Each relationship runs its own course

People & Relationships, The Self

The other day I asked my higher self why despite working on my relationship with this particular person (I’m not talking about my life partner), why won’t it lead to more affection and more intimacy?

That’s what this post is about.

My higher self gave me this profound answer:

Each relationship runs its own course. Achieving complete connection between two people doesn’t always translate to more affection and more intimacy. It doesn’t mean you’re gonna be sharing more of yourselves or having more fun and meaningful experiences together. In some relationships, complete connection manifests in calmness, in the absence of conflict (when there used to be a lot of it), in the absence of the desire to control the other to adhere to one’s expectations. Sometimes complete connection simply means honoring the differences between the two of you and respecting the uniqueness of the other. Sometimes, two people simply have more differences than similarities that sharing more experiences together is more of a struggle than something which happens naturally.

I’ve always wanted my relationship with this person to be full of sharing and understanding. I want us to help each other go through our lives and achieve what we define for ourselves as success. But the more I struggle for that to happen the more that I feel frustrated. Maybe it’s time for me to realize that the idea of what our relationship could be is just and will remain to be a fantasy. Maybe it’s never meant to be that way. Maybe how we are at present is how it’s all ever going to be and that our relationship has ran its own course. I should be at peace with it and stop myself from trying to get more out of it/or stop myself from pushing it to be something it’s not and will never be.

Advertisements

Self-restraint and choosing your battles Wisely

Meditation/Visions, The Self

danger

Recently, I went back to animal totem/spirit animal meditations. I am really the kind of person who is more attuned to animal energy and wisdom because I am able to receive them more clearly. They don’t beat around the bushes, they don’t say much, but when they do – it’s exactly the messages that I need to hear.

I’ve met a giant eagle and a female wolf recently.

The giant eagle was my recent (and maybe my current) spirit animal. I sensed a male energy. He told me that his secret to success (which translates to self-confidence, strength and freedom) was his ability to choose his battles.

He told me that I was predisposed to feeling overwhelmed because I didn’t know how to pick my battles. I would fight other people’s fights, therefore, I wouldn’t get the results that I wanted and I would feel drained, seething with resentment.

On the other hand, when I decided to meditate and meet not my spirit animal, but my animal totem, which means the representation of my human energy/personality, I met a female wolf. I asked her name and she said her name was Selena. Selena has lived 81 lifetimes as a wolf. She said sometimes she died too soon, sometimes she died of old age, sometimes she was reckless and emotional and didn’t know self-restraint which caused her untimely deaths. She told me that if there’s only one lesson that I can master, she said I should learn self-restraint. She said I should learn how to choose my battles. She told me to use all my sharp senses – smell, feeling, intuition, sight – to assess a situation, a person. She told me that using all my abilities will enable me to come up with the best possible way to respond in every occasion.

She said that I should know how to differentiate between a perceived danger and an actual threat. She explained that sometimes we simply feel threatened but we’re not really in danger – and that there is a huge difference between the two.

The first one is subjective and mostly based on our personal emotions, thoughts and history while the second one is the objective threat, in which the threat would  be obvious to anybody looking from the outside of the situation. She said that it took her 81 lifetimes to gain that wisdom and to master her own emotions.

She clarified that based on her experiences, actually most of the times the best thing to do is to simply walk away. She said that there are very few instances in life where something is really worth a fight. Better to reserve your energy for those times.

She said that she manifested in my personality during those moments when in the heat of an argument (or a coming argument) I was able able to step back and turn all my senses on to assess the situation and apply self-restraint enough to keep quiet and not react prematurely. She said that behind that is unimaginable strength that has more worth than we could ever think of.