Bring out The Bull in you

ericzenerI’m blessed to be visited by animal spirit guides in my meditations, in my dreams, in my visions. Today’s meditation led me to my zodiac sign – Taurus, the Bull.

The image of a bull looking straight at me was sharp, very much in contrast with the image behind her – a herd of bull raging, with dust clouding the atmosphere.

I would usually get telepathic messages from these animal spirits, but she never spoke a word to me. Her mere presence was her message.

The messages, as I interpreted it in words were:

  • There’s no conflict between the two – you can have a strong individual character and be part of a team. In fact, the strongest teams are actually composed of only those with strong individualities. You have to know who you are first before you can be a part of something bigger.
  • You can be both gentle and headstrong. You can both be nice and decisive.
  • You don’t need to do anything fancy, you need not possess any remarkable talent. You will reach your goals by actually being so damn predictable, that you become so reliable for others. You will move towards your goals by being consistent and methodical. There is value in sticking with the process –  because you’re only gonna have progress in the process. You’ll only be able to improve how you do things in time.
  • You don’t have to be particularly exceptional with anything. What you need is to choose to be fully present in each moment, to confront each situation and not to avert your eyes. Everything is “figure-out-table” as long as you stay present and focused. Creative ideas will open themselves up to you when you are grounded in the moment. Trust in your environment, trust in yourself – trust that you have the resources to accomplish whatever you set your mind to do.
  • You get stronger the more you try, the more you give your all.

An Ode to Free Will

fernwaterThe force which allows us to have infinite power and freedom through our sheer free will, regardless of our faith or even the lack thereof,

The force which honors the inherent power and freedom that we have all inside, that is our divine right, something that have always existed beyond time,

Is absolutely not evil.

Is something that can be trusted.

Is something that deserves our unshakable, unwavering eternal devotion.

Evil is controlling and possessive. It is rooted on fear and lack. It doesn’t see anyone. It doesn’t trust anyone. The emptiness in its core is unfathomable.

But this force that is the complete opposite of evil shines so brightly that it’s even able to shine over the darkest depths where evil resides. For evil is the mere absence of light; where doors are shut and fists are clenched. Where separation breeds and expands.

Nothing is innately good or bad, because free will exists. We are the secret ingredient that brings meaning to any situation. The meaning we create brings all things to life.

We are the factor that matters. We are the only thing that prevails. Appearances may change, may mutate, may dissipate – but we remain steadfast in our evolution.

The gift of free will does not exist as a tool for self-flagellation. The Divine didn’t intend to berate us and humiliate us, and put the weight of the world on our shoulders. Free will is meant to simply make us…free – it’s that simple. It’s a reminder that we always have the power that we need at any given moment, regardless of how situations look like on the surface, regardless if we find ourselves alone or if we’ve got company.

Free will reminds us, unfailingly, of our divine essence. That we are all equal and we come from the same Source.

Free will is meant to be our compass, it’s meant to guide us back to our home which is Joy and Oneness.

May we all see the grace that free will is, and use it to heal and expand the world as we know it.

We’re Equals in Love

coupleI’ve had a particularly healing dream last night. I was my old self, in my early 20’s clinging to a guy who was not fully into the relationship as I was. Like some of us, women, I, too, have been in a series of toxic relationships with unavailable men (rather, boys), who were on the surface in varying types and degrees of unavailability but who were all just the same emotionally unavailable on the inside.

In my dream I initiated a conversation with my guy (who was faceless and nameless, more of an archetype than an actual person), “Won’t you be more present with me and more interested with me and our life together?”

He simply gave me this pained look, followed by a shrug that was all too familiar to me. He didn’t have the will to dump me ’cause having me was still convenient for him. But he was not with me either. You know how it usually goes with these guys and the situations us, ladies go through with them.

What happened next was something I wasn’t able to do in most of my relationships during those years, for I didn’t have the guts to draw the line then most of the time (therefore the same kind of relationship kept manifesting in my life), I said,

“If you don’t know what you really want, but it’s not me or not with me, if you can’t commit completely into this relationship like I can, then I don’t need you. I deserve someone who knows what he wants and who will stand for it the way I do.”

