Activities · Self

Playtime can be cheap and priceless

Precious are those moments when the only ones that can lift your spirit and get you in the zone are doing those little things that you enjoy no matter how outdated or senseless they may be. Playtime, in general doesn’t have to make sense, there is no end goal in mind – ’cause it’s about the moment, the flow and enjoying yourself and your surroundings.

Remember when you’re a kid and you almost never wanted to sleep? You had infinite ideas of what to do during the day. You’re curious about many things and the mundane world was your wonderland. All outdoor activities were wild adventures. You didn’t get tired, you forgot to eat, and you didn’t bother if you’ve already been roasted by the sun swimming all day in the beach and building castles in the sand.

As adults we often think that we should let go of this childhood sense of wonder and play. Contrary to what we think, I believe that playtime is actually important to our spirit no matter how old we are. Life offers us so endless opportunities to have fun and be connected with ourselves and the world we are in.

I take playtime seriously – it has to always be a part of my life or else I’ll become cranky and sometimes simply a horrible human being to be with. Playtime comes easy ย – drawing, painting and photography are all forms of play for me. Joining art markets to sell my artworks is a form of play. Spending time with my dogs is playtime. Dressing up at home and putting on make up for no reason (yeah, even if I’m just staying at home or video calling with my boyfriend) is playtime, watching old school music videos of boy bands, Spice Girls, Britney Spears is a form of play, browsing Pinterest just to see cute memes of Pusheen the cat and other cute illustrations is play time, listening to my current most favorite over and over again is playtime, cooking and experimenting on new dishes is playtime, dancing in front of the mirror in my bedroom is playtime, playing pretend with my youngest brother DJ is playtime, watching cartoons and scary films (both DJ’s favorites) with him is playtime…really the list goes on.

I would say that playtime is something you can do that is close to meditation (if you are not into meditation). Of course, I recommend meditation, but playtime takes us to similar heights, too.

Play bathes our spirit and refreshes our psyche. It lightens our mood and enhances our perspective and attitude. It clears up our head – leaving us with more mind and heart space to make conscious actions and decisions.

How does your playtime look like? Are you doing enough of it? ๐Ÿ™‚

Self · Relationships · Activities

It’s never too late to get up and be active!

I have been sedentary most of my life. I’ve never had problems with my weight, so partly that’s why. Another reason why is because there was no one in the family who was living an active lifestyle while I was growing up. My father was sporty when he was young – that was before he became a father in his early 20’s. My mother only started to be active in his late 30’s (she raised me when she was in her early 20’s) and she was never fit at all when she was young. My brothers grew up not sporty/active, too.

In the recent months, though, before I turned 30, I’ve been getting a nagging internal guidance to start working out – and take it seriously – like it was a matter of life and death for me. I was neither struggling with a health nor a weight issue. Probably it’s my future self telling me to the one thing she needed me to do at this time. I also paid attention to my body and I felt like my body wanted to be lean. Somehow I knew that my body was meant to be all toned up. I haven’t been always decisive, though. I have postponed getting started not only for weeks…but for months (added to the long years of being lazy)!

Now, looking back from the day I started picking up those weights and doing the cardio – I have realized how my life has changed so far (and I’m not even doing it for half a year). First of all, my body responded fast and well to my workouts. It coped up nicely to new and more intense routines (it was meant to be lean after all!) Only the first workout left me unable to walk for 3 days (but that’s because I’ve been sedentary for ages!) but the following workouts left me just feeling energized and toned. I would feel pain here and there of course whenever I would try something new and more challenging. But I’ve never felt exhausted anymore since.

I work out pretty much everyday and I actually look forward to it! Partly because I love the feeling of growing stronger everyday. I can do so much more now (with less pain and difficulty) and I’ve become so much more confident. I’ve stopped counting my calories and just started eating mindfully and keeping a healthy diet. Part of the motivation and satisfaction comes from the changes I see in my physique. I’ve seen how I’ve transformed from just a skinny girl to a toned up and athletic looking one – and I’ve only been doing it for almost 3 months!

All the good feelings working out gives me only motivate me to take good are of myself in all aspects and to do the same for all the people and things that matter to me. Working out is a breath of fresh air for me, mentally and spiritually speaking, too because it has reminded me that we can actually shape ourselves – and our lives. We don’t have complete control but what little control we have can be used to create the person we want to become and the life we want to live.

