The importance of resolving internal conflicts in achieving our goals

Manifestation, The Self


I have been asking my mind lately why there were times when despite being clear with a goal and despite doing everything I can do to get it, why didn’t I get it? I didn’t even feel the Universe conspiring me to get it. What was going on?

Then an insight flashed into my mind:

I remembered those times when I would decide to go around all the boutiques in a shopping mall to find something for myself, i.e. a pair of shoes, a skirt and anything that I felt I would want to have. I would really spend hours walking around and checking each and every single thing. But after tiring myself for an entire afternoon or evening, I would come to a conclusion that “Nah, I didn’t really find anything that I liked.” I would feel relieved that I didn’t end up buying something because even though my actions showed my decisiveness and enthusiasm to shop, the truth was I didn’t really want to spend my money on shopping. So I ended up concluding that I didn’t find anything that I really liked.

I realized that I have been unintentionally applying this behavior to other aspects of my life as well. I would declare of wanting to achieve a particular goal, I would even do the steps to get there, but the underneath the surface, I would have conflicting feelings about it. I would feel unsure if that’s what I really wanted, sometimes I would feel guilt for wanting, sometimes I won’t feel deserving of what I wanted or sometimes I would feel the self-critical aspect of myself telling me that I was just gonna fuck it up in the end anyway so it’s best that I didn’t get it.

These emotions contradicted my intentions. I was sabotaging myself. Internal conflicts scatter our energy. When we feel conflicted we end up wasting our energy instead of using it all to achieve what we want through the power of our focus. Focus is very powerful because it doesn’t just enable us to begin, it enables us to keep on going until we get our desired outcome. When we don’t have focus, we don’t have clarity. We don’t have unity within ourselves, therefore, we cannot be in unity with the Universe. The Universe couldn’t help us.

When we don’t have focus we are not using our full capacity for creativity. We couldn’t easily find solutions and insights on our journey. We feel blocked. We feel uninspired. We easily get tired and discouraged.

We can resolve internal conflicts by first and foremost, going into alignment with our higher self, with our spirit. This means that we connect with our true divine nature. We connect to love, peace, joy. We become love, peace and joy. There is harmony within us. There is balance. There is strength. There is wisdom.

When we have finally gotten ourselves into this state, we can start asking for clarity or guidance on a particular issue. Emotion equals perspective. When we are in alignment, we embody positive feelings. This enables us to have a more expanded perspective, the kind of perspective that aligns with our highest good and the highest good of everyone. Likewise, when we go into alignment we automatically align to the collective spirit, to the Universe. The Universe has all the information about ourselves and everything else. Therefore when we tune into its wisdom, we can be sure that it will never harm us or lead us into the wrong path. It holds the truth. This will help us resolve whatever confusion we may have.

There are many times when we create goals without even being clear about who we really are and what matters to us. No doubt we don’t get end up getting them or we don’t feel truly fulfilled despite achieving them. Only the goals that resonate with our truth would motivate us to move and make things happen. Only the goals that resonate with our truth would bring us a deep sense of joy and meaning. We gotta get to alignment before we can identify what we truly want.

Part of the process is also identifying what blocks us from achieving our goals. We might have outdated beliefs or negative thought patterns. We might have self-destructive habits. We might be involved in toxic relationships.

We gotta clear out the things that weigh us down before we can really get into alignment. Our environment affects us so much more than what we may be giving it credit for. Our habits and routines shape our character and our life.

The truth is, setting into the journey of manifesting our desires is not only about getting the output. The output is very much important because without it the process of universal evolution will not be possible. Our material world shapes us, too, so if we want to change our reality, we gotta make it physical. We gotta learn how to master our creative ability.

However, this isn’t all there is. The process itself is equally juicy, is equally vital to us. Isn’t it what life is about? The process of growing through the journey of manifesting our desires is an incredible experience. In fact, isn’t it what we came to life for?

