There has been a long period of time when I thought I really had to get manifestation right or else I won’t achieve my goals. Since recently, I was berating myself for not being able to get where I wanted to be. I though I must have been doing all the wrong things – not having clarity with what I really wanted, not reaping the power of focus, not knowing how to surrender, not being in a consistently positive state,
– not coming up with vision boards or listening to daily affirmations – and the list goes on.
This can happen when one is taking personal development and spirituality too seriously. Sometimes it ends up just being one of the ego’s many games.
We end up wanting to get things right, nail things down – always measuring and proving our progress. Along the way, sometimes we lose the essence of it all. We start to believe that we have more control over external events than we actually do. We become more anxious, more judgmental of ourselves and of others – more ungrateful.
I’ve been struggling with this phase for a few months now, until last night while I was in the bus going home. I remembered this particular manifestation which happened to me a few years back. It was the manifestation of the relationship with my current significant other. I traced back how it all happened – how we met and all the circumstances that led to that.
That’s when I’ve realized that I wasn’t really doing all the “manifestation work” before I met him. I wasn’t really in the state of loving myself. I wasn’t in any way clear with what I was looking for a partner or what I wanted out of a relationship. In fact, I had been in a series of toxic relationships.
I was a trainwreck for most of my 20’s, but just like some of my peers in this decade, I was doing what I could to move on. I was moving from one life lesson to the other. It was not my fault. It’s just a natural phase of life. Some people go through it in their teens, some in their twenties, others in their thirties – and so on and so forth.
Looking back it’s as if God has let me walk into those toxic relationships to learn something about myself and about life. But as soon as I’ve gotten the lessons behind each, God would do something to interrupt the situation and pluck me out of it. It’s either something would suddenly happen which was totally beyond my control or the relationship would reach its natural conclusion.
In the middle of this chaos was when we met.
In hindsight there was in fact, an order to all those events, although back then it only looked to me like chaos.
That made me realize that our path itself leads us to where we are meant to be. We’re never lost. We’re always being guided towards the right direction, and we don’t really need to know any manifestation trick.
Simply by going from one situation to another, by discovering what we like and what we don’t like, what nourishes us and what doesn’t we are by default building our dreams in the spiritual plane where all ideas reside. It’s only a matter of time before we can give birth to them in the physical – and that process is beyond our control.
Higher forces are at work. Our part is simply to live our lives authentically.
We need to stop blaming ourselves when things don’t go our way or when we feel as though it’s taking so long before we arrive to where we wanna be. The truth is, our journey and who become in the process is as important as our destination and the manifestation of our dreams. When the ride gets rough – we just gotta hold on tight and keep our faith on the Divine’s process and perfect timing.