Activities · People · Relationships · Self

What does “release” actually mean?

I was inspired to do a “releasing” meditation yesterday. I was browsing my favorite meditation guide playlist when the releasing meditate caught me attention. I didn’t even know what that meant or why would I wanted to do it. But I felt a subtle pull so I did it.

I finished the meditation, and I felt lighter as always. But still, I barely understood what “release” really meant for me at that time. I knew what I wanted to release though, but it was still not clear to me how the fuck I was supposed to do it aside from meditating on it.

So I posed the question to the universe I was on my way to the grocery. I asked from my spirit, “What does release mean for me and why do I want to do it?”. Not surprisingly, the answer came to me on an instant (this always happens when I ask with the fullness of my intentions to understand), it went something like this:

“I want to release them so they can be completely themselves especially when they are around me.”

Come to think of it, I did the releasing meditation with the belief that I was doing it mainly to benefit myself. But the answer I got was not really about my concern only and mainly for myself.

I realized that our expectations of others weigh inevitably weigh on them, and in turn, it weighs on us, too. By imprisoning them, we imprison ourselves, too. I used to think in a more limited sense. I hoped certain people would change in a way that would be more convenient to me. This is the first time that I truthfully felt ready for authenticity.

The Universe also told me that I had to release my worries so it can work in resolving the situation in a divine way. By grabbing onto it, I was impeding the natural process of resolution and peace. I was working against my own best intentions.

I still don’t know if the resolution has began (lol my cynical brain in action). But I feel so much lighter now. I feel like I have more room for other things now; things that bring me joy and excitement.

 

Activities · People · Self

Meanings are meant to be lived or else they’ll have to die

I think it’s Zizek who said that quotes are meaningless because they can all be true. I got that from one of his videos I believe but I’m sorry ’cause I already forgot which so I cannot quote him directly.

Anyway, this thought just came back to me this morning. You see, I’m the kind of person who definitely digs quotes that I even follow those kinds of accounts on IG. I initially thought everybody is exactly the same, but turns out, not, because my partner is not so keen with them.

Well, to tell you, I just realized that all kinds of perspectives really have portions of truth in it, therefore, making them all meaningless in a way, cancelling each other out. I think what makes any thought meaningful is how it lives in our actual lives and how real people are affected by it. Thoughts don’t have inherent meaning or significance, that’s what I’d like to argue. Anything can be good or bad, but they’re not essentially either.

A perspective can be good for me but bad for someone else. I’d say, when it comes to picking out the beliefs to adopt, one must observe how it affects his/her life. By adopting a certain perspective, does it make one a better person or not? Does it make one happier, more grateful or not? Does it contribute in the expansion of other people’s lives or not? Does it cause joy or harm to oneself or to others? Does it make one achieve his/her goals or not? Is it empowering or not?

We are usually more able to let go of a habit or a relationship or practically anything once we’re clear with how it’s no longer serving us. We cling to things even if they’re no longer or have never been good for us because in one way or another, whether we’d like to admit it or not, they serve us, therefore subconsciously we think we need them.

So when we’re in conflict whether to keep or let something go, I think it would be helpful to ask ourselves, “Is this helping me become the person I want to be, or achieve the life I want to live?”, “Is this making me feel the things I want to feel such as being happy and at peace?”. I just realized that there is no point in keeping something which only eats up our spirit or makes us less of who we are. Yes we can keep on fighting for something we believe in, but if it’s not making us fully alive (and that means joyful), it’s a waste. We’ve already lost by losing our true selves.

When it comes to beliefs, I think we shouldn’t adopt a belief just because it has worked wonders for others. We should look how it’s working in our lives instead. Beliefs evolve, too, and many are meant to eventually die as we expand.

Activities · People · Relationships · Self

Rearranging perspectives

I believe being mean comes from the feeling of insecurity and that it’s an attempt to be in control in one way or another. When I am behaving in a mean way, it’s usually because I felt hurt and therefore threatened as well. I wanna bring back my presence and illusion of power by resorting to acting mean. This happens so automatically that if I am not aware of myself enough, it’s difficult to catch myself as it happens and correct my course of action.