My boyfriend and I are inspiring and supporting each other on this journey of choosing to be healthy and fit. This only makes us more motivated, focused and consistent! We are able to enjoy more outdoor fun together and improve the quality of our lives. This makes me happy and optimistic about the future – we are gonna have many, many years of adventure and fun together with our future kids who are gonna grow up (this time – unlike my upbringing) in a healthy and active environment. Glad I listened to my future self ๐Ÿ˜‰

Places · Self

Clearing your space

Angels have been “nagging” me to organize my stuff these past few weeks as an important part of my journey. I didn’t understand what the fuss was about and I didn’t think it was that imperative. My room wasn’t in bad shape and I was sure I didn’t have that much to organize.

Then today out of the blue I just felt in the mood to do it. To my surprise I found out that I actually have been keeping stuff I no longer needed and for sure I won’t be needing at all (majority composed of documents like old CVs and business cards). Without thinking twice I threw them in the garbage bag.

I also discovered that the stuff I truly cared about were not organized and kept safe enough (like old artworks, photos and travel souvenirs). They put a tender smile on my face – and I made sure I kept them neat and safe altogether.

Likewise, I found old office supplies that I could still use and put them together neatly (like old notebooks with lots of blank pages left, slightly used folders and envelopes and tons of colorful post its).

I have freed new storage spaces after throwing away what I labeled as junk and after organizing what I chose to keep because they still mattered to me. Now my stuff are no longer crammed together and I have put the eyesores in their designated storage. Each group of item is in its respective place as well and it’s easier now for me to reach out for something. It feels like my room can breathe smoother now – and so do I.

Now I get it why the angels have been persistent on pushing me to do this. I feel at peace now knowing that all that I have are things I choose to keep – things that really have meaning to me. I didn’t even know that I had guilt at the back of my mind stemming from the thought that there were stuff in my room that I should have thrown out but were still occupying space which I could have allotted for things that were actually of use or meaning to me – things that actually brought joy and inspiration to me.

I was just too lazy to get down and serious in cleaning up. Now I can chill and sleep peacefully in my room knowing that my environment has been updated to reflect my present circumstance and the person I have become. Now I feel more in the right mind and heart space to move into the new beginning that I have been preparing these past few weeks (actually, months).

P.S. Talkin’ about updates – I have finally updated the softwares I have been stalling to update and updated my wardrobe as well. I had a haircut recently, too. It feels like I am preparing for something major that I still don’t know what is actually about. But it’s okay, I am enjoying the process ๐Ÿ™‚

Relationships · Self

Girl, you’ve lost that guilty feelin’, oh that guilty feelin’

I had another Aha moment last night, just before I went to sleep. I have realized that my life has been plagued by guilt for every little thing – guilt for not understanding and supporting my mom completely when she needed me, guilt for not being able to forgive my father completely, guilt for not being able to take my dogs out everyday, guilt for not working out, guilt for eating meat, guilt for not being ambitious enough,guilt for not making a lot of money, guilt for letting go of opportunities that others were drooling over, guilt for not creating enough art works etc.

Guilt basically nagged me at every twist and turn I made. There was nothing I did right or enough. There was always a mistake, a misstep, something missing or something too much. I never had genuine peace of mind.

I was mulling over these stuff last night when I reached the point of taking a look at the present moment, then it hit me – it’s the first time that I actually don’t feel guilty about anything.

The recent events that have been bothering me have unfolded in their own ways, emotions calmed down, things underneath floated above water, the dust settled – some pieces of information landed on my lap, realizations dawned on me like a cold waterfall. New info and self-compassion have both helped me complete the process and come into terms with my issues. I would also say having the resolve to stay true to myself enabled me to release all that no longer served me.

It’s a cliche exactly because it’s true –

Sometimes it looks like things are falling apart, but actually our lives are just falling into place.

This is how the Universe/God/Source works. Confusion and clarity are just different sides of the same thing

People · Self · Work

A note on Authenticity

If I am to move forward with my desired path, I have to make peace with a few things – specifically this:

Some people are gonna hate me for who I really am, exactly for my character and all that I stand for. I should stop being defensive and make excuses like – they’re judgmental, they don’t see the entire picture, they are superficial, they don’t know me to my core, they don’t know that we are all connected blah blah blah – because that’s exactly the point, there will always be those who will hate me because they know me to the core, or at least they are aware of the parts of me that are crucial to my character as a whole.

This is perfectly normal. On the other hand, some people will love me because they really see who I am to the core. Being authentic is a polarizing act – but it’s an act that will liberate us above all and will lead us to where we should be, to where we will thrive and contribute to the fullness of our capacity.

This is not a time to water down my authenticity or back off a bit – this is a time to push forward and make peace with the obstacles by being decisive at every shift.

