A Leap in Perspective

Authenticity, Career, Creative Living, Healing, Life path, Life's Work, People & Relationships, The Self

I used to think that the only way I could fully live a spiritual life and be in an ecosystem of inspiring one another was by somehow working in the healing/intuitive arts. Lately though, probably as part of my spiritual progression, I’ve learned that –

1. If that is true, then that is very limiting. Not everyone is in or even comes close to the vicinity of healing/intuitive arts. How can we reach those/everybody if we just stay there? I don’t think the Universe is designed to be that way. If anything, we should spread out, expand ourselves, immerse ourselves in unfamiliar situations, engage with people who are different from us in some ways. In the process, learn, grow, be more integrated.

2. We are, by default, living spiritual lives because we are spiritual/energetic beings having a physical experience. We CANNOT NOT be spiritual.

3. Where else is best to live this so called full spiritual life other than where we already are doing what we already do?

Now I think that the goal is actually not to be a healer/a guide/a mentor/or just a spiritual person by profession or by being validated by a particular organization or institution, but to be all these things and so much more simply by choosing to embrace our truest self, our essence – which is love and light – and to show up in the world everyday embodying these where we are and with whoever we interact with.

We have all been touched by “common” people in profound ways;

be it a hairstylist who has shown us great love and compassion when we’re heartbroken, a stranger in the bus who radiated joy and kindness when we felt hopeless towards life, a family member who offered us advice we needed at that time, a colleague who we never thought of as a friend but who suddenly got our back during one of our personal storms, a deceased artist whose works have inspired us to take risks and go for our dreams.

To others, we have played these roles, too, without us knowing about it. We’ll never fully know the mark we leave on each other.

We gotta check in with ourselves. If our inquiry and path naturally leads us to the healing/intuitive arts then great and that will surely benefit all of us. If not, we must have the faith that probably where we are right now is where we can best grow and be of service to others.

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Forgive

Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

Forgiveness is inevitable if one longs to be free and fully at peace.

We may be blinded at times, mistaking our anger for self-love or self-righteousness, when in reality, it’s our last ditch effort to hold on to the past, to cling so desperately to what’s no longer serving us out of fear of the unknown.

Sometimes our inability to forgive merely signifies our reluctance to say goodbye.

We’re the only ones who can hold ourselves in prison. We have the key.

This process is internal. We need not even do anything interactive. No need to talk to the other person, not even to write a farewell note. This process may climax to a particular event – but this remains mostly in solitude. Forgiveness happens on a spiritual plane. It’s simply a release – of everything we’ve been holding on to that’s no longer serving us; our pain, our grudges, our disappointments, false hopes, regrets and all else in between and beyond.

It’s unpacking our heavy load so we can proceed with our journey with more energy.

If we wanna move forward, if we want to live our life to the fullest…we must forgive.

Loving the Skin I’m In

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, The Self

do it

It’s probably a natural byproduct of my recent spiritual spurt, this desire to be out in the sun.

I suddenly found myself looking forward to sunny days, so I can lie down in our balcony, bask myself under the sky and soak the sun’s healing energy. It’s become part of my routine. Whenever I can, I would take Munchkin out for a walk as well, sniffing on plants and getting all messy in the mud.

I’ve learned to like my tan, too. In fact, I feel more like myself now that I am brown AF.

I’ve always been on the dark side of the spectrum. However, I didn’t always like getting darker because, just like the majority of Filipinos, I, too, believed that darker skin tones were less attractive. There were even times when I would consume all kinds of skin-whitening products from soap, to toner, to lotion, to glutathione pills and injections. I was also reluctant to participate in outdoor activities to “preserve” whatever fairness I had.

This 180 degree change in my attitude was liberating. Now, I could fully embrace both – my joy to be out in nature and my natural complexion.

I did my research before immersing myself in this new routine of sunbathing, because like many others, I, too have been indoctrinated to believe that sun caused more damage than good. I was surprised to read many articles disproving these kinds of claims, and more surprised to know that there’s no single actual research that directly links sun exposure to melanomas. What we have been made to believe in was merely a sweeping generalization which has actually caused more harm than good. We have been sold all these sun screens and skin products which can supposedly protect us from the sun, despite the fact that they contain harmful, carcinogenic chemicals. This has also resulted to a deficiency in Vitamin D in certain groups of people, particularly those with lighter skin, which has been causing a plethora of illnesses beyond cancer.

