparency in my life. I want to bring out the fullness of my natural candidness. This will add a new level of depth to all my relationships.
3.I want more feminine energy in my life. I want to stop being scared of being feminine. I’m already feminine of course, but I feel like a fraud many times. I feel like I don’t wanna get myself too exposed so I don’t fully express my feminine side. I want to liberate it and embrace it. I want it to soar and create its own magic.
Three things I want to change/let go of:
1.Competition. Work has become more and more competitive lately. While I know it can produce good work and push people to be their best, I still don’t believe that it’s the only and the best source of motivation. I also have to admit that it doesn’t resonate with my truth. I am not a naturally competitive person. Even when I look back to my years and grade school and high school when the system would rank you according to who’s the best and the smartest academically. I experienced being at the top a few times. From nursery to my last year in high school, I have always been among the top performing students. But I never felt motivated by competition. I was never competitive with my classmates. I was just used to giving my best in what I chose to do and taking my studies seriously. It mattered to me. It just so happened that my efforts produced good results and good grades. It’s just not me. I am not a competitive person. I wanna let go of trying to keep up with my competitive colleagues. It’s driving me sick – literally.
2.Being unforgiving and not taking the fullness of one’s humanity. I’ve held on to my frustrations which turned into stubborn and thick resentments for so long that it also drove me sick. I gotta be wiser and more open to accept humanity with all its awesomeness and also stupidity.
3. Prioritizing what other people think about me or what I do. This is the real killer. My self-esteem sunk because of this attitude. When you do this, you’ll immediately kill your fairy spirit inside. You’re gonna take off the light on her, seal her mouth shut and suffocate her. It’s real murder to the spirit. We all need to listen to what others say only as a way to correct our course of actions. But if we do it full-time, and with regards to all the things we do, then that is a sure recipe to self-sabotaging. We usually don’t now how bad it can get – until it gets really bad and we’re in the pits.
When somebody gets credit for something exceptional they did, we’re all wowed and star-struck – couldn’t believe how they could achieve something so well despite their apparent humanity.
What we don’t see are the innumerable hours spent practicing – and failing. Yes failing at what they’ve always chosen to love and do. Failing hard. Failing and taking the real blows. We only see them when they get exceptionally better at what they have chosen to pursue.
I want to make a virtual toast to those hours spent – grinding it out, pulling yourself up, pushing yourself forward, standing tall even when you’re in pits, trying and trying until you get it right – until you get better. Those are holiest hours. Those are what our desire for progress is really about. We are transformed mostly during those moments.
Don’t despair, my friend, if your work hasn’t paid off yet in the way you want it to. You’re being chiseled in the fire. Relish these moments, too. You will never be able to handle the successes in store for you, without first becoming the person you’ll be after going through this painstaking process.
Sometimes, people who appear extroverted (or who may really be extroverted) are really guarded inside. They may be sociable, energetic and expressive but when you try to connect with them on a more personal way, you find out that they’re actually closed off and you just can’t get past their self-imposed gate. You just feel it when you’re interacting with these kinds of people on a one-on-one basis. They’re usually good and comfy with groups, but when you put them in a more intimate setting, they kinda zone out or feel like they want to fly away.
On the other side, there are some people who seem reserved or shy or uninterested, they may sometimes even come off as boring. But when you engage them, they welcome you into their world of feelings, imagination and ideas. They are spontaneous, funny, deep and just overall exciting. They are interested about you and about many other things, too.
I think people are both open and closed in many ways and in varying degrees. We all need to achieve this sense of equilibrium in our own ways so we tend to be complicated at times. I like both types. But I tend to prefer the second one more (maybe because it’s more similar to me). I don’t have anything against the first type, I just think I prefer to, for instance, be friends or work with the second type because relationships with them have a better chance of becoming fun, rich and meaningful. The first type is also kinda tricky to be around with. You don’t know what they’re truthfully feeling. Sometimes you can’t trust what you get from them.