We encounter people acting this way regularly everywhere – when we get up early in the morning and our mom or partner is already irritated for reasons we don’t understand, when we commute to work and we see drivers or passengers spilling wrath around them because of somebody’s little honest mistake, when we unintentionally disappoint our colleagues, our customers/clients, our bosses at work and their whole day gets ruined and we take the blow.

I used to quickly jump into conclusions when I experience these things. I would immediately rant inside my head about how mean this and that person is. But lately since I’ve become more aware of myself, too, I’ve become more understanding of others’ behavior as well. I would say most of the time, people are not really mean, they just act mean because they feel overwhelmed or powerless (which can mean the same thing at times).

Therefore, the right reaction is not to “get even” with them. It’s not wise to push back (well, unless your goal is to start a fight). If our goal is unity and harmony (and not proving your point), the appropriate reaction, I’d say, would be to embrace humility. First of all, we must acknowledge our contribution to the person’s feeling of upset, in case there is. If there is or there isn’t, the next thing to do is to understand how could the other person be feeling. We must put ourselves into his/her position to understand more how human he/she is behaving. Once we get a sense of it, we can identify the appropriate response that would make them less hurt, less overwhelmed and generally, less defensive. There are a few ways to respond. We can verbally/or in writing, acknowledge how they’re feeling and express how sorry we are that they’re feeling that way. We can explain that while it’s not our intention, we simply misunderstood them, or we were careless, or we were just not aware of what we should have done. By letting our own defenses down, we bring them closer to our side. Next thing is to provide them with a reassurance by giving them a game plan or a solution on what we’ll do to make up for our mistake or how we can avoid it from happening again.This is important for them to calm down and get back to trusting us again.

Saying sorry is not enough. We have to prove our sincerity by providing a clear description of what we’re gonna do or avoid doing in the future in case the same situation comes up.

I’ve practically been using this strategy both in my personal and professional relationships. I even do this with strangers (it’s in fact very useful with strangers). It doesn’t only help get the work done (whatever that may be) by keeping in harmony with those around me but it also helps my mood and sets my perspective and attitude in ways that are empowering for me. It makes me less defensive, less anxious, less unhappy when I obviously did something which upsets another person. It also makes me even more aware of my own thoughts, emotions and behavior.

Activities · Relationships · Self

Excitement is your life-changing ally

If you’re wondering which kind of high-frequency feeling can drive you best in giving birth to awesome changes in your life, I tell you – Excitement is what you’re looking for.

When you’re excited, everything else goes backstage. The horizon lights up and all you can see is the sun sun sun! Your vision is clear, your breathing, too. You begin to notice and attract all the excited creatures around you and all the exciting events. You wanna jump for joy and sing! The world is a beautiful place! You get too impatient to sleep. You want to keep awake and active!

This, my friend, is a fertile state to manifest what you mostly want! You’re open to more and more awesomeness because you are feeling awesome yourself. And you know that, in this state, you are unstoppable! Nothing and no one can rain on your parade. The cloudy skies clear up for you.

The trick is to keep yourself in this place of always finding something to get excited about. Big or small, it doesn’t really matter. The important thing is how it makes you feel. You should search for that feeling of anticipation, of looking forward, of jumping for joy, of running to welcome all the good things that are meant for you. Then start dreaming in this state. Start planning in this state. Start beginning projects, building new connections in this state. It won’t be long ’til you see the changes that you mostly want to happen unfold in front of you.

Activities · Self · Work

Here’s to an open secret

When somebody gets credit for something exceptional they did, we’re all wowed and star-struck – couldn’t believe how they could achieve something so well despite their apparent humanity.

What we don’t see are the innumerable hours spent practicing – and failing. Yes failing at what they’ve always chosen to love and do. Failing hard. Failing and taking the real blows. We only see them when they get exceptionally better at what they have chosen to pursue.

I want to make a virtual toast to those hours spent – grinding it out, pulling yourself up, pushing yourself forward, standing tall even when you’re in pits, trying and trying until you get it right – until you get better. Those are holiest hours. Those are what our desire for progress is really about. We are transformed mostly during those moments.