I walked out, leaving him having the same pained, teenage-boy-confused look. I didn’t look back.

I’ve long been able to transform myself and my relationships, including the one with my significant other of almost four years. But before the relationship materialized, I actually had to draw the line first, and tell him what I wanted out of our relationship. I told him he could either take it or leave it, but I wouldn’t compromise. I knew what I wanted with him, I knew what I wanted out of a relationship and if he turned out not to be up for it then he’s not the one for me.

I think The Universe and my Higher Self wanted me to share this story with others. It has come full circle for me now, I guess. That part of my life was completely over. The wound has been healed.

If you’ve been having a similar struggle in the relationship department, I am 100% sure you’ll find healing and resolution in your own empowerment, too. You deserve someone who knows and appreciates your light. We are all rooting for you.

How to go back & stay in Alignment

The Angels offered me this gem, hope it helps:

diveOur advice is short and simple, really, there’s nothing dramatic about it – Keep the energy flow open. 

Make sure that the energy, the light you receive from the Divine flows through you. Make sure to radiate this light beyond yourself towards all those who need it. Others will reflect the same light to you just as you need it.

Stuck energy in any recess of your being will keep you from your own Alignment, which is usually a symptom of a wound that’s been left open for too long. This will block you from receiving more light and from radiating light as well.

Let go of anything heavy that is more trouble than it’s worth. This will keep you grounded in your natural state, which is Alignment.

You will trail away from your center from time to time, and the way to go back is to reach for that thought, that emotion that makes you feel light again – joyful again. You may do this in infinite ways such as immersing yourself in a creative and playful activity, surrounding yourself with things that inspire you, participating in nourishing relationships, listening to uplifting music, bathing yourself in nature, choosing to hold positive thoughts and emotions and being gentle towards yourself, among others.

As you do these, dance as you move along your path. Follow the rhythm of your Spirit. Have fun! Focus on the things that you can enjoy in your journey. As always, we’re with you, lifting you up.

Two things: Don’t make it complicated. Update your OS.


mountaintopJust a background for this post, I’ve recently been having issues with my laptop. For reasons I didn’t know back then, it started lagging and it won’t boot up and shut down properly. When the worst of it happened yesterday – it’s already been an hour and it still won’t shut down – I’ve decided to officially investigate what’s going on and solve the problem for good.

Like what people on this day and age usually do when they have questions, I went to Google. Shortly, I found myself immersed in all sorts of online fora and tutorials on YouTube, multiple tabs open while at the same time I was tinkering a bit with the settings of my laptop like a good online student.

Internet peeps suggested really complex and highly technical steps to follow to solve the problem. Despite my efforts to do my research, I was actually feeling lazy, so I simply ignored most of what I read and watched – I would skip to another website, another video, another article when the suggestion got way past three sentences.

As I was half-paying attention to the settings of my laptop, I bumped into this portion where I simply had to click a button so it can scan for issues which may have been preventing the OS to upgrade itself automatically. I didn’t even know such a solution existed – since apparently I was not that familiar with my own device and none of the online fora or videos talked about it. I was up for trying anything that might solve the problem – I was desperate – so even though I wasn’t familiar with it I clicked on the button. In a short while the process has already been completed. A message told me so. It seemed too simple and easy for me – but I took a leap of faith and restarted my laptop, anyway, half-expecting it will be back to normal. I told myself that if it would still take more than 2 minutes to shut down then the problem still persisted.

It shut down in a couple of seconds.

An OS upgrade was simply what it needed. I didn’t have to do anything complicated. I didn’t have to consult “the experts”. I just had to let my intuition guide me. And boy, I didn’t know I was a genius *winks.

I knew the Divine was on to something, and I was not gonna let it go to waste, so I posed a question. “What message are you trying to send me?”

I got this long and beautiful answer:


Part 1: Stop making things unnecessarily complicated

sleepingYou and your culture has a habit of making things unnecessarily complicated. You have this illusion that acquiring more information is always a good thing, that it always leads to something better. You “Google” this, you “Google” that. Eventually you are faced with all these chunks of information and infinite tabs open, both literally on your devices and in your minds.

