Activities · History · People · Relationships · Religion · Self

My conversation with Jesus – Part 1 (The Cross, Life on Earth and Religions)

Without planning it, I found myself sitting inside a Catholic Church at 5 pm yesterday. There were only about five of us inside. The space was the typical Church – it was huge – like it could fit 200-300 people, the ceiling was high, the doors were all open and birds flew around. I sat just face-to-face with the altar – the crucifixion in the center.

I just focused on Jesus in the cross. Intuitively – I asked him my nagging question:

Me: Why are you there? Why are you hanging in that cross? Why did you decide to let that happen?

Jesus: It’s true. I could have not let this happen to me. I could have argued against it, I could have revolted against it or I could simply have run away. But I didn’t. I let the events unfold. I let it happen. Why? Because logic was not what was called for at that time. I knew the only way I could’ve made a mark was by getting crucified without a struggle. If I simply relied on logic and my words I would’ve been able to make my point.

Me: And what was your point?

Jesus: Look, each human goes through similar events. Of course not everyone can (and should) go through exactly what I’ve been through – be crucified or be held on the spotlight (for better or worse – like the famous leaders before and after me). But the mere instance of incarnating into Earth in a physical form – that’s already a crucifixion in itself.

Each of you has been crucified in a way to your physical form and your physical environment – with all your needs, weaknesses and impulses. You’re crucified to time and space – you cannot be everywhere at the same time, you get born and you have to die.

My carrying of my cross and being crucified on it afterwards is just a blatant depiction of what each human goes through – you carry your physical existence like a cross because of course, everybody knows in the Universe that it’s not easy to live on Earth. It’s heavy – even heavier and bigger than you, and walking with it is needless to say, a life and death struggle. Likewise, you’re the only one who can carry it. Some may carry it for you for a time – but this defeats the purpose so you’ll eventually have to carry it again yourself – for the rest of your journey. Others will walk with you and comfort you – and this will help you make it through.

Your cross – your physical existence – is your cross and also your salvation. After all has been done, you’ll resurrect and ascend again and be a part of Spirit/Source which you all came from…then eventually when you’re ready, you’ll plan your next reincarnation.

What exactly is the highlight of my story – and what Christianity likes to highlight as well? My Resurrection. My Ascension. The fact that I rose from the dead and lived forever. Human history never forgets this truth – that life on Earth is temporary. This truth may have been twisted and used in many disempowering ways by some but if you dig into it – you’ll still see its purity. This truth has been preserved because it has helped humanity in making through physical existence.

Forget about being crucified for humanity’s sins – nobody can save anybody else but herself/himself and her/his personal connection to Source. I didn’t save – nor intend to save – anybody else but myself. Going through the way of your life’s cross and your own crucifixion was what I wanted to show, ’cause I knew that’s the path to resurrection, ascension and further expansion.

Each religion creates its own version of a story because it has its own intentions and political agenda. It doesn’t mean religions are useless or just plain destructive – it just means that they are a reflection of the current times. They have to evolve, too. People turn away from religions once they no longer resonate with their expansion. Therefore as humanity evolves and reaches a higher vibration, religions have to evolve, too.

If there are things that turn you off in your religion – then simply don’t accept them. Just like in any situation, use your own discernment and ability to think critically. Source has equipped you with your own mind and freewill – use them. Don’t turn your back against religion altogether simply because you don’t agree with some things about it – you might miss many important lessons it can offer you.

(to be continued…)

Activities · Self · Tarot Readings

I’ve got company ❤

I just got my Archangel Oracle deck! I’ve ordered this online and I’ve been waiting for weeks.  The timing of its arrival cannot be more perfect!

I am a self-taught tarot reader. I’ve been using the same deck for 8 years now which my father gave to me. I purchased another one a few years ago but couldn’t make myself read it – I just couldn’t connect with it. Tara (how I call my first deck) and I have been throught a lot and while we can still connect with each other – I have changed so much in these past 8 years so it just made sense to need a new deck.

At first I had doubts if I could make myself read the cards since they were made mainly for intuitive readings. After my first few readings though…it dawned on me that yes, I am ready for this. I’ve been diligently preparing myself for this with the full support of the Universe. I am able to prepare my mind faster and channel divine messages.

I’m excited to know more about the archangels and teach myself on how to channel their messages better. Above all, I, myself, am open and ŕeady for further transformation. Quoting the angels upon their arrival, “Let’s get the party started!”.

