Begin Again

Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

upThe only way we can finally clear whatever is blocking us is by taking a leap of faith to try again – to run the risk of getting hurt again.

The only way we can finally heal ourselves is by having the courage to get back up

and begin again.

 

Try again. Open yourself up for rejection again.
That’s how one fully gets over past hurts that have blocked one’s heart.

Healing isn’t dependent on someone else’s acceptance of you.
Healing is dependent on your decision to believe and hope again.

That’s the only way you’ll know your heart is back on fire.

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Love Flows

Healing, Spirituality, The Self

huggingLove is like water. It has to flow.

Many times we get terrified of love. Of our own feelings. We’re scared that the rush would overwhelm us and break the dam that holds us safe together.

The truth is, it’s safe to love.

Love only becomes overbearing when we block its natural flow. When we really wanna embrace someone but instead we choose to turn our back on them. When we really wanna forgive and liberate our heart but we choose to face more daggers instead. When we really wanna look someone in the eyes and melt into them but instead we avert our gaze, we pretend like we don’t care.

Love only hurts us when we’re blocked. When love cannot flow smoothly into all our crevices; into all the cracks that are hurting, lonely, afraid. Love has to run free. Love has to take the shape of our own Body. Soul. Mind. In fact, it’s love that has shaped this earth and everything that we see.

Love connects us. We’re here only because of love. Love is only here because of us. Love. Love. There’s nothing else to do but to love.

Love has to be expressed. Love demands to be expressed. Everywhere we look. Everywhere we go. Where there is light. Where there is none. Love has to find a way. Love has to stay.

Let love flow through you. Let it bathe you. Let it purify you. Love. Don’t be afraid to love. Let love change you.

*We can only grow in the most profound ways through love.

Holding the Cup of Love

Healing, People, People & Relationships, The Self

handsHolding a space for someone to unravel is such a privilege.

We do this for each other without knowing it. It’s that honorable time in our life when we are not asked to do anything but to stand strong in our power and hold the cup of our overflowing love for someone who needs it – so they can go down on their knees, break down and surrender. We are neither asked to take the punches for them nor to come up with creative solutions. Our role, in fact, is to NOT interfere, to let them go through this on their own – because they need this fight to learn and grow, to let go of everything that doesn’t reflect who they really are and who they wanna be.

We serve as their witness, as they go through this sacred transformation. We uphold their cup of love for them until they’re ready to take it back

and give it a home again.

Emotions

Healing, People, People & Relationships, The Self

upHow would we learn how to master them if we always keep ourselves at a certain distance?

Why would we even need to learn how to temper them if we haven’t been in any of their extremes?

If everything happens as expected, how can we learn to be unconditionally calm and balanced?

We don’t usually even need to stop them from consuming us. They usually come to pass on their own. While we’re internally forever changed, but better anchored on who we are.

The Art of Receiving Love

Faith, Healing, Manifestation, People, People & Relationships, The Self

bouquetSometimes we let our need for labels limit how we live and experience love.

Shouldn’t it be enough that we are loved by each single creation in its/her/his own special way?

Let’s open ourselves to receive the kind of love we’re given. Give what we can in return as well.

Accept the love that is given to you, in whatever shape or form it appears. Temper your tendency to control it, to put a leash around it, to hang a name tag on it. Let it guide you in exploring yourself, in expanding your perspective on what is possible, on what is real.

Some things are worthy of Second Chances

Healing, Life path, People, People & Relationships, The Self

handsI didn’t always believe in second chances. I’d rather work on something new than go back and fix, what to me, was broken.

Three recent instances have taught me otherwise. Needless to say, I’ve been reluctant in all.

The only thing that has made me reconsider my point of view was – Sincerity.

The other parties’ sincerity opened up my mind into taking another look at how things have played out which has led to my decision to end things. It enabled me to think what’s possible if things were different, if we were different, or if we choose to try again.

I said yes to these second chances with open eyes and a more open heart – fully understanding what’s at stake and what could go wrong – again. It feels like walking on eggshells on some days and free-diving on others; it’s both limiting and liberating.

I deem these three things worthy of second chances, despite the effort I have to put into them and the leaps in consciousness I have to take, because in the undercurrent I sense a tenderness – life’s way of offering me the chance to forgive and  trust again on a whole new level.

Transitions. Liberation.

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, Life path, Manifestation, The Self

Circumstances don’t change. It’s us who do.

upCircumstances remain the same because all probabilities co-exist at the same time – what could happen already has, already is. Our focus determines which reality we experience. Pivot a bit in a different direction and our whole perspective changes. It could even feel like a completely different world at times.

When we feel like circumstances have changed it’s because we have changed.

It’s the will and the effort that we’ve put onto ourselves that transform our life.

 

What’s your Self-Love Story?

Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

couple2For those in a relationship: If I ask you “What’s the greatest challenge you have overcame or are going through now with your life partner?” and “Is there any pattern you have noticed in all your intimate relationships so far? If yes, what is it?” What answers jumped off the bat?

Like any unhealed wound, a part of yourself is in need of healing and it will come through in all ways that might get your attention.

It can manifest through a pattern in a relationship, something that gets you stuck in a loop of some sort – acting out similar situations with similar people.

