I used to think that all I needed to do to start my life again was to get away and cut all the things that I thought were weighing me down. I thought that would work. I even thought it was my only option.
Events unfolded, insights surfaced and transformations happened internally. It recently dawned on me after so much pushing and pulling that what I really needed was healing. I need to confront all the things that I want to change in my life and not escape them. I need to make peace with them. To be able to do that, I have to look at myself and fearlessly be honest with the issues that I need to work through and resolve.
It’s true that for some people, leaving and starting again in a different place, hoping to be a different person may be the best option in the beginning. Maybe that’s also the only way how to begin again especially if their current situation is life-threatening. However, even those people who are able to do that eventually have to go back again to their past, to the roots of the pain and heal them.
What I’ve realized was that if we leave without making peace with what was we couldn’t move forward because all that we would be bringing with us wherever we go was the exact frustration that we had. We would be unconsciously using this frustration as a filter for how we perceive our life in whatever form we shape it to be.
We have different processes of healing and different timelines. It depends on our level of suffering, our level of awareness, the amount and kind of support that we have and most of all our level of openness to our authentic selves and our willingness to grow. Some issues take years, decades, lifetimes to heal. Some only take hours, days, a minute. We could make the process slower or faster.
I’ve learned that the process doesn’t really have to be agonizing and long. The Universe doesn’t require us to suffer in order to grow. In fact, it doesn’t want us to suffer at all. We are the ones who are making ourselves suffer by resisting the natural flow of growth that are always happening in our core. By surrendering to the rhythm of our transformation we will not only relieve ourselves from suffering, we would above all, speed up the process. We’re already aided by the unseen forces of the Universe all the time, in all our lives. The best thing we could do is to surrender and simply follow what our spirit is inspired to do.
It took me a long while to come to this place of understanding and resolution. I felt like a caterpillar in its pupa for ages. Gladly, I’ve surrendered to the process of transformation so the Universe can do its magic on me. I smell the winds of an upcoming change. It’s big. It’s major. I feel like I can actually use my new wings to fly. I feel like I can actually own my power and take control of my life for the first time.
I’m ready to go out into the world again soon. I am ready to participate in the process of co-creation again soon. This time, with more wisdom of how things work and more capable of using my divine powers that have always been my birthright.
Thank you, Basel, for providing me the space to rest and recollect myself. Thank you for your beauty, your diversity, your acceptance, your free spirit. Thank you for always being nice to me, for never expecting anything in return except for enjoying my time with guiltless pleasure. Forgive me for not appreciating you sometimes and for projecting my frustrations on you. These months with you have been very lovely. I need to leave soon to wrap some things up back where I came from. I wish to see you again when I have found my center, when I am more authentic, when I am more confident. You’ll always be in my mind and heart. I’ll be bringing your peaceful and beautiful energy with me wherever I go.