Activities · Tarot Readings

A new star project

After procrastinating for days, I have finally begun creating a blog for my personal interpretations on Lucy Cavendish’s Oracle Tarot deck – my first ever card deck which I have been using for 8 years now.

It consists of 62 cards. I don’t know how for the love of heavens I’m gonna finish writing about each card. It’s one thing to verbally interpret the cards – it’s another thing to write about them. But the inspiration came to me – and there is no way I’m gonna ignore it and shove it under the bed out of laziness. When I receive the inspiration to start something, I often, if not always follow through it up to its fruition.

Maybe there are people out there who are gonna benefit from what I write – like how I highly benefit from reading other people’s tarot card interpretations online. Who knows? Maybe I’m the only person on this planet who has actually worked with this deck this long – and my insights deserve a place on the world wide web.

Should I put a timeline to it? Probably. It doesn’t make sense to spend another 8 years finishing the blog. LOL. FYI I’ll only publish it when its officially complete. *crossfingers

Activities · People · Relationships · Self

The path of Forgiveness

One has to go through anger to reach forgiveness.

The Universe has been tirelessly pointing out to me that what I had to do to move forward was to forgive – LOL I didn’t even know I was so angry!

I used to be a runaway. I have developed a bad habit of running away from confrontations. I always believed that there’s no point to discuss, assert and speak up because people’s minds are closed off, anyway. I always thought going through messy times was just a waste.

I was given the chance (for the nth time!) to redeem myself and correct my unhealthy attitude and habit – and I took it. I willingly went through the tunnel of my frustrations, pain and anger towards people and myself. I squirmed, I rolled my eyes, I pushed back. I screamed in disgust and retaliation. It was horrible. I felt horrible – but only for a short while.

Despite it all, I let my higher self lead the way. I listened to my spirit guides, my angels – the all-ever-knowing Universe. I trusted them beyond my ability to trust (LOL swear) to guide me along. I stayed in the path. I sucked it up…and let it all go.

I have been proven wrong many, many times.

I didn’t even know that my lack of trust for practically almost everyone around me has been restricting my life – and my joy. I didn’t know that my anger was robbing me off with all the fun and love that wanted to get near me.

While it was not all sunshine and butterflies – many ugly truths reared its head out, too – what left an impact on me was the truth that the world was not against me – I was neither a victim nor a fucking bitch (for feeling so angry). Yeah, people fucked up and I was dragged into their mess and ego issues. People have hurt me and I felt betrayed quite a few times. Despite all of this, though, I have realized that nobody intentionally wanted to hurt me.

I am still learning how to forgive – I am not yet there. My steps are lighter, though – I feel more capable of moving forward now. Forgiveness really is key because anger causes our perspective to cloud. When we can’t see things as clear as possible we inevitably misinterpret every single thing – and this leads us to the path that is not right for us.

Forgiving is not about forcing ourselves to accept what happened – it’s about learning how to release it.

This is a skill and it takes time to learn (read: I’m still learning how to take the middle ground and neither fall into passive-aggressive silence nor half people with an ax) – but once we’ve mastered it, we would be able to magnify how we live our lives multiple times over. I used to to avoid the path of forgiveness and reroute to another, thinking I could get away without it – this time, I’m glad I didn’t.

Activities · Self

At the core of love is strength

Your heart can be soft and gentle, compassionate and forgiving – most of all because, at the core of your heart, at the core of love is strength.

Love is not passive. Love is not afraid. Love is built on courage. Love is founded on eternal truths.

Following your heart is not about rainbows and butterflies all the time. It’s a heroine’s journey. Prepare for soul-crushing battles and glorious triumphs alike.

Activities · Self

Choosing between the path of the ego and the path of your Spirit

Sometimes, we don’t get what we hope for and we think we must be cursed or undeserving. Other times, we get exactly what we hoped for – and maybe more – and  end up feeling damned, too, because then we’re faced with the dilemma of picking the right thing and of course we don’t want to make a mistake.

This can happen in any area of our life, but as a multipassionate person I am quite familiar with this scene. I didn’t know it could be THAT a big deal though until this thing happened to me…

I’ve been working on some career goals these past few months – really grinding it out like a modern careerist. The prizes I’ve been reaching for have always been beyond of my reach and were given to somebody else. I felt disappointed and hurt a few times. Until my calling pulled me in and revealed itself to me completely. But just when I said yes to it and said no to my modern careerist goals – the prizes I’ve been reaching out for dangled themselves in front of me, all tempting and sexy.