Don’t despair, my friend, if your work hasn’t paid off yet in the way you want it to. You’re being chiseled in the fire. Relish these moments, too. You will never be able to handle the successes in store for you, without first becoming the person you’ll be after going through this painstaking process.

Relationships · Work

Yeah, sometimes, looks can be deceiving.

Sometimes, people who appear extroverted (or who may really be extroverted) are really guarded inside. They may be sociable, energetic and expressive but when you try to connect with them on a more personal way, you find out that they’re actually closed off and you just can’t get past their self-imposed gate. You just feel it when you’re interacting with these kinds of people on a one-on-one basis. They’re usually good and comfy with groups, but when you put them in a more intimate setting, they kinda zone out or feel like they want to fly away.

On the other side, there are some people who seem reserved or shy or uninterested, they may sometimes even come off as boring. But when you engage them, they welcome you into their world of feelings, imagination and ideas. They are spontaneous, funny, deep and just overall exciting. They are interested about you and about many other things, too.

I think people are both open and closed in many ways and in varying degrees. We all need to achieve this sense of equilibrium in our own ways so we tend to be complicated at times. I like both types. But I tend to prefer the second one more (maybe because it’s more similar to me). I don’t have anything against the first type, I just think I prefer to, for instance, be friends or work with the second type because relationships with them have a better chance of becoming fun, rich and meaningful. The first type is also kinda tricky to be around with. You don’t know what they’re truthfully feeling. Sometimes you can’t trust what you get from them.

Activities · Self

Celebration is key to happiness!

Just recently, while I was in one religious gathering (I’m not a believer of religions, but I am still open to the riches and lessons which I can get from them), and I was singing and shouting and swaying to the beat of the worship songs (which I only did for the first time),

I realized that there was indeed, so much happiness in my heart, that my life was filled with so much joy and blessings. I realized that I’ve been downplaying my successes and joys because I didn’t have the right space to celebrate them. In fact, I didn’t know how to celebrate them at all.

It felt good to acknowledge the Divine’s presence in my life that has always been there and never left me. I was never alone. I began to see more clearly the journey I have been, how I went through the crazy roller coaster ride of my life and all the blessings I was given along the way. It dawned on me, too, how the Divine kept on manifesting itself through me and my life and how my relationship with it (or with my own divinity) got stronger through time.

As I said, I never saw myself as a religious person, even though I was brought up a Catholic and I went to a Catholic school for a decade.

But during that gathering, it made an impact on me when it was emphasized that, Jesus was able to survive everything he’s been through and even rose from his own grave, therefore we can also rise up from our own downfalls and any hardship we find ourselves in and follow his example. Nothing is too heavy or dark or even permanent. We can always rise up.

It made such a mark on me because looking back on my life so far, I am also a living proof that it’s true. We can rise up from a fall if we choose, too. We can rise up, start again and start from a better place, with a better vision. During those critical moments when I had to make myself stand up, all those were only possible because I let go and let the Divine work through me. I didn’t have to do it all on my own.

It didn’t matter to me if Jesus was a God or not. I won’t even bother going into the discussion of divinity. I believe Jesus must have existed, or someone like him, for this myth of his character and story to be passed on from generation to generation, across all nationalities. He could also be just a collective projection of the qualities we all possess. No matter what the truth is, I choose to look at him as an inspiration for being gutsy and strong in many ways.

My heart is celebrating because I’ve been through so much and I appreciate life a lot more now. The more hardships that I have, the more grateful I become, too. I look forward to participating in those kinds of gathering more because I feel free there. I can rejoice with others and celebrate my life, and fully acknowledge the presence of the Divine in my life. I cannot even find the words to express how good it felt like to surrender everything and just celebrate! There are just no words. The best thing I could do is probably cry happy tears!

Lately I always felt that I was unhappy with my life, like there’s always something missing. What I found out after that gathering was that, I wasn’t really unhappy – in fact, I was very happy! – I just didn’t know how to celebrate my happiness.

