Many times I find myself not being able to delegate tasks when I have to, thinking that it’s easier if I just do them myself. Maybe that’s true to some extent. But maybe easier shouldn’t always be the goal, and maybe it’s only easier in a short period of time. Maybe the cost of doing it because it’s easier now will cost me more later on.
Maybe it’s costing me more now.
Maybe it’s time for me to learn how to love the chaos of the process. Maybe it matters more that we are growing. Maybe it’s less about getting it right each and every time.
It doesn’t matter if it’s short or long, written in whatever language you prefer.
You can have it handwritten, printed, scrapbooked if you like. You don’t need fancy covers. So what if it doesn’t hit the shelves of your favorite bookstores? No group or critic needs to fucking give their verdict – none of that is needed.
What matters is that you create your own story. Live your own way. Add a few more splash of colors into this world. Leave it a little more interesting – a little more changed.
Somewhere, somehow, in a corner of an old unlit room – your story will be a comfort and fire to someone who needs it.
Live bravely, knowing that you are also paving the way for someone else.
“What’s different about me this year in comparison to who I was last year?”, I ask myself.
Well, I think I’m pretty much the same. I just think I’m more daring now. Daring in ways I wasn’t before. Daring and more comfy in my own skin. Daring and more at peace with uncertainty. Daring and more at ease with owning my mistakes. Daring and more confident with my personal standards and desires. Daring and more trusting in life. Daring and more tender in my relationships.
Stepping onto this phase of my life feels like a warm, thick familiar coffee. You look forward to it. It’s homey in its own special way. It also feels like a prize you know you so well deserved.
“Is it true that life is a mirror and everything around me is just a reflection of me?”, I asked in my meditation this morning.
As usual, animal spirit guides would appear and have the most profound conversations with me. This time it was a white female wolf who answered my inquiry. She said,
“That’s true – but only partly true. I ask you, if there is a mirror in front of you but you choose not to look, would you still see your reflection? Does the type of mirror affect how you see yourself? Let’s say you choose to look at a mirror which reflects an angle of your face or your body that you don’t like, won’t this make you conclude that you’re ultimately unlikable and generally unattractive?
This is a world of mirrors, yes, but not all are created equal. You must use your own power of discernment. There are no right or wrong mirrors to look at. But there is one thing that determines whether this world of mirrors serves you or not – Intention.
Your intention determines whether you choose to look at a mirror or not, your intention determines which mirrors to look at, your intention determines which parts of yourself you want to shed a light on and magnify.
This is not to immerse yourself in self-denial at the expense of your own growth. But to use the power of focus to grow that which is life-affirming and noteworthy in yourself, in your life.
Why choose to look at a distorted, or worse, a broken mirror?”
All our hard work, efficiency, brilliance, ingenuity won’t mean anything if what we do doesn’t bring out our most authentic selves, doesn’t bring us closer to each other and doesn’t make us feel more at home, more grounded where we are.
If you’re too fast too soon there’s a high chance that you’ll get tired fast, too, and that you won’t be able to maintain a pace that can last you a long while.
On the other hand, if you warm yourself up first, get your focus right and allow yourself to reach your natural optimal pace, you become more equipped to stay in the game longer – and even get better as you go. As the journey progresses, you may even surpass a lot of those who started at top speed, those who were initially ahead of you.
As the saying goes, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” You’re here for the long haul. You’re here to evolve.
It’s not just about how fast you go, at the end of the day it’s about the quality of the journey you create. Is it pleasant to you for the most part or does it feel more like torture? Are you enjoying the sights and sounds? The insights you get? The ways you’re growing? The company of the people you share experiences with?
Do you have the soul-space to be fully present in each moment and savor the last drop of it or do you keep on wishing it’s over?
How do you think the people around you perceive you and your journey? Do you think they feel inspired just by looking at how you go through it and by who you are becoming because of it? Or do you end up discouraging them before they even begin embarking on their own?
These questions are as important as the ones we ask ourselves everytime we’re plotting our course and defining our goals.
Our intentions frame the choices we make, and the choices we make end up creating the kind of life we live.
Get clear with your intentions. Set your own pace. Build yourself to last – and have a good time!
Circumstances remain the same because all probabilities co-exist at the same time – what could happen already has, already is. Our focus determines which reality we experience. Pivot a bit in a different direction and our whole perspective changes. It could even feel like a completely different world at times.
When we feel like circumstances have changed it’s because we have changed.
It’s the will and the effort that we’ve put onto ourselves that transform our life.