I will kid you not – it sucker punched me. I could still remember the day it happened – I felt sick, my tummy was so acidic that I had a hard time speaking and walking.

Then I asked the angels why they were confusing me. I was only able to hear their answer when I calmed down (and stopped being antagonistic) and my tummy felt normal again. This is what they told me:

We are not confusing you. Our stand is the same and we’ve always been consistent. You know very well what this means. All of these “hanging fruits” look tempting and delicious – but are they real? You know very well the answer to that. Tune into your heart and you can easily detect which is true and which isn’t.

BAM. That dawned on me like a waterfall.

I got rattled like a stupid mouse when I saw those prizes in front of me and for a while I forgot my truths. My ego got so excited and revved up with all the treats it can enjoy. But my spirit kept as still as a lotus in a pond. She didn’t even budge. When I checked on her again I got the straightforward answer she always had for me – She (the person who offered me the tempting but fake fruits) was lying to me according to her interests and none of what was being offered would truly fulfill me. My modern careerist goals were driven by my ego, my ambitions and not my genuine desire to serve a higher purpose. I’m well aware that many of those in this current career path may be really coming from a place of service and it may true that it’s their calling. However, that doesn’t ring true for me. It’s also true that while I may be doing well in this (and in many other things, too, like most of us) what would serve the greater good is if I consciously choose the manner by which I would want to get better, the manner by which I’d like to contribute in my own way and last but not the least the manner that is the most meaningful to me.

I know from that experience that t’s not easy to go through a similar situation especially if you’re required to make a quick decision. It’s also difficult and scary to say no to what your ego wants in favor of what would feed your spirit. The ego is louder and more demanding and it can fool you into believing that it has your best interests, that it actually knows what is right for you.

But don’t be fooled – following the ego’s desires will lead you to a path of insecurity and confusion. When you’re living from your ego, you will never feel good enough and you will never truly thrive. You will never be joyful and at peace. How do I know these? I tune into my heart and project myself into 2 very different kinds of futures – one where my ego leads me and another, where my spirit does and I live from the inside-out.

The path of my ego is not the path I want to spend my life on. It may lead me to material wealth and successes but I know it’s not the best use of my lifetime. I don’t want to look back at my life in my deathbed and regret not living the life I know I should have –  the life I could have lived.

How about you? What did you do when you were faced with a similar situation? How did you traverse your crossroads and came up with a decision you had to live with?

Activities · Self

What are your TOP 3 superpowers?

I really like asking people this question. It sounds fun, engaging and insightful. I’m curious not only with the actual answers – but mostly with the internal process of how a person goes through in picking out her/his top 3 superpowers. The answers can give you a glimpse of a person’s values and how she/he defines success.

My TOP 3 superpowers are:

Openness. My long-time motto in life has been: Life is a series of firsts. This basically explains the variety of interests that I have and the life paths I’ve chosen to go through. For some people and in some instances the sketch of my life would simply look chaotic – and me as someone who doesn’t know what she really wants.

Well, for sure it’s also true – but isn’t that normal? Most of us are not sure of what we want to do and usually that sets us up for a lifetime of adventures and breakthroughs. For the most part of my life I’ve been driven by my curiosity – and my desire to master something I totally had no idea about/I haven’t done before. This has led me to discover that changing our course – and sometimes overhauling our lives – is not just necessary, in fact, it’s easy with the right frame of mind and the experience to back us up.

I can choose to see my curious nature as a liability – or an asset. I choose to see it as an asset, instead – in fact, as one of my best assets – grabbing the top spot in my top 3 superpowers. I am able to expand fast because of my openness, and while it’s definitely not always rainbows and sunshine, it enables me to live a life with zero to no regrets at all.

Insight. As an introvert, I am naturally inclined to sit still, observe my surroundings and keep my thoughts to myself. Since I remain silent more often than not, I am able to spend those countless hours and fleeting seconds taking even the subtlest of cues in. I feel my surroundings, I try to understand why people behave the way they do, I always naturally look between the lines – and I rarely tell anyone about my findings. I rarely give my judgments unless I know I have to. These habits have enabled me to create an inner world that is authentic to my spirit – and that is built on nothing but spiritual strength. Inside my world I don’t sugarcoat, I don’t project – all I do is get real and raw. There is no need to pretend.