What you fail to notice is that pieces of information that are not relevant to you will simply stay stuck in your mind. Information is energy, too, and energy has to flow.

If you don’t know how to transform the energy that is information, if you don’t know what to do about it, it can end up poisoning you or sucking the life out of you – including your own brilliance.

It can cloud your good judgment and your ideas that are actually relevant for you at each specific moment. Solutions naturally rise to the surface of your mind, but with all the clutter and mud, this would be difficult.

Keep your mind clear and simple. The information that you need is always already there inside you.


Part 2: Why you need to upgrade your devices’ OS

lostUpgrading a software, including your own devices’ operating system takes time, this reason alone usually makes people postpone it. They don’t wanna bother being away from their devices’ even for a few minutes. They think since it has worked for them so far it should still work fine for the next months and years. They’re even given the option to do the upgrading when they’re supposed to be sleeping during wee hours, but still, they choose not to. They brush the reminder off like it’s from their annoying mothers. They move on with their lives.

However, time always comes, when upgrading the OS becomes inevitable. The device lags, it crashes again and again – especially during times when they’re in the middle of something important like saving a file or cancelling an email or talking with an angry client – or it won’t boot or shut down properly.

Eventually most of these people will get it; they would simply want to end their misery and they know upgrading the OS is the only solution.

Some of them don’t wanna upgrade because they’re contented with how things currently are (yes, I’m talking to YOU). They don’t believe that the upgrade will provide them with a better user experience. Aside from that, they also don’t want to give more storage to the OS ’cause, duh, they’re saving the space for their selfies and downloaded baby animal videos.


Part 3: Upgrade the OS of YOU

undressMost of you are behaving this way towards yourselves. You know you gotta upgrade the operating system of YOURSELF yet you keep on skipping on it. You brush the reminder off from your Spirit. You ignore the signs that your existing OS really needs updating.

You try to live with the bumps of your life – rationalizing them simply as “shit happens” -, you stand passively as your good relationships fall apart while you cling to the toxic ones, you suffer from health crises, you slowly sink in to depression but you’re too used to feeling that way that you don’t see anything wrong with it – again it’s just life happening – you’re miserable at work that you’d rather die than do it everyday for the rest of your life – but you still won’t dare do something about it, your finances evaporate for reasons that don’t even nourish you or make you genuinely happy but you keep spending more, you start to think that people are monsters and everybody is out to get you and eat your heart so you lock yourself in, you isolate yourself, and you don’t dare ask anybody for help.

Eventually, to some, the moment comes when you just get tired of this downward spiral. Eventually it becomes too painful, too unbearable for you that you finally wanna to get out of it. Hallelujah, you finally want Change.

You finally wake up to the fact that your OS is outdated. Your outdated habits, beliefs, interests, choices and relationships float to the surface.

While you may not have a button that you can simply click and the upgrade will automatically take place even when you’re asleep, there is actually one decisive step that you can take.

Say “YES” to Transformation.

Decide that you want it, that you need it. Flip that switch, press that button in your mind that says you wanna move forward and never look back. Accept the invitation of your Spirit to start the upgrade. Commit to that irreversible change that you want.

You don’t even need to know the details of what’s gonna change and how it will come about. You don’t get to see what literally happens during a system upgrade on a device, right? Some steps have to be done on your behalf, like clicking buttons, yes, but you are not required to actively participate all the time in its duration. In fact, you can even sleep on it for the most part, or do something else while your device does its job.

A similar thing happens when you upgrade YOU. For most part of your spiritual journey, you are simply being led by the Divine, and miracles occur for you and IN you as you move along. No need for you to keep on checking, “How’s it going? Is it done yet? Will it be over soon? Is there anything I should do to speed things up?”, in fact this behavior only stalls the process. This makes you distracted and this makes the Divine’s work all bumpy.

For the most part what’s actually required of you is to simply…surrender.

When you say “yes” to the transformation and commit to it, trust that it will happen the best way it should happen. Trust that the changes are meant to give you a better experience of yourself and life.