There is so much to learn from manifesting that we can apply to move ourselves forward in our soul’s journey. I hope that we can all enrich our life experiences by sharing the lessons we learn with each other. That’s what I hope by writing this post and by creating this blog to begin with. I hope this helps you in some ways.


Some tips for setting boundaries

Meditation/Visions, People & Relationships, The Self

I get easily stressed out when people ask me to do things in the middle of what’s already in my plate. You can say, I am quite strict with my schedule. I value my routines very much because I know that our life and ourselves are outputs of our habits, our rituals. What we do sometimes or once in a while, no matter how big we think they are won’t ever be as influential as what we do all the time. Likewise, I’m not the kind of person who thrives in rushing things. I get paralyzed when I am in a hurry. I like to take my time.

A couple of days ago I made up my mind to meditate on this. I wanted to know why I felt this way and what can I do to avoid/handle it.

I didn’t listen to a meditation guide or even a meditation music this time. I tried to but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t do it. I did a breathing meditation instead. A few minutes into it, a little boy started talking. I knew by just listening that it was the voice of my mind, my ego.

The little boy was inside his own room, playing with his toys. He was around 3 years old. He was enjoying his time alone when his mother suddenly came knocking on his door asking him to do something. He felt frustrated because he wanted to play. But he also felt obligated to obey his mother. His mother just barged into his bedroom and gave him orders. She didn’t even ask how he was, what he was up to and if it’s okay to do what he was asking him to do. The boy felt disrespected. He felt like his time and joy weren’t valued. He felt powerless. He felt imprisoned.

I knew what he felt and thought of because I asked him questions. Eventually another person started speaking to the boy, too. I knew it was my higher self.

She told him that if each person’s desires are in alignment with each other, everything would go on smoothly. But sometimes, it’s inevitable that people’s desires come in conflict with each other such as your desire to play and your mother’s desire to ask you to do something for her. We would feel conflicted because we do not want to disappoint other people in general. We instinctively want harmony with our environment.

She told him that he was not really powerless. There was something he can do in situations like that. First of all, he must identify if the relationship was important to him. If it wasn’t then, he should decline easily. But if it was he must be able to choose among the following responses:

  1. Please give me some time to think about it.

  2. Yes, I will do it but later or (insert specific time if you can). Give me some time to (insert what you are doing or would like to do first).

If the person obviously felt bad about your response, you can tell them:

Sorry, but I didn’t mean to disappoint you. I am not rejecting you. I want to do this for you/spend time with you. But I need some time for myself to (do something or figure it out if you can what was asked of you). I want to be sure I can do what you want the best way that I can/I can be completely present with you.

My higher self told both the boy and me that if we were only able to put those into practice at the right moments, then for sure it would make a difference. She said that if we felt conflicted about something and we were dealing with a person that was important to us, we should always ask for some time to think about it and decide. That would allow a healthy space for us to check in with ourselves and honor our needs and desires and for the other person to learn how to respect our boundaries.

It made so much sense to me. The advice was clear and practical enough that I could immediately apply it to my situation. I felt empowered and that feeling alone helped me calm down. It also helped me handle the situation (which I initially labeled as stressful and demanding) and the person (which I initially thought as needy and unreasonable) in a more mature way. It would take me a while to get used to it. But I’m glad that I have this valuable tool now that I can use.



Discernment in relationships

People & Relationships, The Self

I just wanna leave a quick note about the importance of being able to judge well when it comes to the people around us and the relationships that we allow into our lives.

Not to sound pessimistic, but I believe that most people express their interest with us and what’s going on in our lives simply because they are curious and not really because they genuinely care. Yes, genuine concern comes with good intentions and best wishes, but above all, it comes from a place of active participation. A person who genuinely cares will send their energy of love and peace to you whether you choose to keep them updated or not with regards to your life. A curious person, on the other hand, will just ask you for information as if they’re filling up a survey. Sometimes you would even feel a tinge of competitiveness in them. They want to know what’s up in other people’s lives, especially if they’re peers, so they can compare their lives with them. They could also be simply curious. They choose to pay much attention to the lives of others.

