Further notes on Healing

Healing

solitude

blueflowerI’ve been having these whispers of inspiration lately. God has been asking me to focus on healing – to immerse myself in it, go all the way through, to carefully pay attention, zoom into the details and take notes. God also instructed me to pay attention to other people’s healing journey and to reap what I can learn from them.

So far I have learned these three major things:

1. Each of us go through the healing process in her/his own unique way.  

For me, and perhaps to many of my fellow introverts, healing is mostly a solitary journey. When I’m grieving I prefer to lick my wounds in private. I prefer to dissect what has happened and confront my demons by myself – not to avoid humiliation but mainly to regroup my center and sharpen my spirit by walking through the fire. I heal by cleansing my thoughts and emotions; I had to pour out my soul and turn myself inside-out, upside-down if need be. During these times, I don’t want much interaction ’cause I don’t have the energy for it. Unnecessary interactions only distract me and prevent me from moving forward.

I am a wild solitary animal – I hibernate and once I’ve nourished myself back to health, I come out of my cave. For the most part, I remain the sole witness to how the process unfolds and how I let myself get undone.

Those who are close to me usually see bits of it and they can’t really do much for me except for understanding my strong need for solitude (and also for assisting me with basic nourishment stuff like eating and sleeping well).

On the other hand, there are those who take the opposite direction. My mother for instance, when she’s hurting and grieving, she usually reaches out the more to the people around her. She almost never wants to be alone. She always wants to be surrounded with her family and friends. She needs activity, fun and laughter. She longs to share more of herself with others. She can’t stand being by herself and her own thoughts. It’s torturous for her. There have been a few instances when I suggested that maybe she should spend time alone to think, regroup and heal. But she disagreed. She believes it’s not what she needs; it’s not what will help her make it through.

This has baffled the introvert me. I couldn’t understand for a time how could this be possible. To me, there’s nothing solitude cannot solve. Solitude has been my well of clarity, healing, acceptance, strength, inspiration and creativity.

It works both ways, though, ’cause while I’m puzzled by her total disregard for solitude she can’t understand how I go through my own challenges  by (according to her perspective) isolating myself.

Eventually I have learned to accept that there is not one path to healing and we simply must follow the path that lights up for us.

2. Healing is not a linear process.

It ebbs and it flows. It takes us two steps forward then one step backwards – or even three or four – it can even take us exactly to where we began. The process looks more like layers of circles – one on top of each other and sometimes even overlapping. Each circle gets completed through our progress in the healing journey. Issues are resolved one-by-one or at the same time. Then we come in full circle.

We find ourselves back to the starting point, but with a totally different perspective.

There’s no telling when something begins and where it ends. But we know it when we’ve reached a certain level of wholeness again and peace.

3. Even if we think that healing is just our issue, the truth is others are always involved in it in one way or another.

If we are hurting, someone else is hurting, too.

It doesn’t mean we always have to go through healing with the other person/s. Many times, this is unnecessary and may even be impossible. However, by completing the process and by making a change we are inevitably affecting others’ healing, too.

Our shift in focus and energy is enough to lift up the situation and pivot it to where there is solace and clarity.

When shift happens, expect to see some movement here and there. Others would reach out from out of the blue. We could also feel as though the Universe is orchestrating the events so you can have that next interaction that would complete the healing cycle. Learn how to be open to these intentions and gestures. Let them unfold. We must suspend our judgments. This is the Universe’s way of sending us more love and validation.

This is all I have for now. Writing this post has been therapeutic for me. I hope reading this does you some good, too. xoxo

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