Activities · Relationships · Self

About a Breather (Part One)

I didn’t plan to quit my personal use of social media (Facebook and Instagram). Actually, I still couldn’t identify how it all began. All I can remember was that I got so active on it because of my start-up to the point that I got sick of it. It was consuming a lot of my time and emotions (yes I’m an emotional being!) but it’s not giving me satisfying results in exchange. My reflections on it spilled over to the other aspects of my life which were related to social media in general, in one way or another.

At first I simply deleted my contacts on Facebook and just left a few. After a few weeks, I decided to delete everybody except for my partner and his sister (because we use Facebook to text, call and share interesting stuff we find online). I thought about deleting my account and just creating a new one so I could start fresh, but I figured out that it would be too much work on my part to like the same pages again (hey, they’re so precious to me!!!). As of Instagram, I just deleted the photos of me with my boyfriend because I didn’t want my personal stuff out in public anymore. I couldn’t entirely quit both because I need them for my business.

I am not anti-social media. Just like anything, it’s a tool that we can use for however we please. It has advantages and disadvantages based on how we expect it to work for us. The main reason I stopped using it personally was because it’s become so time-consuming. Just like most Facebook users maybe, it has become my habit to browse my newsfeed for interesting stuff whenever I can (when I wake up, before I go to sleep, during lunch break, when I’m in the bus, when I’m falling in line, etc.). I didn’t actually get updates from my contacts anymore during the last few months before I quit (they simply didn’t appear or it’s because I unfollowed them). But my newsfeed was flooded with interesting things from visual arts, to films, to fashion, to architecture, to travel, to science and technology, world affairs, to health and spirituality, among others.

Whenever I missed just a day of browsing them, I have noticed that I would immediately feel like a loser! Like I missed A LOT about life and the universe and that I was gonna suffer from my own ignorance as a result.

My second reason was because I didn’t find it socially useful anymore. I stopped being interested to post stuff about my life. I stopped being interested with what my contacts posted as well. I started wanting to have more personal connections again.

I didn’t want to find out about my friends’ lives from their Facebook posts anymore! I wanted to go back to the old ways and just share things directly to those I cared about and who cared about me. I wanted to stop broadcasting the bits and pieces of my life out in the open, free for all.

Even if I just had a handful of contacts by the end of my last few months (around 33), I still felt it so impersonal (and vulgar) to not be directly talking to anybody in particular. In addition to that, I even deactivated my other account which I just created and maintained for my family and a few relatives. I merely open it now whenever I feel curious. There’s actually no need for me to check it since I am always with them.

My third and last reason was because I simply got tired and lazy watching myself from other people’s point of view.

I. just. didn’t. want. it. anymore. I won’t say I’ll never want to do it, to feel it again. But I just don’t want it now. Yes, it felt good to share my happiness and excitement from time to time. But I guess it  eventually felt more like a job to me than something I simply enjoyed doing. 

 

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