Pace Yourself

Authenticity, Life path, The Self

standingIf you’re too fast too soon there’s a high chance that you’ll get tired fast, too, and that you won’t be able to maintain a pace that can last you a long while.

On the other hand, if you warm yourself up first, get your focus right and allow yourself to reach your natural optimal pace, you become more equipped to stay in the game longer  – and even get better as you go. As the journey progresses, you may even surpass a lot of those who started at top speed, those who were initially ahead of you.

As the saying goes, “Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” You’re here for the long haul. You’re here to evolve.

It’s not just about how fast you go, at the end of the day it’s about the quality of the journey you create. Is it pleasant to you for the most part or does it feel more like torture? Are you enjoying the sights and sounds? The insights you get? The ways you’re growing? The company of the people you share experiences with?

Do you have the soul-space to be fully present in each moment and savor the last drop of it or do you keep on wishing it’s over?

How do you think the people around you perceive you and your journey? Do you think they feel inspired just by looking at how you go through it and by who you are becoming because of it? Or do you end up discouraging them before they even begin embarking on their own?

These questions are as important as the ones we ask ourselves everytime we’re plotting our course and defining our goals.

Our intentions frame the choices we make, and the choices we make end up creating the kind of life we live.

Get clear with your intentions. Set your own pace. Build yourself to last – and have a good time!



How to Simplify your Life 101

The Self


blackyellow1.Make your mind serve you. 

Overthinking is not the only culprit. How we think can also weigh us down. Self-loathing thoughts are a waste of time and energy – they don’t add value to our life, they don’t assist us with our goals and they even suck our spirits out.

2.Stragetize (don’t worry)

You have limited energy and time to think. Use them wisely. Instead of wasting them on worrying, utilize them in working on a strategy that is reasonable and relevant.

3.Focus on what truly matters to you. 

Only go for the things that move you forward in the direction you want to go. Stop doing things, attending events, that don’t add value to your life.

4. Make up your mind about pending matters. Resolve things as quickly as possible.

Don’t let these concerns squat in your mind and energy. They will diminish your brain power while not contributing anything.

Confront the truth as fast as you can and do something about it that will bring back your peace and power. Likewise, admit if something is beyond your bandwidth at the moment. Choose to let it go.

5.Get rid of things you don’t want to use anymore.

Throw out/give away clothes, things you’ve outgrown. Don’t let them eat up all the space that can be occupied by things that are relevant to you now. Things that excite you now, things that complement who you are right now.

6.Prioritize clarity and comfort.

Wear clothing that allows you freedom to be yourself and freedom to move how you want to. Pace yourself at work (I’ll be writing about this on a separate post pretty soon!). Clarify expectations in your relationships.

Don’t allow yourself to be distracted with things that you can actually do something about.

7. Ask for what you need and when you need it. Be as clear as possible in your request/s.

Learn how to be accountable for meeting your needs and asking for help when you have to. Give others a fair chance in meeting you halfway. Choose peace of mind by being transparent in a grown-up way.

8. Schedule everything!

This matters not only so we won’t forget to do what we are supposed to do but because plotting to-do’s in the calendar also provides us with clarity and fulfillment. It shows us which plans and target outcomes are possible and which are not. It gives us the confidence to follow-through our plan – and be in each moment fully.

9.Don’t do what you don’t have to do.

It sounds silly to say it because it’s so obvious yet it has to be mentioned. Many of us do things we actually can do without out of obligation or unhealthy habits.

10.Get clear  with your boundaries, at least with yourself.

You can’t always explain yourself to others and you don’t always have to. Boundaries are mostly for your benefit since they remind  you where you stand vis-a-vis your highest benefit. Having clear boundaries will make it easier for you to make decisions, including difficult ones.

Transitions. Liberation.

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, Life path, Manifestation, The Self

Circumstances don’t change. It’s us who do.

upCircumstances remain the same because all probabilities co-exist at the same time – what could happen already has, already is. Our focus determines which reality we experience. Pivot a bit in a different direction and our whole perspective changes. It could even feel like a completely different world at times.

When we feel like circumstances have changed it’s because we have changed.

It’s the will and the effort that we’ve put onto ourselves that transform our life.


What’s your Self-Love Story?

Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

couple2For those in a relationship: If I ask you “What’s the greatest challenge you have overcame or are going through now with your life partner?” and “Is there any pattern you have noticed in all your intimate relationships so far? If yes, what is it?” What answers jumped off the bat?