In our current society where our connection and disconnection with each other is just a click away, we must be wiser. We must train our powers of discernment. Especially for us, the sensitive types, we must learn how to create healthy boundaries. We must know what and who to let into our experience because not everyone will replenish our energy. Some people would only suck the life out of us. Some people don’t know how to give. Some people can’t. Sometimes we don’t want to take or we don’t need what they’re willing to provide us with.

It might look harsh at first when you start to filter out which ones you’re gonna let inside your world. But trust that it’s for your own good, and for everyone else’s, too. We must be able to be assertive enough to say when energies and intentions simply don’t fit. This way we can use our energy in activities and relationships that are truly inspiring and productive.

What fear really is

Healing, Meditation/Visions, The Self

I have been wanting to write about fear recently. But I’ve always felt incapable to do so, as if my thoughts were not complete yet, not coherent and rich enough to make sense yet. Until I meditated.

In my meditation, I found myself in a cave. There was an opening above me. The sunlight passed through down on me and I could see the leaves of the plants and the trees above. In front of me was a waterfall. It was facing me like a mirror. I was curled up like a ball in front of it. I knew I had to raise my chin and look at my own reflection and maybe stand up to see myself better. But I couldn’t.  I didn’t want to.

I was sobbing and my resistance was very strong.

A voice asked me why won’t I look at my reflection. I said I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. It was hurtful to do so. I struggled and cried but I did manage to look at my reflection.

I saw a statue-like image in front of me. My face was white. My entire body was white. I was wearing a long dress, like a robe, which stretched on to the floor. I looked like a statue, a white stone statue. I noticed some things on my back like wings. I asked the voice if they were wings and if I was indeed an angel. The voice said it didn’t matter. Who I was was divine.

I stopped sobbing. My cricket guide appeared. He invited me to go deeper into the cave. I found candles lined up in a circle. Slowly, a ghost appeared in front of me. I was a woman. Her eyes were closed. She said that I should awaken the snake inside me. At first it wasn’t clear to me. I thought she was referring to a dragon. But eventually the image solidified. The woman disappeared and she was replaced by a snake.

The snake told me to PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR RHYTHM. I asked him what he meant. He said he was referring to the rhythm of my own transformation.

The snake told me that I should BE STILL. BE CALM. BE QUIET. He would repeat it every time I would resist and my fears and doubts would take over me.

He even invited the spirit of my partner. My partner told me that I should follow what brought me joy; something that I found meaningful and that I was good at. He said that I shouldn’t worry about him or our relationship. He said we were tied to each other eternally. He said that he’s always there whether I ask for his presence and help or not. He told me to simply seek for his hand and I would find it. He would hold my hand instantly.

I asked the snake what should I do next. What should be my next priority. The snake said in the clearest of words: DO THE THING THAT SCARES YOU THE MOST.

He said that fears were simply doors to transformations. He said that if we accepted the invitation and walked in the doors, we will transcend our limits one after the other. He said that our fears lead us to the parts of us that needed to be conquered and integrated into our eternally powerful spirit.

Immediately after he said this, I knew what he was referring to.

I was being called to start the real work. I have just been invited to start the journey to confront myself, to purify myself of wrong beliefs and behaviors, to make amends for all the things that I’ve done to cause pain and distress to the people around me, to face my shadows and own them and to heal what needed healing instead of always wishing to escape.

I resisted to face my own reflection because it’s painful to see your own divinity as well. It hurt me to accept that no matter how ashamed I may be of myself, the truth was, my divine nature would never cease to be. It made me feel unworthy and also sad that I kept on turning my back on it.

The snake reminded me for the last time to BE STILL. BE CALM. BE QUIET. He said that time didn’t exist in the cosmos so I can do this for as long as I needed to. He said that he will go through this process with me from start to finish. I bit my lower lip. I knew I was in for a real crazy and scary ride. But I didn’t resist. I guess it meant, I said yes.