So friends, celebration is TOTALLY IMPORTANT for our own happiness! We gotta express our joy and gratitude completely in all the ways that we need and want!

Activities · Relationships · Self · Travel · Work

Important questions to ask yourself now

I took the challenge and answer this long list of questions by the amazing Celestine Chua. It’s a worthwhile activity. You’d have so many new insights and more energy for life once you finish it! Here goes mine:

Who are you? I’m  little girl in a big, infinite universe, learning and having fun. I don’t feel small, though, because I know I am part of all this greatness.

What are you passionate about? I‘m passionate about creating and learning new perspectives. I am passionate about growth and beauty.

What are the achievements you are most proud of? My ability to start over and over again, never losing my openness and faith in life and in myself.

What are you most grateful for in life? My loved ones, my health, my strengths and my introversion.

What are the most important things to you in life? Freedom, faith and fun!

How would you describe yourself? Curious, silly and gutsy.

What are your values? What do you represent? What do you want to embody? Same as my answer above: Freedom, faith and fun!

Do you love yourself? Yes. I am my own ally!

Why or Why not? Because I deserved to be loved!

How can you love yourself more today? By being less fearful and judgmental.

What is your ideal self? What does it mean to be your highest self? My ideal/higher self is free, fun and gutsy.

Look at your life now. Are you living the life of your dreams? Almost! I’m getting there bit by bit. I am the right direction.

If you have one year left to live, what would you do?  Help each of my loved ones in achieving an important goal. Travel the world and share what I pick up along the way. Keep on experiencing new things and learning/growing.

If you have one month left to live, what would you do? Same as my answer above, just condensed into a month. Haha!

If you have one week left to live, what would you do? You little devil. Same as my answers above, just condensed into a week! 

If you have one day left to live, what would you do? Go to a mountaintop and meditate. But seriously, yes that’s what I would do. I would want to be alone on this day.

If you have an hour left to live, what would you do? Write my last blog post.

If you have one minute left to live, what would you do? Meditate.

What would you do today if there is no more tomorrow? I’d be silly with everyone and fun.

What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life to date? Life is meant to be enjoyed. Joy and fun are at the core of life.

What advice would you give to yourself 3 years ago? “Invest in good makeup brushes.” Lol, JK. I would probably give this advise to my 27 yo self “Don’t be too hard on yourself – and everyone. Lighten up!”

If you are yourself 1 year from the future, how would you advise the you now? “Get off your buttsy butt and start working out!”

Is there something you’re still holding on to? Is it time to let it go? Yes, I still have a few people who I need to forgive completely. I’m working on it.

What are you busy with today? Will this matter 1 year from now? 3 years? 5 years? I’m busy with career and self-reflection. Definitely, these two will still be important a few years from now.

What are your Quadrant 2 tasks? Building my career and lifetime relationship.

What opportunities are you looking for? A new career position, more money, opportunity to travel to places I like.

How can you create these opportunities? Growing in my current company, connecting with the right people, asking the universe and the right people.

What are your biggest goals and dreams? Not to work a day of my life, travel and create.

What’s stopping you from pursuing them? …Why? How can you overcome them? I haven-t stopped pursuing them. I’m still headed in the right direction.

If you are to do something for free for the rest of your life, what would you want to do? Be a travel photographer.

What would you do if you cannot fail; if there are no limitations in money, resources, time or networks? Travel the world non-stop.

What do you want to achieve 1 year from now? A more established career position and more money! Aand a more fit body (nice abs and legs, yo)

… 3 years? I want to start living with my partner in a place we both love. I want to put up a business for my mom. 

…5 years? Travel around Europe!

… 10 years? Have kids with my partner and travel the world altogether!

How important are these goals to you? VERY IMPORTANT. Very meaningful.

What if these goals are doubled? Tripled? Magnified by 10? How would you feel? Would you prefer to achieve these or your previous goals? Oh hell yeah! Definitely I want to have and achieve more!

Who are the people who have achieved similar goals? … What can you learn from them? Probably many but I don’t personally know anybody who had.

