What does “release” actually mean?

Healing, People & Relationships, The Self

I was inspired to do a “releasing” meditation yesterday. I was browsing my favorite meditation guide playlist when the releasing meditate caught me attention. I didn’t even know what that meant or why would I wanted to do it. But I felt a subtle pull so I did it.

I finished the meditation, and I felt lighter as always. But still, I barely understood what “release” really meant for me at that time. I knew what I wanted to release though, but it was still not clear to me how the fuck I was supposed to do it aside from meditating on it.

So I posed the question to the universe I was on my way to the grocery. I asked from my spirit, “What does release mean for me and why do I want to do it?”. Not surprisingly, the answer came to me on an instant (this always happens when I ask with the fullness of my intentions to understand), it went something like this:

“I want to release them so they can be completely themselves especially when they are around me.”

Come to think of it, I did the releasing meditation with the belief that I was doing it mainly to benefit myself. But the answer I got was not really about my concern only and mainly for myself.

I realized that our expectations of others weigh inevitably weigh on them, and in turn, it weighs on us, too. By imprisoning them, we imprison ourselves, too. I used to think in a more limited sense. I hoped certain people would change in a way that would be more convenient to me. This is the first time that I truthfully felt ready for authenticity.

The Universe also told me that I had to release my worries so it can work in resolving the situation in a divine way. By grabbing onto it, I was impeding the natural process of resolution and peace. I was working against my own best intentions.

I still don’t know if the resolution has began (lol my cynical brain in action). But I feel so much lighter now. I feel like I have more room for other things now; things that bring me joy and excitement.

 

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Rearranging perspectives

People & Relationships, The Self

defenses

greenbgI believe being mean comes from the feeling of insecurity and that it’s an attempt to be in control in one way or another. When I am behaving in a mean way, it’s usually because I felt hurt and therefore threatened as well. I wanna bring back my presence and illusion of power by resorting to acting mean. This happens so automatically that if I am not aware of myself enough, it’s difficult to catch myself as it happens and correct my course of action.

We encounter people acting this way regularly everywhere – when we get up early in the morning and our mom or partner is already irritated for reasons we don’t understand, when we commute to work and we see drivers or passengers spilling wrath around them because of somebody’s little honest mistake, when we unintentionally disappoint our colleagues, our customers/clients, our bosses at work and their whole day gets ruined and we take the blow.

I used to quickly jump into conclusions when I experience these things. I would immediately rant inside my head about how mean this and that person is. But lately since I’ve become more aware of myself, too, I’ve become more understanding of others’ behavior as well. I would say most of the time, people are not really mean, they just act mean because they feel overwhelmed or powerless (which can mean the same thing at times).

Therefore, the right reaction is not to “get even” with them. It’s not wise to push back (well, unless your goal is to start a fight). If our goal is unity and harmony (and not proving your point), the appropriate reaction, I’d say, would be to embrace humility. First of all, we must acknowledge our contribution to the person’s feeling of upset, in case there is. If there is or there isn’t, the next thing to do is to understand how could the other person be feeling. We must put ourselves into his/her position to understand more how human he/she is behaving. Once we get a sense of it, we can identify the appropriate response that would make them less hurt, less overwhelmed and generally, less defensive. There are a few ways to respond. We can verbally/or in writing, acknowledge how they’re feeling and express how sorry we are that they’re feeling that way. We can explain that while it’s not our intention, we simply misunderstood them, or we were careless, or we were just not aware of what we should have done. By letting our own defenses down, we bring them closer to our side. Next thing is to provide them with a reassurance by giving them a game plan or a solution on what we’ll do to make up for our mistake or how we can avoid it from happening again.This is important for them to calm down and get back to trusting us again.

Saying sorry is not enough. We have to prove our sincerity by providing a clear description of what we’re gonna do or avoid doing in the future in case the same situation comes up.

I’ve practically been using this strategy both in my personal and professional relationships. I even do this with strangers (it’s in fact very useful with strangers). It doesn’t only help get the work done (whatever that may be) by keeping in harmony with those around me but it also helps my mood and sets my perspective and attitude in ways that are empowering for me. It makes me less defensive, less anxious, less unhappy when I obviously did something which upsets another person. It also makes me even more aware of my own thoughts, emotions and behavior.

Excitement is our life-changing Ally

Manifestation, The Self

dancingIf you’re wondering which kind of high-frequency feeling can drive you best in giving birth to awesome changes in your life, I tell you – Excitement is what you’re looking for.

When we’re excited, everything else goes backstage. The horizon lights up and all we can see is the sun sun sun! Our vision is clear. We just wanna jump for joy and sing! The world is a beautiful place!

This, my friend, is a fertile state to manifest what you mostly want! You’re open to more and more awesomeness because you are feeling awesome yourself. And you know that, in this state, you are unstoppable! Nothing and no one can rain on your parade. The cloudy skies clear up for you.

The trick is to keep ourselves in this place of always finding something to get excited about – big or small, it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is how it makes us feel. We should search for that feeling of anticipation, of looking forward, of jumping for joy, of running to welcome all the good things that are coming towards us. We can start dreaming in this state. Start planning in this state. Start beginning projects, building new connections in this state. It won’t be long ’til we see the changes that we’ve mostly wanted to happen unfold.