Staying Grounded

People & Relationships

A couple of days ago, I got a message from the angels. They told me that I had to find something that I lost in order to feel in alignment with my highest self again. I really couldn’t figure out what they meant. I couldn’t remember losing something and not having found it yet. I kept on asking them for the answer. I got the answer in my dream last night.

They said that what I lost was my connection to the earth. I lost my earthiness. They said that I used to be earthy. I used to engage in things that grounded me, that were natural. I even used to dress up in an earthy way. They said I needed to bring back that earthiness into my life. That information was directly connected to my soul’s journey. My soul’s journey at this point is about cleansing my spirit so I could be a part of nature again. It’s going back to earth. While that information made sense to me, it still wasn’t clear enough to me that I could apply it to myself.

Earlier, during breakfast, I shared my dream with my partner. Surprisingly, instead of being puzzled by it (like I was initially), it resonated with him very well. He got what it meant. Then we started discussing about it. He said that he used to be earthy as well, in the activities he engaged in and even with his clothing. We talked about our apartment, the food that we ate, our lifestyle and the types of activities that we could do to ground us to earth.

We agreed that being earthy was more important than we initially thought. It shaped the way we were. It shaped our mind, our character, our heart. Being in an artificial environment, taking in processed foods, engaging in artificial activities could cause disconnection between our spirit and the earth, which connected us to the cosmos.

I was glad to have shared that dream with him. It has helped both of us because we learned something valuable with our exchange of ideas. Now our task is get started with our grounding work.

Our Bodies, our Allies

Health, The Self

There are three types of attitude people usually have when they’re sick:

  1. There are those who pay attention to their bodies, listen to what they need and do their very best to provide it. When they don’t feel well their first response is to make sure they can make time for themselves to have a full rest. Their loyalty is to their bodies because they know their bodies are their greatest allies. They comfort their bodies like a mother comforting her sick child. They don’t force them to get well. They don’t even ask for anything from them except to rest without a worry in the world. They assure them that they’ll be staying by their side to look after them.
  2. There are those who ignore their bodies for as long as they can. They would keep on doing their work or even force themselves to get a lot busier, as if to fight against their illness. They would avoid going to the doctor but probably they would self-medicate. They have this attitude that taking a rest to get well is synonymous to accepting defeat, as if they’re enemies with the viruses/bacteria and/or their own bodies.
  3. There are those who directly fight with their own bodies. They force their bodies to get better soon and when they don’t they feel terribly frustrated. They feel embarrassed to be having a “weak” body. They feel imprisoned in their own bodies. They don’t take a rest or go to the doctor or get the proper medication out of understanding and love for their own bodies. They do it simply because they hate feeling sick, weak and shitty. They don’t treat their bodies as allies. They see them as opponents.

Those in the first category usually get better faster than the other two. The time and attention spent on taking care of the body and letting it have a complete rest are not the only things that matter.

Our attitude towards our bodies play an indispensable role. We could either feel united with our bodies or separated from it.  It makes all the difference whether we take care of the body out of love or out of spite.

Our bodies are one of the sources of our infinite wisdom. If we listen to them, we would know more about ourselves and how to transform our lives for our own good. Pain, discomfort, disabilities and illnesses are not just random things that happen TO us. They contain messages, pointers, valuable guidance that we can use to change what needs to be changed or understood and accepted what needs to be integrated in our spirit.

The Fish, the Wolf and the priceless wisdom they shared with me

Meditation/Visions, The Self

I meditated using the Himalayan Singing Bowls music again. I used it for the first time when I met my owl guide.

This second time I found myself in an underground spiritual (not religious) chapel, where people threw coins into a pond and surrendered their fears. They didn’t pray for anything. They didn’t ask for anything. All they did there was surrender their fears, let them go.