Are you putting any parts of your life on hold? … Why? Yes, working out! Because I spend so much time at work and commuting to and from. By the end of the day I just want to sleep and have my needed alone time.

What’s the top priority in your life right now? Career and money!

What are you doing about it? I make sure I learn good and fast and that I am vocal with my bosses about my goals and achievements.

If you were to die tomorrow, what would be your biggest regret? What can you do now to make sure that doesn’t happen? That I was too lazy to work out and that I wasn’t able to forgive completely. I need to start finding a work out routine that I can stick to and I need to release my grudges and understand that they are no longer serving me or anyone else.

For every experience you get: What are the biggest things you have learned? The right decisions would always lead you to freedom and joy.

How can you do this better the next time? By reminding myself of this truth, that life is meant to to be lived and enjoyed.

If you have 1 million dollars, what will you do with it? Help people achieve their most important goals, travel the world and share my journey with others.

Do you love your job? Surprisingly, YES!

What is your ideal career? Having the freedom to be myself and be resourceful, working with people who can help me grow, materially rewarding, provides travel opportunities, provides a lot of growth opportunities for me.

How can you start creating your ideal career starting today? I’m already in it.  I am in the right place, at the right time, with the right people.

What is your ideal diet? Low carb, high in protein and fiber.

What do you need to do to achieve your ideal diet? Have more money so I can afford it.

What is your ideal home like? Cozy and European old-school.

What do you need to do to achieve your ideal home? Have an established career, lots of money and live in Europe.

What is your ideal physical look? I don’t need to lose or gain weight. But I want to be more fit. 

What do you need to do to achieve your ideal physical look? Work out! Lots of strength-training.

What is your ideal life? Doing the work that I love, travelling the world, being with my loved ones, creating, non-stop adventures, growth and expansion.

What can you do to start living your ideal life? I’ve already began!

What would you want to say to yourself 1 year in the future? It’s never too late to start pursuing a dream, a goal! 

…3 years? There’s no limit to what you can desire and achieve. So go crazy!

… 5 years? You’ve only just began. There’s so much more surprises and adventures ahead of you!

… 10 years? Life just keeps on getting better. Brace yourself for more awesomeness and share what you learn and who you are with the world!

What do you fear most in life? Losing everything that matters to me and going blind.

Is there anything you are running away from? Family responsibilities.

Are you settling for less than what you are worth? … Why? Not anymore.

What is your inner dialogue like? You can do anything you set your mind into.

What limiting beliefs are you holding on to? I have limited financial resources so I can’t do much and achieve much, and couldn’t become as interesting as I want to be.

Are they helping you achieve your goals? Yes in a way because it motivates me to achieve my desires and work on them, too.

What empowering beliefs can you take on to help you achieve your goals? Nothing is impossible. So keep your heart open. Desire and pursue your dreams.

What bad habits do you want to break? Avoiding necessary confrontations. Being too lazy to work out.

What good habits do you want to cultivate? A good work out routine that is fun for me so I can stick to it and a healthy diet.

What are the biggest actions you can take now to create the biggest results in your life? Find out a place to work out, make sure I get more pay so I can afford a healthier lifestyle in general.

Where are you living right now – the past, future or present? Present and future.

Are you living your life to the fullest right now? Not really. 

What is the meaning of life? Joy and expansion!

What is your purpose in life? Why do you exist? What is your mission? To expand and have fun!

How can you make your life more meaningful, starting today? By being more involved with the lives of the people I care about.

What drives you? Curiosity and the desire for a better life.

What are the times you are most inspired, most motivated, most charged up? When I am working on something creative, when I am on an adventure, when I have ideas to share.

What did you do during those times? How can you do more of that starting today? Creating, travelling, collaborating/being more outspoken.

How can you change someone’s life for the better today? By inspiring them and sharing some tools/assistance.

Who are the 5 people you spend the most time with? My partner (we’re physically apart but always essentially together), colleagues (let’s compile them as 1 person), family (same as with my colleagues).

Are these people enabling you or holding you back? My partner and colleagues are enabling me, my family is kinda holding me back because they don’t want most of the things that I want for myself.

