Sometimes, we don’t get what we hope for and we think we must be cursed or undeserving. Other times, we get exactly what we hoped for – and maybe more – and end up feeling damned, too, because then we’re faced with the dilemma of picking the right thing and of course we don’t want to make a mistake.
This can happen in any area of our life, but as a multipassionate person I am quite familiar with this scene. I didn’t know it could be THAT a big deal though until this thing happened to me…
I’ve been working on some career goals these past few months – really grinding it out like a modern careerist. The prizes I’ve been reaching for have always been beyond of my reach and were given to somebody else. I felt disappointed and hurt a few times. Until my calling pulled me in and revealed itself to me completely. But just when I said yes to it and said no to my modern careerist goals – the prizes I’ve been reaching out for dangled themselves in front of me, all tempting and sexy.
I will kid you not – it sucker punched me. I could still remember the day it happened – I felt sick, my tummy was so acidic that I had a hard time speaking and walking.
Then I asked the angels why they were confusing me. I was only able to hear their answer when I calmed down (and stopped being antagonistic) and my tummy felt normal again. This is what they told me:
We are not confusing you. Our stand is the same and we’ve always been consistent. You know very well what this means. All of these “hanging fruits” look tempting and delicious – but are they real? You know very well the answer to that. Tune into your heart and you can easily detect which is true and which isn’t.
BAM. That dawned on me like a waterfall.
I got rattled like a stupid mouse when I saw those prizes in front of me and for a while I forgot my truths. My ego got so excited and revved up with all the treats it can enjoy. But my spirit kept as still as a lotus in a pond. She didn’t even budge. When I checked on her again I got the straightforward answer she always had for me – She (the person who offered me the tempting but fake fruits) was lying to me according to her interests and none of what was being offered would truly fulfill me. My modern careerist goals were driven by my ego, my ambitions and not my genuine desire to serve a higher purpose. I’m well aware that many of those in this current career path may be really coming from a place of service and it may true that it’s their calling. However, that doesn’t ring true for me. It’s also true that while I may be doing well in this (and in many other things, too, like most of us) what would serve the greater good is if I consciously choose the manner by which I would want to get better, the manner by which I’d like to contribute in my own way and last but not the least the manner that is the most meaningful to me.
I know from that experience that t’s not easy to go through a similar situation especially if you’re required to make a quick decision. It’s also difficult and scary to say no to what your ego wants in favor of what would feed your spirit. The ego is louder and more demanding and it can fool you into believing that it has your best interests, that it actually knows what is right for you.
But don’t be fooled – following the ego’s desires will lead you to a path of insecurity and confusion. When you’re living from your ego, you will never feel good enough and you will never truly thrive. You will never be joyful and at peace. How do I know these? I tune into my heart and project myself into 2 very different kinds of futures – one where my ego leads me and another, where my spirit does and I live from the inside-out.
The path of my ego is not the path I want to spend my life on. It may lead me to material wealth and successes but I know it’s not the best use of my lifetime. I don’t want to look back at my life in my deathbed and regret not living the life I know I should have – the life I could have lived.
How about you? What did you do when you were faced with a similar situation? How did you traverse your crossroads and came up with a decision you had to live with?