Like any unhealed wound, a part of yourself is in need of healing and it will come through in all ways that might get your attention.

It can manifest through a pattern in a relationship, something that gets you stuck in a loop of some sort – acting out similar situations with similar people.

To me the greatest challenge I have had peace with was my fear of abandonment. Like most stubborn fears, it’s rooted in childhood. I grew up with an emotionally (and physically for the most part, too) unavailable father. My parents were in a codependent marriage. My mother felt abandoned and unloved for the majority of their relationship. I am the eldest, too, which has put me in a position to experience the emotional chaos firsthand. My parents had me when they were in their early 20’s. They were basically kids, themselves, who were forced to grow up.

I had a series of relationships during my twenties with guys who were unavailable, too, in all sorts of ways. It almost always ended up with me getting hurt, feeling guilty and embarrassed. After so many “second” chances I had been given and I had taken to start again and make things right – I finally did it. I took a good look at myself, gave my full love and attention to the unhealed child in me, and ended up the long cycle of abandonment that I was trapped in.

Little did I know that it was just the beginning of healing.

What happened next was one of the most beautiful things that happened in my life – my relationship with my current partner. It’s not a coincidence that the love of my life happens to be from another continent, 15 hours away by plane from me. Almost everyone I know didn’t believe in long-distance relationships. To them it never works and never will.  We’re on our third year together this year and we’ve known each other for four – and we’re just getting started 😉

This is the second volume of my healing. By being in a long-distance relationship I was able to make further peace with my fear of abandonment. I was able to ace the challenge of growing together with my partner in a loving and intimate relationship despite being geographically separated. We’d only see each other anytime between four and eight months at a time, and we have the six to seven hour time difference on a daily basis.

Like any kind of healing, this has caused me to be grounded again, to feel more supported again not only by a partner but by life itself – and not only by life itself, but above all by ME.

I felt abandoned for so long because the painful truth was – I’ve abandoned myself over and over again by making decisions not out of self-love but out of self-lack. I simply repeated patterns I grew up with instead of making conscious, empowered choices.

Isn’t it sweet how all our challenges – especially the most stubborn ones – lead to the same thing? Deep, juicy, bottomless, nourishing Self-Love.

What’s your self-love story? 🙂


Turning Fear into our Greatest Ally

Authenticity, Faith, Healing, Life path, People & Relationships, The Self

lostDo you know a cool way to determine how much you’ve grown?

Look back a few years from now, a few months from now, even a few weeks, days, hours and minutes from now – and identify which fears you have tamed, mastered, overcame. Really scan your body, your memories for those things that used to make you feel suneasy, terrified, anything that has kept you from doing certain things you’ve wanted to do.

List those fears that are your fears no more.

I see those as stepping stones. Some even feel like mountain ranges, volcanoes, and even heavenly bodies crashing into earth.

No matter how big or small we perceive them to be, how life-changing they may have been, they have taken us this far in our journey. They are our warrior trophies.

It’s not only a good way of reflecting how much we have grown but also a good way of reframing our perspective towards fear itself. By having this new outlook, it becomes possible to look at fear not as something to be avoided at all cost but as something to be curious about.

Fear has the key to the next level of our journey. It leads us to the door of our further expansion.

Some of the fears I have overcame were:

Fear of saying “No”. Fear of saying I don’t want this certain (insert situation, relationship, habit, way of living, etc.) anymore. Knowing well the consequences and still stepping on the brakes. Against all odds, choosing my own well-being and integrity.

Confronting the truth of another person. Facing the fact that the person I loved, admired, trusted, good friends with may actually be unhealthy for me. Accepting their humanity and letting my ideations of them go.

Taking chances (fear of rejection and heartache). Going for some of my biggest dreams. Embracing the possibility that I can manifest the career that I wanted. Making the first move to make a loving partnership happen. Going for the things that I deeply wanted with the risk of getting rejected and beaten. Going for them, anyway.

Putting my art (and inevitably, myself) out there (again, fear of rejection and embarrasment). Believing that me and my art have a place in this world, that we are meant to be seen. That somewhere out there, there are those who will be entertained and/or inspired by what we are aching to offer.