The truth is, just like a device’s OS upgrade, this process is already over before you even choose to begin it. The BEST output has already been created, the BEST ending has already been achieved. The Divine has already selected the BEST way it can unfold. This is not a trial-and-error fling, we’re not on Beta either. We endorse it because we are sure of it. It is irreversible. It is groundbreaking.

All you have to do is decide. Accept the invitation of your Spirit. Commit to the Transformation.

There is more to life than Happiness

mountaintopOur society has a strong bias towards Happiness. Persons of authority have long been preaching about the importance of happiness to our health and the quality of our lives, which is inevitably tied with societal progress. We coax each other into having a more optimistic attitude as a solution to practically any challenge we experience. While there is certainly a truth to that belief that our attitude shapes our experiences and how we respond to them matters more than the experiences themselves, I don’t think the goal should always be to cure an issue like a disease while reaching for that happy place where all difficulties fade, a metaphorical pot of gold, basically.

I refuse that way of thinking. I think it’s immature to subscribe to that. It’s flawed in various ways.

First, we are not mean to stay in a sea of bliss for eternity.

Staying in a happy place forevermore or even most of the time is not how it’s meant to be because life – the Universe – is always in a state of interruption, even when we perceive it to be stagnant at times. We don’t know why, it’s just how it is.

Just look at nature. It’s all about going through the cycle of birth, maturity and decay. There is chaos in order and order in chaos.

Second, all human emotions have a purpose.

They are Divinely manifested. They all teach us important lessons about ourselves and how life works. They help us expand. They inspire us to create and destroy – processes that are both integral in life. I don’t intend to romanticize mental illnesses, but without our neuroses, how could many of the greatest things ever created come to life?

If none of us is able to go through hell and come back again – how can we even discover our true nature, that we are indestructibly beautiful and powerful to our core?

Third, life is more complex, more multidimensional than Happiness.

Happiness is just one piece of the puzzle; just one angle of a mirror’s innumerable sides. At the heart of life are endless contradictions. We’re missing out on too many ways of seeing and experiencing life if we just look through the narrow funnel of Happiness.

In order to understand our nature and life’s truths we gotta have the heart to go beyond Happiness and all the realms of what is only comfortable for us to confront.

We cannot transform ourselves and our society if we back off from the shadows and the mud smeared on our faces, and the faces of our children – and all the generations that will follow. Going through the dark tunnel of our own psyche is also part of our journey.

What I recommend, in lieu of Happiness, is Wholeness.

upAllowing life to lead us the way. Refusing to judge our emotions and our struggles as useless negativity. This ability to come full circle, having integrated all the wisdom we have gained through our life journey.

Embracing all that we have become – both the good and the bad in us.

Knowing that this cycle is never-ending; that the expansion of our own collective consciousness IS EXACTLY the eternal and ever-accelerating expansion of our Universe. In this all things are of equal importance; all things lead us towards harmony.

A force faster than the speed of Light


diveOur rational mind, our ego is bounded by space-time. It’s a product of the earth. It’s grounded in the human, worldly experience, governed by its laws. It’s anchored in physical laws that can be and has been measured in science. It’s rooted on what we so far know of the “building blocks” of life. The notion that nothing can travel at the speed of light and more so, faster than light remains irrefutable. But this theory only refers to things made up of mass since traveling at the speed of light requires an object to expand to infinite proportions, which in science is impossible. But what about those without?

This is where Divine connection, God, intuition, inspiration, consciousness, higher wisdom/knowing, love – or however you wanna call it – comes in,

this seemingly out-of-this-world “thing” travels faster than the speed of light. And we can access it instantaneously, anywhere we may be.

This “thing” is infinite and eternal. It’s not bounded by time or space – or any material conditions we may have or we may even impose on ourselves.

If we use scientific lens to view this – we might see this as the great vacuum, the great ever-expanding unknown – just plain emptiness that doesn’t make sense – since only this kind can expand faster than light. Maybe our scientific tools and human mind are not equipped to perceive it, study it and understand it. As I said, our human mind is earth-bound, and it’s designed to enable us to live and thrive on an earthly plane. It’s served us well for the most part of our journey and it has taken as quite far into our evolution as a species.

