This triggers me so badly – when one chooses to be stuck over courageously moving forward. I believe life is too short to be complicated by our own indecisiveness – putting things off, refusing to confront the truth, refusing to take accountability for our decisions. I believe life is just too short to not commit, to not follow through, to not choose what we want at any given moment.
Just fucking choose. Don’t waste your life sitting on the fence.
There are no right or wrong choices when you are doing what feels right for you. And what feels right can sometimes feel scary, uncertain, lonely. But still nothing is more miserable than being stuck because you’re so fucking coward to make a choice for yourself (I told you it’s one of my pet peeves).
Just fucking choose and get it over with.
Life can get tough, but the Universe doesn’t leave us alone in our journey. The Universe understands that while we need to go through our own path to learn what we set out to learn and accomplish, we also need not forget who we really are.
In my life, I’ve always had those beings who remind of me of my natural tenderness – humans, animals, nature,. Tthey hold my hand, smile at me, persistently ask me to play and have fun, to sit and relax, to listen to my heart. Many times, I’ve learned to build up a shell around my heart as a way of protecting myself, and many times when the need for it subsides, these beings always do their work of breaking it up either piece-by-piece or in one blow.
It took a while for me to connect the dots and see the meaning in these relationships, and the presence of these beings in my life. Many times I’ve thought how undeserving I was of their love. But maybe, my human mind just can’t fathom the unconditionality of pure love. And maybe we are also part of this pure love even though it’s difficult to feel that way in our human form with all our complexities and struggles.
Nevertheless I am thankful beyond words can express. The Universe has always been unfailing in sending me all the help and love that I need.
It depends on our commitment
to expand our capacity to feel
how the world unfolds.
Richness surrounds us, and can never contain itself
we just need to open ourselves fully
to participate in this spontaneous
yet orchestrated overflow.
*An ode to my feisty, tender feline friend, Cool-aid; who has melted my heart back to its normal state. She reminded me that we only really have what’s in our heart. The rest are illusory.
We only fail at the goals we set. We only get punished by the rules we create.
There’s no external force that is judging us and holding us accountable for our actions. Heaven or hell are not places we go to in the afterlife – they are two extreme states of being within ourselves, of relating with ourselves.
We can either feel attuned to who we really are or totally disconnected. We only either feel proud of how we live up according to our standards or feel disappointed by how we’re unable to be who we say we wanna be, who we say we are.
When it feels like you’re in the wrong place, in the wrong direction, instead of turning around, sometimes, in fact, you just have to keep on moving forward.
Imagine you find yourself lost in the middle of the desert, it won’t make sense to turn back, right? Most probably your best choice is to keep moving forward along the path you’re in until you find an oasis, and eventually your very own destination.
Where do I end and where do you begin? Where’s the line separating annihilation from rebirth? When should we stop mourning and start celebrating? When nothing ever really disappears, when everything that once were will always will be – should we just watch and wait, in what way should we participate and evaluate?
We reach only the top of the mountains we choose to climb on.
Hence, we don’t succeed in the same way, at the same time.
Hence, not everyone appreciates the same view.
I turn 31 today.
“What’s different about me this year in comparison to who I was last year?”, I ask myself.
Well, I think I’m pretty much the same. I just think I’m more daring now. Daring in ways I wasn’t before. Daring and more comfy in my own skin. Daring and more at peace with uncertainty. Daring and more at ease with owning my mistakes. Daring and more confident with my personal standards and desires. Daring and more trusting in life. Daring and more tender in my relationships.
Stepping onto this phase of my life feels like a warm, thick familiar coffee. You look forward to it. It’s homey in its own special way. It also feels like a prize you know you so well deserved.
We should give our best not because everything equally matters individually and collectively.
What matters in the face of life, in the face of death – is that we show up fully in each given moment – to who we have become, but more importantly to who we claim ourselves to be.
I don’t think Source brought all things to existence merely to know itself and expand. *As I was stroking my furry bestfriend’s head, Munchkin, I knew that Source created everything ultimately because of love.
No, not to learn how to love itself, neither to love out of generosity. But to love that which is a part of itself but also outside of itself. To love without purpose other than the experience of loving. To experience love in its many different forms. To deepen our capacity for love.
Because having the opportunity to love is worth creating universes/multiverses for. It’s so good there’s nothing like it. It’s worth going through eternity for.
*I wrote this post with Munchkin beside me 🙂