Being alone (and not “making it”). Yes, even the most introverted person like me can still have fears of being alone. I love solitude so much and I need it like a fish needs to be in the water. Despite the fact, I used to have this existential fear – that I’m sure most of us can resonate with – of uncertainty whether I can really be autonomous over my life. You know what I did? I embraced that fear. I ended codependent relationships, stopped chasing things that were obviously running away from me, I traveled solo, I built my path with my bare hands and feet – tried and failed, tried and failed – and then tried and succeeded.

This approach has helped me a lot! It’s handy especially during those times when I feel like a total loser, like I’m not really going anywhere and I’m just running in place. Fear has a powerful way of holding us hostage in our own life, in our own mind. But by flipping the switch of our perspective, we can turn fear from being our worst foe into our greatest ally.

May your fears lead you the way to your own alignment.

How to take your power back? Make more time for Play.

Authenticity, Career, Creative Living, The Self

lizmayvYesterday, in the middle of a busy working Monday, a thought bubble popped out – it said,

“How can I feel more in control of my days? How can I feel like my days – including weekdays – are mine again? How can I bring back my regular everyday bliss from when I still had full control of my schedule?”

This morning when I woke up, I got my answer.

It’s to make more time for Play. By play, I mean, it could be anything at all that we simply do because it’s fun and it allows us to be creative. It lets our mind wander and expand. For one person it could be spending time with animals, for another it could be working out in the gym – for me, it’s thinking on a blank sheet – it’s both drawing and writing, although I tend to write more often these days.

Today since I woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual, I started taking my power back. I started writing at 5 am – before I proceed with my usual daily grind.

Ironic because what playing actually offers us is the space to lose control – yet it’s also the very thing that makes us feel more in control of our life.

Perhaps after all this time we are just spiritual kids inside us. We just want to explore, create and have some a lot of fun!

Even before I started writing this piece, just the thought of writing already lifted my spirits up.

I started feeling more hopeful about my day, knowing that it’s not just another day to spend living for other people’s dreams and fulfillment.

In fact, it’s mine – I create it – just like all the days past and all the days to come. Everything else in my life is just there to support me in living life the way I want to – including my day job (and not the other way around).

Get your Priorities Straight

Authenticity, People & Relationships, The Self


Having difficulty saying “No”? Tired of feeling guilty? Overcommitted but unfulfilled? Do yourself and everyone a favor – get your priorities straight!

I didn’t know I’ll thank myself later for it, when I declined someone’s invitation to join a trip. I knew it would be nice to go, and I’d definitely would want to spend time with the people there. However, this was tugging at my sleeve – the truth that I’ve already made up my mind on which to prioritize. My weekends have already been blocked off.

A few days later, after declining the said invitation, my grandmother mentioned a trip she has been planning with the rest of the family on the day the other trip was supposed to take place. I felt an opening inside, and a smile couldn’t help but slip off my lips – I said “Yes” in a heartbeat.

It’s the only kind of “Yes” that we deserve. That “Yes” that we don’t think twice for; that “Yes” that resonates with all of our being.

When we get our priorities straight, knowing when to say “No” and actually saying it will be a bit easier. Likewise, by doing so, we are opening up ourselves more to those opporunities that would really bring us joy. Less guilt, less stress, more fun and fulfillment!

Freedom is the Key

Authenticity, People & Relationships, The Self



How do you love a wild thing?
How do you merge with a spirit without putting its fire out?
Without losing yourself in the process?

Embrace your own freedom.
Run wild with the wolves. Run boundless like the horses.
Fly high with no apologies, with no fear.

In your utmost freedom you will find
all seemingly separate things in this world intertwine.

Allow and Connect

People & Relationships, The Self


How do you forge a relationship with an animal?

You ground yourself.
You stay present,

with full acceptance of who you are
and what is.

You allow this creature, always free in spirit
to come to you.

To calm down,
to merge with your presence

with no expectations of the outcome
or the length of your time together.

How do you forge a relationship with another human?

You go back to the top.


Togetherness is only possible through Solitude

Healing, Life path, The Self

vinesAt some point we must confront the reality of our solitude; because it’s only through the fullness of experiencing our temporal solitary existence that genuine togetherness is made possible.

It can easily slip off our attention since it’s our default reality, like a fish in the water, but it’s in fact, one of the core facets (if not the major one) of being incarnated in a physical form – to be separated and alone.

Isn’t the journey about experiencing oneself, learning, expanding and finding our way back home?
Wiser, deeper – to wholeness, to unity.