People · Relationships

Be straightforward if you want to be taken seriously

People who have a habit of picking on your flaws and basically anything they can criticize but are short-handed when it comes to giving compliments – sounds familiar?

I would usually take these people personally (’cause almost always they are the ones who are the closest to us, too) because partly, I didn’t know how to handle them so they stop behaving that way towards me.

I tried ignoring them (like they didn’t do or say what they did and said), it didn’t work. They kept on treating me the same way.

I tried to rationalize with them, it didn’t work, too. Apparently, they only get more excited to pick on you when you respond to them in the first place (especially if you’re obviously annoyed). In a way you could say they’re demanding for attention.

Lastly, I dismissed them non-verbally, which can be verbally translated to “Leave me alone/Stop it/Go away” – and I think it worked.

These same people usually like bugging you as well for things they want you to do/expect you to do and criticize you for not doing them. I tried responding using the first two approaches, but they both didn’t work, too. What actually worked was when I directly told them “That’s not the kind of life that I want for myself.” They actually stopped bugging me about the same damn thing.

My main point here is that sometimes all we have to do is to  be direct and precise with our responses. Even if intuitively, it sounds unnecessary to be so exact (’cause hey, people are not so stupid or insensitive right so they should easily get our subtle responses), sometimes it’s the only thing that would set the boundary or shoot our message across, ’cause – sorry for bringing in the bad news – sometimes people are stupid and insensitive after all.

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