Activities · People · Relationships · Self

How it feels like to be in a state of unity, not separation

I have been in a long distant relationship with my partner for almost three years now. While physically we have been mostly apart, spiritually we have always been together.

We did a couple’s meditation yesterday and our guides told us that there really was nothing to fear when it comes to our relationship. I have been preoccupied with our impending separation again soon these past few days that’s why I got that particular message. Through the meditation we felt the comfort, the feeling of being at home that we have always felt with each other. Our guides told us that there was nothing to fear because there really was never a separation – there never was and never will. We will always be united. We have always been.

Being in a long distance relationship has taught me what unity really meant and how it felt like. It’s both natural and something that you have to work on as well. It’s like chemistry. The basic chemicals are there but you gotta have the skills to pick the right ones and synthesize them to create something new. It takes intuition, patience and experience.

I have always been in relationships (of all kinds) that were coming full of conflict and divisiveness. It was mainly because I was separated from my own spirit. I was not being authentic to myself, I was not providing myself with what I needed, I was not honoring my own divinity, I was not loving and taking care of myself at all. I was in fact, the opposite. By clinging to things and people that were not good for me, I was self-destructive.

I attracted and co-created all sorts of toxic relationships. I enabled codependency, I allowed people to violate my boundaries because I didn’t have any or I had very low standards, I didn’t take enough responsibility for my own actions as well when I had to, I didn’t know how to confront and handle difficult situations, I didn’t know how to say No or how to say goodbye in an honorable but uncompromising way, to others and to myself as well. My life was entangled and painful to the core.

But since I started to focus on myself, to examine myself and slowly cleanse myself from all the attachments that didn’t serve me – habits, people, objects, activities – I started to notice that my life became peaceful. There was clarity. I could breathe. I could see the light. I could move without hurting. In fact, movement became pleasurable and liberating for me. Suddenly, there was ease.

One by one, the things and people who were nourishing to me came and stayed. They could finally come near me now because the storm that was at the center of my life has been diluted and vanished. I have transformed the destructive energy of the storm into something life-giving and life-supporting.

My relationships now are independent and intimate – intimate because independent and independent because intimate. I come from a place of self-empowerment, therefore, I no longer create codependency in my relationships. I have taught people how to have healthy boundaries because I have learned how to create mine. I no longer allow people to lean on too much on me because I no longer do it with them. I no longer allow people to get stuck in their negative cycles – acting out their shadows without healing them – and treat me badly because I have imposed discipline on myself as well. I have stopped letting myself act out my pain which only led me to hurt myself and others.

This is Unity. I feel united and whole in my spirit. Therefore, my relationships resemble that sense of unity as well. Things are not faultless and they’re ever changing (because they’re continuously changing), but the moving pieces always fall together in place, in harmony.

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