The importance of resolving internal conflicts in achieving our goals

Manifestation, The Self


I have been asking my mind lately why there were times when despite being clear with a goal and despite doing everything I can do to get it, why didn’t I get it? I didn’t even feel the Universe conspiring me to get it. What was going on?

Then an insight flashed into my mind:

I remembered those times when I would decide to go around all the boutiques in a shopping mall to find something for myself, i.e. a pair of shoes, a skirt and anything that I felt I would want to have. I would really spend hours walking around and checking each and every single thing. But after tiring myself for an entire afternoon or evening, I would come to a conclusion that “Nah, I didn’t really find anything that I liked.” I would feel relieved that I didn’t end up buying something because even though my actions showed my decisiveness and enthusiasm to shop, the truth was I didn’t really want to spend my money on shopping. So I ended up concluding that I didn’t find anything that I really liked.

I realized that I have been unintentionally applying this behavior to other aspects of my life as well. I would declare of wanting to achieve a particular goal, I would even do the steps to get there, but the underneath the surface, I would have conflicting feelings about it. I would feel unsure if that’s what I really wanted, sometimes I would feel guilt for wanting, sometimes I won’t feel deserving of what I wanted or sometimes I would feel the self-critical aspect of myself telling me that I was just gonna fuck it up in the end anyway so it’s best that I didn’t get it.

These emotions contradicted my intentions. I was sabotaging myself. Internal conflicts scatter our energy. When we feel conflicted we end up wasting our energy instead of using it all to achieve what we want through the power of our focus. Focus is very powerful because it doesn’t just enable us to begin, it enables us to keep on going until we get our desired outcome. When we don’t have focus, we don’t have clarity. We don’t have unity within ourselves, therefore, we cannot be in unity with the Universe. The Universe couldn’t help us.

When we don’t have focus we are not using our full capacity for creativity. We couldn’t easily find solutions and insights on our journey. We feel blocked. We feel uninspired. We easily get tired and discouraged.

We can resolve internal conflicts by first and foremost, going into alignment with our higher self, with our spirit. This means that we connect with our true divine nature. We connect to love, peace, joy. We become love, peace and joy. There is harmony within us. There is balance. There is strength. There is wisdom.

When we have finally gotten ourselves into this state, we can start asking for clarity or guidance on a particular issue. Emotion equals perspective. When we are in alignment, we embody positive feelings. This enables us to have a more expanded perspective, the kind of perspective that aligns with our highest good and the highest good of everyone. Likewise, when we go into alignment we automatically align to the collective spirit, to the Universe. The Universe has all the information about ourselves and everything else. Therefore when we tune into its wisdom, we can be sure that it will never harm us or lead us into the wrong path. It holds the truth. This will help us resolve whatever confusion we may have.

There are many times when we create goals without even being clear about who we really are and what matters to us. No doubt we don’t get end up getting them or we don’t feel truly fulfilled despite achieving them. Only the goals that resonate with our truth would motivate us to move and make things happen. Only the goals that resonate with our truth would bring us a deep sense of joy and meaning. We gotta get to alignment before we can identify what we truly want.

Part of the process is also identifying what blocks us from achieving our goals. We might have outdated beliefs or negative thought patterns. We might have self-destructive habits. We might be involved in toxic relationships.

We gotta clear out the things that weigh us down before we can really get into alignment. Our environment affects us so much more than what we may be giving it credit for. Our habits and routines shape our character and our life.

The truth is, setting into the journey of manifesting our desires is not only about getting the output. The output is very much important because without it the process of universal evolution will not be possible. Our material world shapes us, too, so if we want to change our reality, we gotta make it physical. We gotta learn how to master our creative ability.

However, this isn’t all there is. The process itself is equally juicy, is equally vital to us. Isn’t it what life is about? The process of growing through the journey of manifesting our desires is an incredible experience. In fact, isn’t it what we came to life for?

There is so much to learn from manifesting that we can apply to move ourselves forward in our soul’s journey. I hope that we can all enrich our life experiences by sharing the lessons we learn with each other. That’s what I hope by writing this post and by creating this blog to begin with. I hope this helps you in some ways.


Some tips for setting boundaries

Meditation/Visions, People & Relationships, The Self

I get easily stressed out when people ask me to do things in the middle of what’s already in my plate. You can say, I am quite strict with my schedule. I value my routines very much because I know that our life and ourselves are outputs of our habits, our rituals. What we do sometimes or once in a while, no matter how big we think they are won’t ever be as influential as what we do all the time. Likewise, I’m not the kind of person who thrives in rushing things. I get paralyzed when I am in a hurry. I like to take my time.