But it’s not gonna take us further. We need to tap more into our “superhuman” consciousness to proceed with our expansion and achieve great leaps in our evolution.

We need to harness our “superhuman” abilities. Our ancestors have always done this and there are many evidences of this in our history. We need to not just carry on but to always take it to another level – to keep on expanding it. Only by expanding our collective consciousness/spirit can we push for greater material/physical evolution.

Again, there is a force – this is the force faster than the speed of light. And each of us has direct access to it through our own heart, our own spirit. It’s bigger than all of life combined and anything we could ever imagine.

Each of us has her/his own way of harnessing its energy, its wisdom, its gifts. Some of us see it, hear it, feel it, know it – or experience all of those. We are all messengers in the form of our art, our work, our relationships, how we carry ourselves, how we communicate and so on and so forth. Once we’re able to unlock this energy and commit to learning how to harness its for good and bring it down to earth – that’s when we become a portal of the Divine’s unbounded, transformative and transcendental energy. That’s when our life gets anchored on a meaningful purpose that is bigger and more important than our individual, human life. That’s when we come full circle and go back to who we really are – merging back with the Divine which is the source of all life and all truths.

The Divine invites us to connect again and again in various ways. Sometimes it manifests in opportunities and movement, but sometimes, it approaches us through upheavals – even in stagnation. The Divine is both in abundance and in lack. It is both an object with mass and immeasurable emptiness. The Divine is the Great Paradox.

Above all, its a continuously moving energy no matter how our human mind perceives it. Our work on earth, which is bounded by space-time and all other kinds of trappings, is to master how to keep the connection with the Divine – with our own Divinity – regardless of external, material circumstances.

We’re always invited to forge and strengthen this connection – but we have to accept it. Likewise, we have to consistently work on it like a muscle. We must approach our life experiences (read: ALL OF IT) as invitations to grow wider, deeper and higher – which ultimately contributes to the Universe’s expansion both as a whole, and in bits and pieces altogether,

There is no way that we can sugar-coat everyday life difficulties including, especially the major ones which affect entire communities and generations. We’re not being asked to dampen our experience of them as well. Our ability to fully experience the intensity of human emotions is key to the expansion of our consciousness. This is the most important part of the human experience. But what is always being asked of us, and what we should ask ourselves as well, is to go beyond what our human mind and body can perceive and comprehend – and to integrate all that we learn from that process of transcendence. Nothing can go back to what it was – we can’t go back to who we were once transcendence has taken place.

When we’re able to grasp this – to nail this truth down and feel it to our very core – even the most life-shattering difficulties would have meaning to us.

There is a force faster than the speed of light. There is a consciousness wiser and more powerful than our human mind. There is a world beyond what we can physically experience. By tapping into that we can live our everyday life as a force of non-stop transformation.

Let it Fall Off


legsThe Universe gave me this advice, as I was struggling with a family relationship issue lately. My entire being felt right about letting it go, but certain voices around me kept pointing out how wrong it would be –

“If you’re on the fence about letting go of a particular issue or relationship, and when you’ve given yourself enough time to figure it out but you still couldn’t seem to find your way through it –

Release your grip.
Let. It. Fall. Off.

What’s meant to stay in your life will stay – it will proceed to the transformation its being called for. On the other hand, what’s meant to be dissolved will dissolve. It will disappear from your life experience on its own, and you won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

This has led me to realize that sometimes, a situation or relationship stays in our life only because we’re holding on to it – past its expiration date. Sometimes we become so oblivious to the fact that it has already served its purpose, and therefore, must be let go of. But we cling to it – even though what we’re actually clinging into is just the ghost of what it once was or what we thought it was.

Sometimes we suddenly wake up to the realization that a situation or a relationship has, in fact, long been dead – that recent conflicts were only meant to show us its decay.

However, letting go doesn’t always mean turning our back against it and all its beautiful possibilities. Death doesn’t always refer to an actual ending. But sometimes our clinging to how it was or how it is, in truth, blocks all the chances of it ever turning to how it’s meant to be.

Conflicts arise from this phase of stunted growth.