I came closer to the pond because I saw a big black, shiny fish opening its mouth showing me a key. It looked like it was giving me the key. I was sitting in a lotus position in front of the pond. I got up and walked to it. It completely spat the key on the edge of the pond. I asked the fish why did it have to give me a key. The fish asked me back, “Is it a key? It’s anything you perceive it to be.” The fish felt and sounded like masculine to me.

Still puzzled, I took the key. Suddenly I noticed I had chains on both of my feet. I unlocked them. I also unlocked the chain tying my wrist. I unlocked the chains on my arms which tied me to the people inside the chapel. They didn’t even seem to notice. They didn’t even seem to know that I was there. Maybe they didn’t see me. Lastly, I noticed a chain tying my neck to my mind. I unlocked it as well. I didn’t know these chains even existed before I got the key.

Suddenly the key changed into a very sharp, little, crystal dagger. I put it in my pocket wrapped around my hips.

I walked into a passageway where a steel door automatically opened. It’s a prison in the same underground chapel. I saw skeletons lying all around. I tried to push one gate and I discovered that it’s actually not locked. I went in to try to experience how it was like being inside one. Suddenly I had the impulse to look up the ceiling. I saw an opening. I didn’t understand why the prisoners died locked in while there was actually a way out.

I went up the stairs to the opening in the ceiling. I found myself in a misty and moonlit forest. Suddenly I was alone. I wondered where all the people in the underground chapel came from. I couldn’t see anyone walking towards it. I walked around. I saw a bonfire with a group of people around it. They looked like they were cooking some food and warming themselves up. They were wearing a hood similar to mine, it looked like a Jesuit priest’s robe. I wanted to see their faces but I couldn’t. I looked around and walked a bit further. When I turned my head to look at them again, they were gone, and so was the bonfire.

I stepped on a stone and it revealed a path to me. I followed it. There was a small house at the end of the path. I looked into my dagger inside my pocket. I saw it changing from a dagger into a key. Finally I decided it was a key. I used the key to open the door of the house.

I went in. I saw people who were wearing robes like mine getting busy on metal work. They were turning chains into keys. They were melting them and molding them. As I was observing them, walking around the place, something caught my eye from outside the window.

It was a fox. It was a black dog. No, it was a wolf. The wolf looked black in the dark. It was actually grey.

I went out of the house and followed the wolf. It lead me into another underground. In that place I saw foxes sculpting and crocheting – the universe. Yes, you got it right. They were creating galaxies, planets, starts and whathaveyounot.

We didn’t stay for long there. We went out and sat on a stone under an old tree.

The wolf said that all those that I saw were not real outside of my own mind. It didn’t mean they’re pointless or just hollow illusions. It only meant that everybody was a co-creator. We have always created worlds based on our perception and deliberate intentions and decisions on what to create.

I asked him questions. I asked him why did I receive a key. He said that maybe that’s what I needed at this point. What were keys for exactly? Keys were not just for opening doors. Keys were for opening locks in general. He said maybe I needed to free myself from all the self-imposed chains or chains that were imposed on me that I wasn’t even aware of to begin with. He said that there was always a way out. But opposite to the prisoners who died in the prison even if there was a way out, I should look up. Yes, that’s all I had to do.

I should open up my higher mind and seek the light, let the light penetrate me. I should seek to create a strong bond between my light and this universal light. I should come to that light every time I felt worried, afraid, lonely, confused, uncertain, ashamed, guilty, grieving, lost, etc. That light was my way out.

I told him about my current predicament, about my fears for my future and future with andy because they’re uncertain. I told him I didn’t know how to begin my life again, how to find that career that I would love and that would help me create abundance as well in my life. I also told him that I was scared of my future with my partner. What if he eventually decided not to leave his hometown? What if I never change my mind and still wouldn’t want to migrate to his hometown? Was it gonna be the end of our heavenly, powerful, loving, beautiful relationship?

The wolf said that I felt stuck in the dark because I didn’t know the other slices of the pie.