A couple of days ago I made up my mind to meditate on this. I wanted to know why I felt this way and what can I do to avoid/handle it.

I didn’t listen to a meditation guide or even a meditation music this time. I tried to but I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t do it. I did a breathing meditation instead. A few minutes into it, a little boy started talking. I knew by just listening that it was the voice of my mind, my ego.

The little boy was inside his own room, playing with his toys. He was around 3 years old. He was enjoying his time alone when his mother suddenly came knocking on his door asking him to do something. He felt frustrated because he wanted to play. But he also felt obligated to obey his mother. His mother just barged into his bedroom and gave him orders. She didn’t even ask how he was, what he was up to and if it’s okay to do what he was asking him to do. The boy felt disrespected. He felt like his time and joy weren’t valued. He felt powerless. He felt imprisoned.

I knew what he felt and thought of because I asked him questions. Eventually another person started speaking to the boy, too. I knew it was my higher self.

She told him that if each person’s desires are in alignment with each other, everything would go on smoothly. But sometimes, it’s inevitable that people’s desires come in conflict with each other such as your desire to play and your mother’s desire to ask you to do something for her. We would feel conflicted because we do not want to disappoint other people in general. We instinctively want harmony with our environment.

She told him that he was not really powerless. There was something he can do in situations like that. First of all, he must identify if the relationship was important to him. If it wasn’t then, he should decline easily. But if it was he must be able to choose among the following responses:

  1. Please give me some time to think about it.

  2. Yes, I will do it but later or (insert specific time if you can). Give me some time to (insert what you are doing or would like to do first).

If the person obviously felt bad about your response, you can tell them:

Sorry, but I didn’t mean to disappoint you. I am not rejecting you. I want to do this for you/spend time with you. But I need some time for myself to (do something or figure it out if you can what was asked of you). I want to be sure I can do what you want the best way that I can/I can be completely present with you.

My higher self told both the boy and me that if we were only able to put those into practice at the right moments, then for sure it would make a difference. She said that if we felt conflicted about something and we were dealing with a person that was important to us, we should always ask for some time to think about it and decide. That would allow a healthy space for us to check in with ourselves and honor our needs and desires and for the other person to learn how to respect our boundaries.

It made so much sense to me. The advice was clear and practical enough that I could immediately apply it to my situation. I felt empowered and that feeling alone helped me calm down. It also helped me handle the situation (which I initially labeled as stressful and demanding) and the person (which I initially thought as needy and unreasonable) in a more mature way. It would take me a while to get used to it. But I’m glad that I have this valuable tool now that I can use.



Discernment in relationships

People & Relationships, The Self

I just wanna leave a quick note about the importance of being able to judge well when it comes to the people around us and the relationships that we allow into our lives.

Not to sound pessimistic, but I believe that most people express their interest with us and what’s going on in our lives simply because they are curious and not really because they genuinely care. Yes, genuine concern comes with good intentions and best wishes, but above all, it comes from a place of active participation. A person who genuinely cares will send their energy of love and peace to you whether you choose to keep them updated or not with regards to your life. A curious person, on the other hand, will just ask you for information as if they’re filling up a survey. Sometimes you would even feel a tinge of competitiveness in them. They want to know what’s up in other people’s lives, especially if they’re peers, so they can compare their lives with them. They could also be simply curious. They choose to pay much attention to the lives of others.

In our current society where our connection and disconnection with each other is just a click away, we must be wiser. We must train our powers of discernment. Especially for us, the sensitive types, we must learn how to create healthy boundaries. We must know what and who to let into our experience because not everyone will replenish our energy. Some people would only suck the life out of us. Some people don’t know how to give. Some people can’t. Sometimes we don’t want to take or we don’t need what they’re willing to provide us with.

It might look harsh at first when you start to filter out which ones you’re gonna let inside your world. But trust that it’s for your own good, and for everyone else’s, too. We must be able to be assertive enough to say when energies and intentions simply don’t fit. This way we can use our energy in activities and relationships that are truly inspiring and productive.

What fear really is

Healing, Meditation/Visions, The Self

I have been wanting to write about fear recently. But I’ve always felt incapable to do so, as if my thoughts were not complete yet, not coherent and rich enough to make sense yet. Until I meditated.