It’s interesting to note what the people around me say about my new tanned skin. I’ve been getting a lot of compliments, ironically, even from people who put fair skin tones on a pedestal. Some were baffled. They couldn’t seem to understand why someone would want to be darker, so they kept quiet and kind of stared at me from a distance. Some, I felt, flatly rejected it. The rest simply gave me advice as to how I should sunbathe even though they didn’t sunbathe themselves. They spewed their internalized misconceptions at me about the supposedly harms of the sun, even though they couldn’t back up these claims.

Anyway, it’s been great! I’ve become an official Sun Child again.

The Sun doesn’t only provide me with body food, but also with soul food.

It’s helping me become more and more of who I really am. I’m lucky because it’s abundant where I live and it’s for free! So yay! 😀

You Can Love from a Distance

Faith, Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

key

I’ve been on the fence regarding a particular relationship lately. This person has betrayed me, the people I love and continues to live a life of lies. It’s not easy for me to let go because he’s family. I’ve forgiven him though, and I’m at the point where I don’t know whether to cut ties or to make an effort to start anew. Neither seems to resonate with my spirit. I feel the capacity to love him unconditionally despite everything; however, this love comes from a higher place and I’m still grounded in this physical, earthly existence. I still have my earthly concerns; I’m still bounded by earthly laws.

I got my answer last night, as usual, as a mix of clairvoyant and clairaudient message. This is how I’d translated it:

Come up to your higher self and love him unconditionally, at the same time keep yourself grounded. Don’t avert your eyes from the truth.

Imagine yourself as a tree. As a tree, you don’t need to go after him to express your love. You may simply stay where you are, grounded in your spot. Let your love radiate. Let it bleed through your roots, into the earth and towards all life forms. Let it seep through your branches, up to your leaves and into the atmosphere.

Trust in nature’s ability to synthesize your love into various forms. She always does this.

You can love like this. This is still love. A certain distance will keep yourself protected. Your well-being matters, too. It matters the most.

Everywhere is love. All is made of love, anyway. Trust that life will take care of him even if it’s not, no longer through you.

A Love Note to the Wounded

Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, Personal Stories, The Self

When you’re hurting, don’t cave inside yourself. Keep your heart open. Let love and light fill you in.

You’ll heal only in your vulnerability.

Let the Universe plant a seed where there’s a hole or a sore spot. Let that seed grow with you in light and love. Let it guide you towards the direction of your expansion and your highest joy. Let the plant, the tree keep you grounded.

Let it transform you. Let it reveal your inherent strength and beauty.

Integrate the pain and transmute it. Rise up.

When Things Don’t Make Sense

Faith, Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

There are times when I just couldn’t make sense of a challenging situation. I couldn’t rationalize my way through it to arrive at a logical approach/perspective and I couldn’t seem to unearth the lesson/s it has for me either. These instances make me feel all tied up.

In hindsight, though, when it happens it could only mean any of these (or all) three things:

The lesson/s are not meant for us but for the other person/s involved. We are merely an instrument in his/her/their expansion.

I could even recall getting a clairaudient advice, “Drop it off. It’s none of your business. Leave it to us.”

The situation doesn’t make sense to us because it hasn’t come full circle yet. We need more patience and faith to let events unfold.

When I say faith, I mean “blind faith”. Only that kind of faith can carry us through situations like this. No one can tell how long it’s gonna take before the dust settles, or what will happen next, so we must have the tenacity to be there for the long haul.

We need to learn how to be compassionate and love unconditionally. 

Sometimes things just won’t make sense to our rational, human mind. When this happens, we must go check in with our heart.

You’re doing Well

Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

We’ve all been there whether we admit it to ourselves or not – we feel stuck in our limited perception of our humanity, we believe we can’t change or that we don’t even need to change, we feel undeserving of any form of help, we feel worse when others reach out to love us and see the light in us when we secretly detest ourselves. Shame and insecurity are so wide-spread, yet at the same time they’re two of the things we are mostly resistant to speak about.

When we have made a decision that has caused pain to ourselves and others, when despite our wisdom we betray our own values and neglect our own needs, when we let the hurting parts of ourselves get the better of us, when we can’t seem to get out of the pit we have dug ourselves into, when all of our efforts seem to just backfire – we act like a little kid again; powerless in the face of the “real world”. We put ourselves in a corner as a form of self-punishment.

What would a loving adult tell a little scared and discouraged kid?

“You did well! Everything’s alright. Failing is part of the learning process. When you’re ready, try again. I’m here for you every step of the way.”

Does it resonate? We wouldn’t badmouth the kid and go ahead punishing her/him if we come from a place of love, right?

Growing old doesn’t give us the right to be harsh to ourselves. We still haven’t figured out everything – in fact, the wiser among us realize that we know less and less as we age – therefore, we will still fail to do what is right for us, and we still even need to figure out what that “right” means for us as well.