People · Self · Work

This is an Aha day

The people around us will always have their opinions about our choices. We don’t have to – and we definitely shouldn’t listen to all of them. We have to learn how to filter out these voices.

We must only listen to those who we want to be more similar with and whose lives match the life we want for ourselves.

What makes other people happy or successful won’t necessarily make us happy and successful. So we should stop looking around us and mindlessly copy bits and pieces of how others live their lives – or be affected by what others say about us and how we live.

Activities · People · Relationships · Self · Travel

My funny, lovely meditation experience

I’ve had many serious AND FUNNY visualization meditations (without intending to). There have been times when I would see archangels being silly and inviting me to play around with them instead of being so serious all the time. In many instances I would see all sorts of animals stepping into my meditation, inviting me to do all sorts of random, silly and funny stuff which are “serious” for them.

Just this morning I did a visualization meditation where I had to climb the top of Mt. Everest. Guess what? I saw myself wearing a onesie (instead of serious hiking clothes complete with the necessary gears). At first I thought it was a unicorn onesie…then a fox appeared and told me I was so funny wearing a Totoro onesie. I wasn’t a unicorn after all.

This fox was eating cheese and drinking wine. She even invited me to her house and said that she would cook dinner for me for when I come back from the peak. She said of course cheese is best partnered with wine – and that of course, foxes eat cheese and drink wine and that she had all the supplies she needed.

Shortly after, I met a hedgehog who climbed the peak with me. Before we started climbing, he gave me a gold penny to remind me that I always have all the abundance of wealth and support that I need…and that of course he’s got an infinite number of gold pennies at home because he’s a penny-maker. He even gave me a Hi-C drink and we were drinking at the peak like we’re best buddies in grade school hanging out in the courtyard.

Eventually, yes, the three of us had dinner together prepared by the elegant Ms. Fox. It was a yummy potato soup…and we ate cheese of course and drank red wine. Mr. Hedgehog was laughing at me, saying “Who wears a onesie to Mt. Everest?”. We spent the evening talking about our funny and silly experiences in life – like we’ve been friends forever. ๐Ÿ™‚ What a funny, lovely meditation experience!

People · Self

An open note to Self and to all dear stranger friends

Seriously, how often do we give thanks for the things that make our daily life functional, fun and productive? For those who have an abundance of stuff, probably most don’t even see these things I’m referring to. We’re so focused with what we don’t have – with acquiring more. We rarely feel satiated and complete. This is an effect of a commercialized culture – and we have to catch ourselves in the midst of it and correct our attitude.

People · Relationships · Self · Work

Authenticity and Happiness

The truth of the matter is –

You will never be happy in any situation if you cannot express the full authenticity of who you are.

…if the people around you are expecting you to be someone else, if what you are doing is not in alignment with what matters to you and what brings you joy, if your time is being consumed by things that don’t support you in the direction you want to go.

Like me, many of us had to learn this lesson the hard way. Even the best opportunities (on the surface) could in reality limit us from being who we really are. Therefore it becomes imperative to walk away. Believe that the Universe is abundance and that you will get what is more suitable to you once you let go of what doesn’t support your authentic spirit.

I’m still in the midst of this journey and I haven’t found my next stop yet – but each day I am learning that what I did was the right thing to do at that time and my reasons were enough. I gotta stop berating myself for my decisions. All is well.

Activities · Self

Reframing The Question

Instead of asking yourself “Am I living the life that I truly desire/ Am I living life to the fullest?” maybe a better question to ask is –

In what ways am I giving glory to Source/God through the life I’m co-creating?

The latter has less ego and is more purpose-centric. It’s not limited by the cookie-cutter measures we impose on ourselves and each other. It’s focused on something higher and bigger than us. It’s concerned with giving back and celebrating life. It’s more profound and comprehensive.

Posing this question towards myself has made me confront things that while true, have been difficult for me to accept. I’ve realized that despite society’s expectations (which became mine as well in many ways), my life is primarily about defining, re-shaping and celebrating freedom in my own ways. Well, I tried to put other things on top of it from time to time but I keep coming back to it. I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA. It’s where the pull of my gravity lies.

It’s been a roller coaster ride when I was younger – full of the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, I could’ve killed myself many times. As I mature the extremes mellow down a bit but experiences and lessons are becoming more felt and profound.

I guess this is my way of giving back to Source – explore the dimensions of freedom and become a wiser and more responsible person in the process.

Knowing this gives me more reasons to be compassionate with myself and not pressure myself into pursuing things that don’t resonate with me.

Try asking yourself the same question and be enlightened by the answer/s you’ll get. ๐Ÿ™‚