In my meditation, I found myself in a cave. There was an opening above me. The sunlight passed through down on me and I could see the leaves of the plants and the trees above. In front of me was a waterfall. It was facing me like a mirror. I was curled up like a ball in front of it. I knew I had to raise my chin and look at my own reflection and maybe stand up to see myself better. But I couldn’t.  I didn’t want to.

I was sobbing and my resistance was very strong.

A voice asked me why won’t I look at my reflection. I said I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. It was hurtful to do so. I struggled and cried but I did manage to look at my reflection.

I saw a statue-like image in front of me. My face was white. My entire body was white. I was wearing a long dress, like a robe, which stretched on to the floor. I looked like a statue, a white stone statue. I noticed some things on my back like wings. I asked the voice if they were wings and if I was indeed an angel. The voice said it didn’t matter. Who I was was divine.

I stopped sobbing. My cricket guide appeared. He invited me to go deeper into the cave. I found candles lined up in a circle. Slowly, a ghost appeared in front of me. I was a woman. Her eyes were closed. She said that I should awaken the snake inside me. At first it wasn’t clear to me. I thought she was referring to a dragon. But eventually the image solidified. The woman disappeared and she was replaced by a snake.

The snake told me to PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR RHYTHM. I asked him what he meant. He said he was referring to the rhythm of my own transformation.

The snake told me that I should BE STILL. BE CALM. BE QUIET. He would repeat it every time I would resist and my fears and doubts would take over me.

He even invited the spirit of my partner. My partner told me that I should follow what brought me joy; something that I found meaningful and that I was good at. He said that I shouldn’t worry about him or our relationship. He said we were tied to each other eternally. He said that he’s always there whether I ask for his presence and help or not. He told me to simply seek for his hand and I would find it. He would hold my hand instantly.

I asked the snake what should I do next. What should be my next priority. The snake said in the clearest of words: DO THE THING THAT SCARES YOU THE MOST.

He said that fears were simply doors to transformations. He said that if we accepted the invitation and walked in the doors, we will transcend our limits one after the other. He said that our fears lead us to the parts of us that needed to be conquered and integrated into our eternally powerful spirit.

Immediately after he said this, I knew what he was referring to.

I was being called to start the real work. I have just been invited to start the journey to confront myself, to purify myself of wrong beliefs and behaviors, to make amends for all the things that I’ve done to cause pain and distress to the people around me, to face my shadows and own them and to heal what needed healing instead of always wishing to escape.

I resisted to face my own reflection because it’s painful to see your own divinity as well. It hurt me to accept that no matter how ashamed I may be of myself, the truth was, my divine nature would never cease to be. It made me feel unworthy and also sad that I kept on turning my back on it.

The snake reminded me for the last time to BE STILL. BE CALM. BE QUIET. He said that time didn’t exist in the cosmos so I can do this for as long as I needed to. He said that he will go through this process with me from start to finish. I bit my lower lip. I knew I was in for a real crazy and scary ride. But I didn’t resist. I guess it meant, I said yes.

Staying Grounded

People & Relationships

A couple of days ago, I got a message from the angels. They told me that I had to find something that I lost in order to feel in alignment with my highest self again. I really couldn’t figure out what they meant. I couldn’t remember losing something and not having found it yet. I kept on asking them for the answer. I got the answer in my dream last night.

They said that what I lost was my connection to the earth. I lost my earthiness. They said that I used to be earthy. I used to engage in things that grounded me, that were natural. I even used to dress up in an earthy way. They said I needed to bring back that earthiness into my life. That information was directly connected to my soul’s journey. My soul’s journey at this point is about cleansing my spirit so I could be a part of nature again. It’s going back to earth. While that information made sense to me, it still wasn’t clear enough to me that I could apply it to myself.

Earlier, during breakfast, I shared my dream with my partner. Surprisingly, instead of being puzzled by it (like I was initially), it resonated with him very well. He got what it meant. Then we started discussing about it. He said that he used to be earthy as well, in the activities he engaged in and even with his clothing. We talked about our apartment, the food that we ate, our lifestyle and the types of activities that we could do to ground us to earth.

We agreed that being earthy was more important than we initially thought. It shaped the way we were. It shaped our mind, our character, our heart. Being in an artificial environment, taking in processed foods, engaging in artificial activities could cause disconnection between our spirit and the earth, which connected us to the cosmos.

I was glad to have shared that dream with him. It has helped both of us because we learned something valuable with our exchange of ideas. Now our task is get started with our grounding work.