If you’re in a similar situation or if someone in your life is – tell your/her/his inner kid,

“You’re doing well. You’re showing up in your own life and this results to experiencing a variety of things – some you like and others you do not. What matters is that you learn from them and that you continue to have the heart to proceed.  Move forward when you’re ready, but also know that you deserve to get all the rest and support that you need.”

An Open Letter to a Broken Heart

Faith, Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

the love

If you’re holding a broken heart, if you’re sore, swollen, bruised, battle-scarred, torn apart – Know that you are infinitely blessed.

If you are hungry for affection, empathy, unconditional understanding and love and you know you are capable of providing that to someone/something else, if you’ve seen yourself love that way – know that this love must exist everywhere around you, and this love must find its way to meet you.

The love that you can provide is the same love that you need, and the same love that has the capacity to envelop you, lift you higher and nourish you inside-out.

If you see Source when you look at the eyes of your beloved, know that the one seeing – you – is the Source, too. How you see your beloved is how Source sees you – and a lot more, something immeasurable to the human mind.

Your broken heart may seem like a burden to you at the moment, but the truth is it’s your greatest treasure. If you have a huge capacity to feel hurt, it means you have a huge capacity to feel love. Let your infinite capacity to love heal your own pain.

Let the love you give out find its way back to you by directing that love towards yourself first.

Your heart is at the right place. All is well.

Why do we Relapse?

Healing, The Self

Okay, let’s say we get it right for a couple of days, for a few weeks, a few months and even a few years. Then at some point during our progress, we relapse, we go back to our old problematic situation – may it be a previous lifestyle, a disposition, relationships, habits, and just the very thing – anything – we have set our mind to get over with for good.

Why does this happen?

I know it’s frustrating and sometimes complex, but the answer can also be as simple as this:

Because we stop working on it.

Any kind of change worthy of our effort needs our dedication just like physical work out. We gotta do it regularly and even level up the intensity if we want to see progress. Our muscles get back to how they were or even in worse shape when we stop working out. We can’t just work out intensely for a few months and expect that it’s gonna do it for the rest of our lives. We need to be continuously on it, regardless if we’re in the mood or not for it, regardless if we feel like we’re getting back to how we were or not…yet. We usually stop when it either gets better or worse – and things are always gonna go either way, anyway.

Healthy habits have to be practiced consciously, consistently, especially when it’s difficult, since those times are probably when we are at our most vulnerable…to hit a wall or relapse.

Many of us think that we can just get over something for good.

Maybe scientifically, technically, yes, there are qualifiers and there is a need to do that as well. But not essentially. It’s a pretty subjective matter and things are open-ended until, well, we die. We just cannot get over our humanity until then. We are always subject to evolution.

Likewise, we may need to stamp on an issue for our own self-esteem and peace of mind, and that is certainly not a bad thing to do if doing so actually helps. However, for many of us, this only puts an intolerable pressure that backfires when we realize we can’t keep up with our own expectations. This only makes us more critical of ourselves and of others which can lead us into another (maybe worse) downward spiral.

What helped me with my struggle with chronic depression and my fears of relapsing (again) was accepting that it’s probably gonna be one of crosses until I die. I am probably more likely to be depressed because of how I am wired and there’s certainly nothing I can do to change that, and I wouldn’t want to, anyway. It’s only after being able to accept it that I felt powerful over it again.

It’s a struggle and also a beacon of light for me, guiding me on how I should be taking care of myself. It’s a constant reminder of all the healthy habits I should be embodying, not out of fear, but out of genuine self-awareness and self-love. It reminds me of how I won the battles of my life, which only proves how indestructible my spirit is, which only inspires me to move forward in my path.

Many times, I have wished, too, of a button that we could simply press to transform ourselves and our lives with for once and for all. But eventually I have realized what’s the point of life then if such a thing existed?

The narratives of our lives are about our struggles, transformations and triumphs. The Universe hopes that we learn to appreciate them more; to see them as beautiful and full of meaning – and to just. keep. going.

Sometimes what we really need is Solitude and some serious inner work, not Catharsis

Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

communication

When I was in my early twenties, I used to obsess on getting my communication “right”. I just had to come to the person directly or put my thoughts into writing to “clear things up”. I neither stopped to assess whether she/he was ready for it nor if I should even bother talking about the issue at all. I thought I was being mature. Because I was a writer, I even thought that getting into the roughest details was a gift I was offering. When I wasn’t doing those, I would turn to my friends for a ranting spree. To my surprise, more conflict only gravitated towards me as a result, and those people who I sincerely wanted to be in good terms with only end up hating me. Voila! I have hurt them in vain.

