It’s nice to have two legs. It’s nice to stand on two feet. Most probably, it’s better to have two legs and two feet instead of just one or maybe, let’s say, three.
It’s important to have a strong support system. It’s true that we cannot live alone (but we’re never really alone, anyway). It’s enriching to share our lives with others.
But growing also entails being able to stand alone, like standing on one foot. Time will come that we would have to learn how to find our strength in our core. Eventually we’ll realize the importance of finding our center and balance.
It’s not about being arrogant or being cold and detached. It’s about being decisive and wise enough to assert our own independence.
Independence is necessary in establishing healthy relationships both towards oneself and others. It’s not always good – or even possible – to share everything with someone. A person can only share and take on so much- both the positive and the negative. Our relationships are alive, mutual and organic.We have each of our own needs and preferences.
When I was younger, I used to feel compelled to share everything with my loved ones – my parents, close girl friends, my lover. I even thought it was healthy to do it at all times.
Yes, open communication is important to healthy relationships but not to the point that you’re stepping onto personal boundaries – both yours and others. I’ve come to realize that sharing too much could also lead to stunted personal and relationship growth.
I’ve become more private in celebrating my triumphs and grieving for my losses lately. This is not a sign of moving away from the people I love. This is just my way of moving closer to my Higher, Wiser, Powerful Self.
I need to do this to be more familiar with my own voice and to get better in trusting it. I need to learn how to trust my own wisdom, to shape and express my own opinions and decisions and to feel and express my own feelings without asking for external validation.
I must also learn how to give my relationships the space they need to breathe and thrive. My loved ones are not sponges. My relationships are not dump sites. It doesn’t matter what I dump into them, the fact is they’re simply not places to dump stuff in. *winks
Strength is both found and cultivated in openness and in silence, in complete sharing and independence. Both ways of relating are important in different situations.
I enjoy doing the yoga tree pose not really because of the challenge it brings but mostly because of the peace I get from being fully present in my own existence; knowing that I can be strong and enough in any situation for as long as I stand from the core of my being.