To me the greatest challenge I have had peace with was my fear of abandonment. Like most stubborn fears, it’s rooted in childhood. I grew up with an emotionally (and physically for the most part, too) unavailable father. My parents were in a codependent marriage. My mother felt abandoned and unloved for the majority of their relationship. I am the eldest, too, which has put me in a position to experience the emotional chaos firsthand. My parents had me when they were in their early 20’s. They were basically kids, themselves, who were forced to grow up.

I had a series of relationships during my twenties with guys who were unavailable, too, in all sorts of ways. It almost always ended up with me getting hurt, feeling guilty and embarrassed. After so many “second” chances I had been given and I had taken to start again and make things right – I finally did it. I took a good look at myself, gave my full love and attention to the unhealed child in me, and ended up the long cycle of abandonment that I was trapped in.

Little did I know that it was just the beginning of healing.

What happened next was one of the most beautiful things that happened in my life – my relationship with my current partner. It’s not a coincidence that the love of my life happens to be from another continent, 15 hours away by plane from me. Almost everyone I know didn’t believe in long-distance relationships. To them it never works and never will.  We’re on our third year together this year and we’ve known each other for four – and we’re just getting started 😉

This is the second volume of my healing. By being in a long-distance relationship I was able to make further peace with my fear of abandonment. I was able to ace the challenge of growing together with my partner in a loving and intimate relationship despite being geographically separated. We’d only see each other anytime between four and eight months at a time, and we have the six to seven hour time difference on a daily basis.

Like any kind of healing, this has caused me to be grounded again, to feel more supported again not only by a partner but by life itself – and not only by life itself, but above all by ME.

I felt abandoned for so long because the painful truth was – I’ve abandoned myself over and over again by making decisions not out of self-love but out of self-lack. I simply repeated patterns I grew up with instead of making conscious, empowered choices.

Isn’t it sweet how all our challenges – especially the most stubborn ones – lead to the same thing? Deep, juicy, bottomless, nourishing Self-Love.

What’s your self-love story? 🙂

 

Turning Fear into our Greatest Ally

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

lostDo you know a cool way to determine how much you’ve grown?

Look back a few years from now, a few months from now, even a few weeks, days, hours and minutes from now – and identify which fears you have tamed, mastered, overcame. Really scan your body, your memories for those things that used to make you feel suneasy, terrified, anything that has kept you from doing certain things you’ve wanted to do.

List those fears that are your fears no more.

I see those as stepping stones. Some even feel like mountain ranges, volcanoes, and even heavenly bodies crashing into earth.

No matter how big or small we perceive them to be, how life-changing they may have been, they have taken us this far in our journey. They are our warrior trophies.

It’s not only a good way of reflecting how much we have grown but also a good way of reframing our perspective towards fear itself. By having this new outlook, it becomes possible to look at fear not as something to be avoided at all cost but as something to be curious about.

Fear has the key to the next level of our journey. It leads us to the door of our further expansion.

Some of the fears I have overcame were:

Fear of saying “No”. Fear of saying I don’t want this certain (insert situation, relationship, habit, way of living, etc.) anymore. Knowing well the consequences and still stepping on the brakes. Against all odds, choosing my own well-being and integrity.

Confronting the truth of another person. Facing the fact that the person I loved, admired, trusted, good friends with may actually be unhealthy for me. Accepting their humanity and letting my ideations of them go.

Taking chances (fear of rejection and heartache). Going for some of my biggest dreams. Embracing the possibility that I can manifest the career that I wanted. Making the first move to make a loving partnership happen. Going for the things that I deeply wanted with the risk of getting rejected and beaten. Going for them, anyway.

Putting my art (and inevitably, myself) out there (again, fear of rejection and embarrasment). Believing that me and my art have a place in this world, that we are meant to be seen. That somewhere out there, there are those who will be entertained and/or inspired by what we are aching to offer.

Being alone (and not “making it”). Yes, even the most introverted person like me can still have fears of being alone. I love solitude so much and I need it like a fish needs to be in the water. Despite the fact, I used to have this existential fear – that I’m sure most of us can resonate with – of uncertainty whether I can really be autonomous over my life. You know what I did? I embraced that fear. I ended codependent relationships, stopped chasing things that were obviously running away from me, I traveled solo, I built my path with my bare hands and feet – tried and failed, tried and failed – and then tried and succeeded.

This approach has helped me a lot! It’s handy especially during those times when I feel like a total loser, like I’m not really going anywhere and I’m just running in place. Fear has a powerful way of holding us hostage in our own life, in our own mind. But by flipping the switch of our perspective, we can turn fear from being our worst foe into our greatest ally.

May your fears lead you the way to your own alignment.

Togetherness is only possible through Solitude

Healing, Life path, The Self

vinesAt some point we must confront the reality of our solitude; because it’s only through the fullness of experiencing our temporal solitary existence that genuine togetherness is made possible.

It can easily slip off our attention since it’s our default reality, like a fish in the water, but it’s in fact, one of the core facets (if not the major one) of being incarnated in a physical form – to be separated and alone.

Isn’t the journey about experiencing oneself, learning, expanding and finding our way back home?
Wiser, deeper – to wholeness, to unity.