There are still times, even at this point, when I would be “completely honest” thinking that that was what was needed to iron out a situation, or to give myself peace of mind, only to find out in horror how bad an idea it was.

On the other hand, I’ve been able to resolve deep seated issues without ever talking or writing to the person who I felt has hurt me or talking about it with anybody. I have successfully worked through them myself, armed with my connection with the Divine. It may have taken me years, and even decades, to do that, but I know that there’s no better way to go through my healing, anyway.

I think I’ve pretty much lived long enough and I have fucked up enough as well to assess both scenarios.

Now I am in a pretty confident place to say that communication with others is not always necessary for closure and healing to take place (nor does ranting about it). It may not even be beneficial.

Here are my points on why I think that is so:

1. First of all, let’s be honest, a heart-to-heart dialogue is not really the rule in our reality, but an exception. 

Thinking that it should take place before healing or resolution can take place is a sure and fast way to disempower ourselves. We are never in control of anybody else, and expecting them to cooperate with our idea of “mature resolution” only hands them the upper hand. By doing so we are trapped in convincing them to behave and feel a certain way first before we can get to our desired disposition.

We need to validate ourselves instead.

2. People are usually in different levels of consciousness. 

Yes, even if they’re identical twins who have lived their lives sleeping in the same bedroom.

It’s not merely about experiencing the same situation differently, but more importantly, having different abilities and filters by which to perceive and interpret life experiences in general. People have, more often than not, extremely contrasting interests due to a variety of factors like their age, nationality, temperament, upbringing, current struggles, how they define pleasure, how they want their life to be, and so on and so forth.

The reality is, sometimes, some people just won’t be able to meet halfway. Sometimes we just can’t be on the same page with another person and no amount of “honest talk” can change that.

Sometimes, the only thing that can heal up a conflict is, as the cliche goes, time…and I would add, mindful silence.

Forcing people to reconcile at this stage usually only backfires.

3. We need more time to process our emotions than we usually think.

When I mean more time, I mean, we sometimes need years, decades even and tons of life experiences in between for our thoughts and emotions to percolate.

Sometimes our initial opinions and feelings about what just happened/what is happening are not really what we’ll find when the dust settles.

This is why barging through the door and airing out our opinions, prematurely, sometimes only stunt or totally annihilate whatever resolution is brewing underneath.

Sometimes what we need is to reach a certain level of maturity first to view the same situation in a more realistic way.

4. Some Many things are better left unsaid. 

Expressing ourselves without filters on can feel good. But this movement about “be yourself, express yourself” doesn’t teach us to embody this with caution.

Well definitely we can be in-your-face honest with a few people who we can justify this behavior with. But when we are talking about people who matter to us and who we have genuine, caring relationships with, taking this advice at face value could do more harm than good.

There are some things that, may be true for us, but that may just hurt them to no avail. We need to check with ourselves first and ask, “Will expressing these things move our relationship to a deeper level? Will it lead to a better understanding of some sort or will this just blur out my good intentions?”

We need to be cautious about the thin line between “brutally honest” and “brutally critical” if what we really desire for is a peaceful resolution and a higher level of awareness (many times “brutally honest” won’t even make the cut.)

Sometimes, taking a step back, is what we have to do instead to save a relationship and/or all the goodness that are worth saving.

5. Sometimes what we really need is solitude and some serious inner work, not catharsis. 

Venting out our emotions may feel good, really good. But it doesn’t always lead to integration and growth.

In truth, getting into the habit of talking about our issues, may even be the very thing that holds us back and keeps us in a cycle of frustration.

By not taking enough time to be alone with our own thoughts and feelings we are robbing ourselves of the opportunity to know ourselves more. If our initial response to them is to turn to others, instead of listening to them in the privacy of our own spirit, we will surely miss all the valuable information they have in store for us which can guide us into making decisions and changes that are good for us.

Likewise, crises’ purpose is to usher us into a higher level of consciousness. They’re meant to assist us in remembering our true divine nature and what life is really about. On the surface it may look like we’re having an issue with another person, but if we take the time to go inwards, we’ll always see that it’s pointing at something about ourselves that we need to heal.

I’d say any day that addressing that internal issue first is more important than working on resolving an external, interpersonal one. Efforts put on the latter before the former would be futile, anyway.

Communication with others is not always necessary for closure and healing to take place. It may be a part of them or a result of them, but definitely not a prerequisite. We all have the capacity to go through these processes on our own – and sometimes, in truth, that’s what we need to be doing.