What about  his goals for himself and for the relationship? What about his opinions? What about his strengths and sense of responsibility to himself and the relationships? What about his own power? Likewise, what about the part of the universe? What about the plans of the universe? What about its wishes? What about its powers?

He said that I only knew my own part and I was just filling in the blanks from the pieces coming from the Fear Basket.

He said there were two baskets; Fear and Empowerment. He said that I chose to pick the pieces from the Fear Basket that’s why I felt fearful and stuck, feeling small.

I asked him how to change my attitude. He paused for a few seconds. Eventually he said that maybe doing that would be overkill. It would be overstretching myself. It’s not the easiest thing to jump from fear to empowerment. He said that perhaps the wisest strategy was to focus on what brings me joy. It didn’t even have to be a career or a hobby. I just needed to identify what made me happy and do or have more of it. By doing this he said, I would be totally engrossed in it, completely forgetting about my fears until events unfold, my partner would eventually do his part and the universe as well. Everyone would contribute in the unfolding of events naturally.

This made me feel really excited. He said, “Look at you, your face even lighted up just by talking about this. I think you already know what it is that brings you joy.” I nodded at him, smiling.

My journey to the Elf World

Manifestation, Meditation/Visions, The Self

I’ve been seeing 1, 11, 111, 1111 lately and recently I saw a video by Gigi Young talking about how elves told her that their energy was in the same frequency as 11. She also said that they were very cerebral beings. They were mostly focused on their minds. They were about ideas and the creation from those ideas.

That inspired me to do a meditation with the intention of connecting with them. I used a guided meditation again for this.

I found myself in a valley. On top of the valley was a greek-like structure. I knew the elves were inside. Before I went in, I spotted an elf going into his home. He had a pond with fountains in his yard. He also had a rose garden.

Then I went back to the greek-like structure. I sat in front of the main door, in the steps. An elf sat beside me. He was old, his hands were thick because he said he was a carpenter. He was interested in sculptures and wood work the most. He was even wearing slippers made from wood. He was gentle. His face was calm as well as his voice. I asked him questions like a curious kid. His name was Tom.

The house I went to happened to be his. He asked me to come to him to his house. I didn’t get the chance to go there myself. His house was high and it was made of wood. It was actually a tree house.  He showed me his library. He even showed me his journal. His favorite place was at the highest part of his house. He had a hammock there and a window in front. We sat there for quite a while staring at the moon and the stars. He said he felt peaceful there at the top. Peaceful and protected.

We went back to the greek-like structure. We went inside. I found a bonfire in the middle and some shadows sitting around it. Tom said that the structure was a meeting place for elves.  We sat side by side with them. I asked a question for everyone. I told them that I thought that maybe it was them who created Selena, my peacock bird behind me who lived inside a waterfall. Two elves appeared. One was dressed like a magus, the other looked like a scientist from the past. They were drinking something like tea.

The scientist/professor said that yes, they created her. They created her to help me balance my mind.

They said that the downside of being high minded was that you can get stuck in your mind or it can weigh you down. Selena was there to help me lighten my mind, to help me achieve that balance because they knew that I resided mostly in my head.

I told them about the 11 that I would see and I asked them if it’s  true that they vibrate at a similar frequency. They said yes. They said that they always left clues for beings to follow so they can come in their world. But only the ones who are at present can see the clues. But everybody’s welcome.

They said that their soul purpose is to create worlds but they need to collaborate with beings from all dimensions to create worlds in all dimensions.

They also explained that some things cannot manifest in a dimension because the laws there were different. But it didn’t mean it’s impossible. That’s why they need to work with the beings from different dimensions. It’s a collaboration.

I asked them how we could collaborate. They said that every being had a purpose of creating their own world. They were there to help everyone. They said I had to figure out what my ideal world looked like and they would help me build it.

Details like how would the people look like, how would they interact with each other, what would they prioritize, how would they have fun, where would they live, how would I look like and behave in that world, and so on and so forth had to be filled in by me.