Likewise, because I naturally do these things, anyway – events and people don’t surprise me much. I kind of can read outcomes before they happen, not because I have advanced senses than the average person, but only because I pay more focused attention even when I practically don’t have to. I’ve tried comparing my insightful/intuitive skills  a few times with those who professionally work as psychics. I have proven that we just had different ways of accessing the same kinds of insights/information, but our abilities are pretty much the same (and I won’t even be considered a psychic by any means). There have been countless instances, too, when people have delivered news to me to which they expected that I would naturally be surprised – but since I was able to sense them beforehand, the news didn’t surprise me at all (and I had to pretend I was surprised just so I won’t look like a psychopath).

My power of insight is an asset because a.) I can prepare for most things and change the direction of how things are going if need be – in short, I have more control of what usually would be out of people’s control b.) I don’t have any problems with giving an honest feedback (especially to myself), when asked for my opinion/when necessary.

Self-awareness. When I was younger, I didn’t now how to use my self-awareness to my benefit – and it lead to all sorts of evil instead like self-doubt, self-criticism and self-destruction. Through the past decades of my life though, I’ve gradually learned how to master it and use it for beneficial outcomes. My self-awareness have held me back countless times in making decisions that won’t serve me, in  engaging in conversations that would be a waste of energy, time and good intentions, in committing to relationships that are not gonna support my truths or are downright toxic to me and in pursuing activities that would only give me superficial rewards.

My self-awareness has enabled me to keep and grow the relationships in my life that matter to me. It has enabled me to keep my life in harmony and my health always a priority.

Self-awareness is vital because without it nothing we do will be genuine and sustainable. Without it, we will feel lost and anxious – forever guessing our truths and what should we do next. Without self-awareness we cannot rely on ourselves – and no one can rely on us – to come up with evaluations and decisions that are borne out of our own wisdom and convictions.

Those are my TOP 3 superpowers which I have honed for decades and countless challenges. What are yours?

Activities · Self

Meltdowns and breakthroughs

I was sitting in the bus yesterday on my commute to work. Suddenly, I realized that the storm was over. The heavy clouds parted and the sky was clear again that the sunlight can pass through.

I asked myself what happened these past few months. Why did I need to go through those “meltdowns” in all areas of my life.

My logical mind told me that anybody who will go through all of that will probably breakdown, too – LOL. Actually, looking back it totally made sense. Sometimes, no matter how you try to achieve inner balance and calm – there’s really no way to protect yourself from life overwhelming you. It’s true what they say, “when it rains, it pours”.

It’s also true that many times, things just resolve on their own. We end up hurting ourselves because we want to control external events so much.

The chaotic events of the recent months calmed down. It took me a while to see that and adjust my perspective. All I actually did was kept my wits and braved myself enough to go through the whirlwind. It’s insane and I was cursing the entire time. Now I feel like the Universe is giving me a trophy and a big round of applause in the form of all the abundance that I have.

I realized I need to go through that to sharpen my perspective – to learn how to appreciate the truth of my life’s juiciness and all the love that is there. By going through all of that I did not just regain my trust – but I am a lot more trusting now of myself, others and the Universe as a whole – than I was before.

Sometimes, the Universe really has to break us up in order to bring us to another level of wholeness. It’s mind and spirit-fucking yes, but trust me on this – just get your shit together and brace through the storms in your life – it will be worth it.

Activities · People · Relationships · Self · Work

My way to Abundance

Abundance is not just having all your needs and wants met. It’s not just thriving in your own world. I’ve realized that abundance is also the ability to see how the people around you are thriving – and how their abundance relates to you/also becomes possible because of you.

Sometimes we underestimate our impact on others. We don’t know that how we see ourselves, how we see the world, how we live our lives send a ripple effect across all those around us – and even beyond.

I want to be abundant mainly because I want to give back – I want to step up and be an “angel” to others – especially those who’ve been my angels, too.

I want to be abundant because I also want to shower abundance to others especially when they least expect it – because I want them to feel that they are always taken care of, that they can always trust the Universe to provide them with their needs, that it’s true that you reap what you sow. I want to give back because there have been countless times when I received grace when I least expected it – when I least deserved it.

I feel abundant when I don’t have to take a pause and calculate – before I give. I want to give without worrying about my own needs. I want to give when I want to give. I want to give without asking for anything in return. I want to have more and be more so I can share more of what I have and who I am.

The Universe has graced my life with so much abundance and unconditional, immeasurable love. I’m ready now. It’s time for me to be a part of that cycle and this time to be the one who’s on the other end, reaching out her hand to those in need of some support. I want to be one of Universe’s many helping hands.