Cheers to an Open Secret

Career, Creative Living, The Self

holiest

upWhen somebody gets credit for something exceptional, we’re all wowed and we couldn’t believe how they could achieve something so well despite their apparent humanity.

What we don’t see are the innumerable hours they’ve spent practicing – and failing. Failing hard. Failing and taking the real blows. The rest of us only witness the glorious outcomes.

I want to make a virtual toast to those hours spent – grinding it out, pulling ourselves together, pushing ourselves forward, standing tall, trying and trying until we get it right – until we get better.

Those are the holiest hours. We are transformed during those moments.

We’re all being chiseled in the fire. We must relish those moments, too, for we won’t be able to handle the successes in store for us, without first becoming the person this process is gonna turn us into.

Celebration is key to happiness!

The Self

downplaying

dancingRecently while I was in a religious gathering (I’m not a believer of religions, but I am still open to the riches and lessons I can get from them) and I was singing along the worship songs –

I realized that there was indeed, so much happiness in my heart, that my life was filled with so much joy and blessings. I realized that I’ve been downplaying my successes and joys because I didn’t have the right space to celebrate them. In fact, I didn’t know how to celebrate them at all.

It felt good to acknowledge the Divine’s presence in my life that has always been there and never left me. I began to appreciate the journey I have been, how I went through the crazy roller coaster ride of my life and all the blessings I was showered with along the way.

I cannot even find the words to express how good it felt to surrender everything and just celebrate! There are just no words. The best thing I could do is probably cry happy tears!

 

 

A reflection on Abundance

Manifestation, The Self

abundance

pinkieI have been meditating and continuously investigating and reflecting on the subject of “Abundance” lately. I used to have a lot of stubborn blocks to it which led me to playing small and limiting what I allowed myself to desire and receive.

Lately my meditation has led me to this realization:

Abundance is not only about achieving more wealth and support. It can also be about having a certain level of stability and certainty. It’s also about not having to worry about specific things that you need – a nest to live in, a work that provides material needs and meaning to your daily life, warmth and love from the people around you, skills that enable you to achieve your goals and create, a healthy body that allows you more easily to live life to the fullest, sights and creatures around you which allow you to feel free and experience the joy of living in the moment.

Abundance is also about having the space and the capacity to have a vision for the future and the knowing that you can move towards it.

Abundance is always there. All we have to do is reflect on how it manifests in our lives. What does this kind of abundance tell us? Is it the kind of abundance that we want? If not, is it the kind that we need right now? What are the ways we can harness its power to help us expand and contribute more to the world around us?

 

It also feels nice to be sad with someone you Love

People & Relationships, The Self

couple2You’ll know you’re in the presence of someone who loves you when you feel the freedom to show them you’re a mess while saying “Yes, I am sad.” Period. Of course, you would discuss the reason why, with your full sad puppy face on. But you don’t have to explain more than the bare details. They would understand completely why you’re feeling that bad. They would, of course, try to brainstorm with you with the intention of cheering you up and because they really want to help you out, too. This definitely helps.

Although, sometimes, what helps you more is the fact that there is someone who is comfy enough to join you and look at you in your momentary sadness, without wanting to take you to optimism paradise in an instant.

The conversation can move further, naturally. You may start talking about other shitty things that happened to you or to those you know, you can even talk shit together to let steam off, you can even make fun of yourselves and the situation. Eventually, you’d just end up seeing yourselves laughing together at your private wicked conversation.

Then you realize, the goal  here is not to achieve a spotless life where nothing ever goes wrong, but instead, it’s about building your  life surrounded with people that help you go through all the ups and downs and the merry-go-rounds of life and always coming out stronger, wiser and with a bigger and deeper heart!

Working on happiness is not just a solitary activity. Happiness can be achieved using teamwork, too!  We should do whatever works for us. Sometimes, we can only achieve it on our own, in the stillness of our own presence. Other times, we need the help of others, too, because after all, we’re on the same boat here.

I have decided to be happy

The Self

goingdown

In the middle of yet another frustration (I easily get frustrated so this is no feat), I suddenly felt tired and defeated inside. Instead of my usual response, which is to wallow more and make things worse for me, I decided to give it all up. It’s a cliche, right, that we are in charge of our emotions, that we can always choose to be happy. But we don’t really think it’s true until it happens to us. And yes, sometimes, things just happen to us instead of us making things happen.

I heard myself saying (in my head),

I don’t wanna be frustrated. I choose to let this go, see the bright side and focus on that until everything else fades out. I don’t want to be upset anymore. What even got me into thinking that I was lacking, stuck and unsupported? That is simply not true. I am filled with abundance of many kinds. I see them more clearly now. I am grateful for them. I feel loved and secure. In fact, I am happy. I choose to remain happy.

I didn’t even plan to have that attitude. It simply happened. Now, whenever I would start to dip low in frustration, I would just switch that attitude on and I feel better. Not to say that I have become an escapist, that I simply choose not to deal with  my frustrations now. I believe that all our feelings are important because they tell us something that rings true for us, therefore we should pay attention to them. What I avoid doing now is going down with my emotions. I can deal with them without sinking with them.

The best part is, solutions come to the surface naturally once we take charge of our emotions! Maybe they’re always there after all, we just fail to notice them because we’re so busy wallowing in our misery.