They said that by imagining this world I was already creating it in another dimension. This created world could manifest into 3D in ways that 3D laws would allow. So it’s not useless to build a world in another dimension. It was actually basic. They said that everything we could see in our 3D world now first existed in a different dimension because they first existed as ideas in someone else’s mind.

So in order for us to create something in 3D it had to be first created in other dimensions. They would help me by reminding me which details would I need to fill in and by asking me questions that would enable me to reflect on my motives and reasons or what issues I need to work on myself.

They gave me a cup and inside they said was a light tea from outerspace and also from under the deepest parts of the sea. Yes, they said that the ocean had its own kind of light. I drank the light tea. I said goodbye to them and thanked them for their help and for being a power team. They said I could come back anytime especially now that I knew the way.

It’s time for me to go to work. I have to figure what kind of world do I really want to create and live in. Wow.

My Peacock Sister Fairy

Meditation/Visions, The Self, Women's Room

I was doing a visualization meditation on letting go. Even before the guide told me to visualize a library on top of the stairs, I already knew it was a library. It was an old library made with dark mahogany wood. I sat in a chair made of dark brown leather. I picked up an old book. I went inside the book then I found myself in a forest similar to where I met my panther animal guide. The owl I recently met was there, too, in one of the trees.

I heard the sound of a waterfall then suddenly saw myself sitting in a lotus position in between waterfalls. I wasn’t wet. I was sitting in a rock. In front of me was another waterfall. The water was so clear and stable that I could clearly see my reflection. I saw myself there sitting. My eyes were closed.

Suddenly behind me, a bird appeared. It had a small head, it was sitting/floating behind me and it’s wings were spread out like an eagle. At first it’s feathers were dark brown. Slowly they turned into dark blue. Some crown-like feathers or tendrils appeared at the top of its small head like a crown. I also saw the beak in close up and little diamonds appeared. It sort of looked like a peacock but not really. Its wings were slowly adorned with little glittery things like gems.

Suddenly I found myself inside the spirit of the bird. It’s like I went inside her and saw the world through her eyes, although her consciousness was inside her at the same time.

We went inside the waterfall in front of us. Inside it was like a deep cave with some light inside. The little patches of light came from the fire stored inside troughs. Inside the troughs are precious gemstones, too. The bird went near a trough and inside it was a ball of fire. We didn’t stay long.

During that time inside the cave I was asking her if it was her home. She said yes. She also said that those were gemstones. She said that she didn’t get them anywhere. They just appeared on their own. I asked her if she was wealthy having so many gemstones and even
diamonds in her beak and feathers. She said yes, she’s wealthy. I asked her what she was exactly. She told me she didn’t know. She didn’t even know where she came from or how she came into being.  She just told me she slowly materialized and that it felt natural for  her to be with me. She said she was like my light, my energy, my aura.

I went back to the library, downstairs and out of the door, back to where I was really sitting while doing the meditation. The magical bird went out the door with me. She’s still here with me somewhere perched on my shoulders or floating behind me or flying beside me.

She told me that if I wanted to know more about her I should probably ask the alchemists who made her. Maybe I should ask the waterfall or the mountains where the waterfall is. Maybe only they can tell me the answers to my questions.

She also told me that maybe her practical use for me is to guide me with regards to managing my energy. Maybe I gotta observe her. If she turned brown again or plain or ugly, maybe it meant I was having those kinds of frequencies in me as well.

She had this very innocent energy like a child or a pet. She’s neither dependent nor needy. She’s actually worry-free. She told me she didn’t know the answers to my questions because that was the truth. She really didn’t know. And she didn’t mind that she didn’t know.


This is so magical! I have been attracting animal spirit guides lately. First was the male, mature black panther, then the curious owl with a boy scout spirit, then this magical, flamboyant peacock-like bird with an innocent spirit, too. This is so so cool! I am so thrilled and grateful for all of them and the Universe for sending them to me!