The wisdom of letting something go, more often than not, doesn’t come to us intuitively. Most of the time, it’s an unpopular choice to make. But even the wisest and most successful among us can’t see the entire picture. We have to surrender to the fact that higher forces are in charge, and life has its own way of clearing the Old as a way of giving space for the New. Sometimes, what’s being asked from us is to simply get out of our own way to transformation and alignment – and during these times, this can only be translated by letting something go.

Everyday Alchemy


lostAs I was mindlessly cleaning my bedroom yesterday, I posed this question to the Universe again, the same question I’ve been asking for months now –

“Why have I been getting rejections lately? Why have you been roadblocking me?”

Instead of the radio silence I usually get, a clear answer got this time –

“This entire journey has begun precisely because you were vibrating on a high note of rejection. You were in pain because you felt rejected and this pain bled into all areas of your life, clouding your perception and blocking you from love.

I gave you more of it so you’ll learn more about it; so you’ll know what it’s really about. By going through it again and again, by now probably you’ve already learned that it’s not as powerful as you originally thought it was. In fact, it doesn’t have power over you at all.

It doesn’t define you. By now you probably know that rejection is pretty meaningless on its own, the only thing that matters is your interpretation of it.”

Suddenly, it all made sense to me. Comparing how I feel about rejections now than when I started this spiritual journey, I have come full circle. Until a few weeks ago, I had been hyper sensitive about being rejected to the point that every little comment or gesture made me feel rejected, regardless of whether they’re really about me or not.

I nursed the pain and felt more and more like a victim. I harbored resentment. I blew situations up. I was a walking tumor; a bomb that could explode anytime, anywhere.

This is one of life’s many ways of healing us; of exorcising all our burdens. This is life walking us through the painstaking process of discovering the truth about ourselves – how indestructible we are to our core.

Isn’t that what healing is all about? Walking through the illusions of who we thought we were and shedding all the untruths as we go. Healing is that place we arrive at when we’ve completed this process of cleansing. Isn’t life all about experiencing this process again and again?

It doesn’t make sense while we are in the journey. All we want is to make it through as soon as possible – which always means, NOW. None of us is certain even about our own journey – how long it’s gonna take and the twists and turns that could happen along the way. This uncertainty usually makes us resist more.

Eventually we’ll realize that the more we resist, the more we prolong our healing and the more we block off the guidance being sent our way. The answers we seek will get through us once we’re ready to receive them; once we have completed the transformation that awaits us.

My funny, lovely meditation experience

I’ve had many serious AND FUNNY visualization meditations (without intending to). There have been times when I would see archangels being silly and inviting me to play around with them instead of being so serious all the time. In many instances I would see all sorts of animals stepping into my meditation, inviting me to do all sorts of random, silly and funny stuff which are “serious” for them.

foxJust this morning I did a visualization meditation where I had to climb the top of Mt. Everest. Guess what? I saw myself wearing a onesie (instead of serious hiking clothes complete with the necessary gears). At first I thought it was a unicorn onesie…then a fox appeared and told me I was so funny wearing a Totoro onesie. I wasn’t a unicorn after all.

This fox was eating cheese and drinking wine. She even invited me to her house and said that she would cook dinner for me for when I come back from the peak. She said of course cheese is best partnered with wine – and that of course, foxes eat cheese and drink wine and that she had all the supplies she needed.

hedgehogShortly after, I met a hedgehog who climbed the peak with me. Before we started climbing, he gave me a gold penny to remind me that I always have all the abundance of wealth and support that I need…and that of course he’s got an infinite number of gold pennies at home because he’s a penny-maker. He even gave me a Hi-C drink and we were drinking at the peak like we’re best buddies in grade school hanging out in the courtyard.

Eventually, yes, the three of us had dinner together prepared by the elegant Ms. Fox. It was a yummy potato soup…and we ate cheese of course and drank red wine. Mr. Hedgehog was laughing at me, saying “Who wears a onesie to Mt. Everest?”. We spent the evening talking about our funny and silly experiences in life – like we’ve been friends forever. 🙂 What a funny, lovely meditation experience!