What qualities do you want to embody? Where can you meet people who embody these qualities? Being free, faithful, gutsy and fun! At work, online, during my travels.

Who inspire you the most? My idol, Frida!

How can you be like them? By being unapologetically true to myself and by spending my life creating from the inside.

What is your ideal life partner like? Independent, strong, committed, loving, mature, creative, adventurous.

Where can you find him/her? I already did. I am already with him 🙂

 

Who is/are the most important person(s) to you in the world? My partner, aside from myself.

Are you giving them the attention you want to give? Yes, definitely.

How can you spend more time with them starting today? If we start living together in a few years from now 😀

What kind of person do you enjoy spending time with? Sensible, smart, passionate with many things, fun, candid, communicative. 

How can you be this person to others? I already am like this to most people.

Who do you want to be like in 1 year? I would like to be more outspoken and adventurous!

… 3 years? I would be more at peace in any situation.

… 5 years? I would like to be more trusting and daring!

… 10 years? I would like to be more fun and accepting.

What is one thing you’re going to do differently after reading this article? Create a more organized and a more compelling bucket list!

 

 

Activities · People · Relationships · Self

It also feels nice to be sad with someone you love.

This may sound like an antithesis  to my previous post, but really, it isn’t.

You’ll know you’re in the presence of someone who loves you when you feel the freedom to show them you’re a mess while saying “Yes, I am sad.” Period. Of course, you would discuss the reason why, with your full sad puppy face on. But you don’t have to explain more than the bare details. They would understand completely why you’re feeling that bad. They would, of course, try to brainstorm with you with the intention of cheering you up and because they really want to help you out, too. This definitely helps.

Although, sometimes, what helps you more is the fact that there is someone who is comfy enough to join you and look at you in your momentary sadness, without wanting to take you to optimism paradise in an instant.

The conversation can move further, naturally. You may start talking about other shitty things that happened to you or to those you know, you can even talk shit together to let steam off, you can even make fun of yourselves and the situation. Eventually, you’d just end up seeing yourselves laughing together at your private wicked conversation.

Then you realize, the goal  here is not to achieve a spotless life where nothing ever goes wrong, but instead, it’s about building your  life surrounded with people that help you go through all the ups and downs and the merry-go-rounds of life and always coming out stronger, wiser and with a bigger and deeper heart!

Working on happiness is not just a solitary activity. Happiness can be achieved using teamwork, too!  We should do whatever works for us. Sometimes, we can only achieve it on our own, in the stillness of our own presence. Other times, we need the help of others, too, because after all, we’re on the same boat here. We’re always helping each other out because at the bottom of it, we’re essentially part of each other. We are one!

Activities · Self

I have decided to be happy.

In the middle of yet another frustration (I easily get frustrated so this is no feat), I suddenly felt tired and defeated inside. Instead of my usual response, which is to wallow more and make things worse for me, I decided to give it all up. It’s a cliche, right, that we are in charge of our emotions, that we can always choose to be happy. But we don’t really think it’s true until it happens to us. And yes, sometimes, things just happen to us instead of us making things happen.

I heard myself saying (in my head),

I don’t wanna be frustrated. I choose to let this go, see the bright side and focus on that until everything else fades out. I don’t want to be upset anymore. What even got me into thinking that I was lacking, stuck and unsupported? That is simply not true. I am filled with abundance of many kinds. I see them more clearly now. I am grateful for them. I feel loved and secure. In fact, I am happy. I choose to remain happy.

I didn’t even plan to have that attitude. It simply happened. Now, whenever I would start to dip low in frustration, I would just switch that attitude on and I feel better. Not to say that I have become an escapist, that I simply choose not to deal with  my frustrations now. I believe that all our feelings are important because they tell us something that rings true for us, therefore we should pay attention to them. What I avoid doing now is going down with my emotions. I can deal with them without sinking with them.

The best part is, solutions come to the surface naturally once we take charge of our emotions! Maybe they’re always there after all, we just fail to notice them because we’re so busy wallowing in our self-made misery.

I hope I can maintain this new habit! I’m gonna grab on to this for the sake of my dear life!