My Soul’s Journey

Life path, Meditation/Visions, Places, The Self

This morning I had the inspiration to meditate on my soul’s journey. My intention was to understand it more so I can better understand the events in my 3D life and how I can better navigate it to the benefit of all the parts of my selves, all my parallel lives.

I found this powerful meditation music on YouTube. I usually prefer to listen to an audio guide or a meditation music when I want to address a certain issue. It is more effective for me and more enjoyable, too. As always, I believe that nothing is random. We get what is the reflection of our subconscious. Even our imaginations are not random. I knew that this I bumped into this music because it is related to my soul journey and therefore it was right for me to use it.

This is what I experienced:

I was in the middle of a dessert, sitting in a lotus position on a cliff. I was facing these rocky mountains. The sky was clear and I could see the clouds floating calmly.

Suddenly a man came with a camel carrying all sorts of stuff. It looked like he was traveling. His energy was calm and so was the animal.

Moments passed by and more people came, too, on foot, with their animals. Men, women, children, all with their belongings with them. They’re walking in a coordinated way, as if they’re following an invisible line. When I zoomed into them to know more  about what’s going on, I found out that they’re migrating to a place together but they were all inside themselves, reflecting/meditating/praying. They’re not talking to each other, they’ll just sometimes glance at each other or assist each other with carrying their loads.

They were in this meditative state because their souls were hungry for it. Their souls wanted to do it. They accepted this as part of their fate, their journey. They didn’t question it. They were moving because they were following the music in their heart, leading them the way. It’s like a magnet pulling them to a place they didn’t really know where. For them, the journey was more important than the destination. In fact, the journey was what it was all about. They were merely creating the destination while they’re in the journey. But they knew that the destination was just a byproduct of their journey, therefore the destination changed, too as they went through their journey.

A woman looked at me and we communicated with our thoughts. She said: “I see you. I see your journey. I honor your journey. We’re together in this journey but we also have our individual journeys that we need to go through.”

The night came. They gathered together around a bonfire. They were playing drums and dancing. They were dancing with eyes closed. Although they gathered together, they were dancing alone, deep inside their spirit. Dancing was their way of cleansing their souls, stripping all the accumulated emotions, beliefs and attachments that no longer served them, that weighed them down. As I saw them danced, I felt it in myself, too. I saw myself dancing on top of a cliff under the full moon. My eyes were closed and I moved as if I was exorcising the debris of lies which still clung to my spirit. I was crying because it was another way of cleansing my spirit as well. The music stopped. The dancing stopped, too. The people lied down under the night sky filled with stars. They closed their eyes.

The next morning came, the people packed their bags and started to walk again. This time, they felt more alive, more energetic – lighter. Their heads were clearer. They started to smile to each other, too and whistle from time to time. This time they moved faster, too, and I noticed that animals were walking, crawling and running alongside them: goats, lions, elephants, giraffes, horses, snakes, insects. Different kinds of birds were flying above them, moving in the same direction. The trees gave way to them and helped them move forward. It’s as if by cleansing themselves the night before, they’re able to go back to being part of nature again. They become One again.

This explains my longing to just go deep inside me, reflect, listen and understand from that place. I never really felt a pull to do something in particular even though I have achieved many things, explored and experimented and created all my life. The things that I have done would always take me back to that meditative state and see the world from the silence of my spirit.

Maybe my current life is about the journey of meditating and cleansing my spirit, of removing all the debris that are weighing me down. It is about going back to my divine nature and the fact that I am one with everything. It is also about being present and remembering that we create our destination as we go through our journey, so nothing is ever permanent.

Every outcome shifts and they shift depending on who we are becoming.

This leads me to think that maybe I have to stop berating myself for not knowing where to go, not having a “life purpose” or a pull to do something in particular.

This is MY PULL. My pull is to go inwards, because that is the only way I could move forward my journey.

There are no sign posts or maps to guide me through, only the pull of my soul can guide me.