Dis-eases as Doors to spiritual growth

Healing, Health

Learning about a health condition (a dis-ease) is not primarily about discovering that we’re doing something wrong, ’cause for more often than not, we already know that.

It’s actually an indicator that the time has come for us to heal – that we are ready to change.

It’s a door towards a renewed path. We can either proceed and resolve to do whatever it takes to stay on that path or we can simply stand before it – frozen and miserable.

Dis-eases are not punishments. They’re light leading us towards a deeper understanding. They’re doors to spiritual growth.

Any kind of imbalance leads to a certain kind of dis-ease.

If we don’t know how imbalance feels like, how could we know how balance feels like?

Anxiety will only result to more imbalances and then more dis-eases. What’s advisable is for us to go inwards and check what we have been suppressing there which might have caused the imbalance. Let’s try to remember the ways in which we might have neglected and maybe even abused ourselves.

Suffering/dying or recovering from a dis-ease is really the last thing we should be concerned with. What we must focus on is figuring out what the dis-ease is trying to tell us and how to follow the path it’s leading us into.

In our stillness, we’ll receive the inspiration that we need to understand what is being revealed and to take action according to divine guidance and timing.


To the New that I have called and manifested, to the New that is currently at my feet

Life path, Manifestation, The Self

Let me take a pause and breathe. Please give me some time to finish this weeding out that I have long begun. I don’t wanna do all these things in a hurry because I wanna make sure I’m able to evaluate clearly which I can and cannot bring with me when I take the journey with you.

I don’t have to announce my parting but I have to say goodbye in silence – for myself. I need to feel closure for myself. I want to feel that my growth and conscious decision are making all these possible.

I wanna own all my goodbyes and hellos.

I wanna shed off all the guilt, shame and regret that were left of me. I won’t be needing any of them anymore.

Let me do this in my own thorough way. Let me walk my baby steps. Let me have the chance to sit in the middle of my would-be past with all that I would be leaving and say thank you to the shadows and scents, moments, just moments before I grab my bag and get out of the door for good.

I need to know that I’m certain and resolved. I need to know that I’m not coming back.

It’s one of those days again – When Change beckons

People & Relationships, The Self

Change happens slowly then suddenly. The truth is, we inevitably have to rip some veins and cut some ties loose to complete the process of change. Otherwise, there’s no chance of genuinely breaking free.

Change invites us to rise from our small mindedness and embrace wisdom, to trust in the process of life and how it goes from chaos to organization, from uncertainty to knowing.

Finally it teaches us how important these changes are in each of our own metamorphosis and self actualization.

Why I love the Yoga Tree pose

People & Relationships, The Self

It’s nice to have two legs. It’s nice to stand on two feet. Most probably, it’s better to have two legs and two feet instead of just one or maybe, let’s say, three.

It’s  important to have a strong support system. It’s true that we cannot live alone. It’s enriching to share our lives with others.

But growing also entails being able to stand alone, like standing on one foot.

Time will come that we would have to learn how to find our strength and balance in our own core.

Independence is necessary in establishing healthy relationships both towards oneself and others. It’s not always good – or even possible – to share everything with someone. A person can only share and take on so much- both the positive and the negative. Our relationships are alive, mutual and organic.

When I was younger, I used to feel compelled to share everything with my loved ones – my parents, close girl friends, my lover. I even thought it was healthy to do it at all times.

Yes, open communication is important to healthy relationships but not to the point that we’re stepping onto personal boundaries – both ours and those around us. I’ve come to realize that sharing too much could also lead to stunted personal and relationship growth.

I’ve become more private in celebrating my triumphs and grieving for my losses lately. This is not a sign of moving away from the people I love.

This is just my way of moving closer to my Higher, Wiser and more Powerful Self.

I need to do this to be more familiar with my own voice and to get better in trusting it. I need to learn how to trust my own wisdom and decisions, to shape my own opinions, to feel and express my own feelings without asking for external validation.

I must also learn how to give my relationships the space they need to breathe and thrive.

Our loved ones are not sponges. Our relationships are not dump sites.

Strength is both found and cultivated in openness and in silence, in complete sharing and independence. Both ways of relating are important in different situations.

I enjoy doing the yoga tree pose not really because of the challenge it brings but mostly because of the peace I get from being fully present in my own existence – knowing that I am enough as long as I stand from the core of my being.

Musings on embracing the Creative Life

Creative Living, People & Relationships, The Self, Women's Room

To be an artist is to create and recreate. To create and recreate is to be vulnerable. To be an artist is to be exposed, criticized, broken down, blown up in unimaginable proportions, taken out of context, diluted, wrapped in cheap plastic bags, vandalized or simply ignored and erased from memory.

As an artist, you would continuously find yourself caught up in same type of crossroads – Be authentic and please yourself OR bend over backwards just to please others.

Your feelings can range from a simple existential discomfort to soul-tearing agony. It basically depends on how daring you are in stepping up your game. The more you choose to embrace authenticity, the more you’ll get better at it, the less difficult feelings you’ll harbor in return.

To be an artist and a woman is another thing. Combining the two suddenly makes it more complex and intense. Suddenly, others (including fellow ladies) become more critical, too. Layers of standards and prejudices pile up all.

It’s not easy for the people around the artist and the woman as well. Sometimes, things disclosed and exposed can get way beyond their reality and understanding.

To love an artist and a woman needs a certain amount of self esteem, unconditional strength and love.You have to be adventurous enough to not only tolerate, but to enjoy and appreciate all the honesty, contractions, contradictions and ecstasy of living a life of sensitivity and self scrutiny.

Creation, exhibition, humiliation, resurrection – these are all important parts of the journey to self, universal knowing and unconditional love. Embrace the life of your own creation, suck in your temporary fears and march out in the open. It’s all meaningful. Believe that it’s all worth it. It is.

There is only the Path of feeling good

The Self

I believe there are two kinds of “feeling good”.

The first would be the kind that is enslaving. You feel good for a while but eventually you feel worse than before. It’s unconsciously digging your own grave. The second would be the kind that is liberating. You feel good while having/doing the thing that makes you feel good but eventually you feel so much better that you no longer need what initially made you feel good.

Going full on against unhealthy situations, things and habits that make me feel good has never been effective for me. I don’t think it’s effective for most people either. We all just want to feel good as often as we can! So I came up with this classification and it has proven to be very helpful for me in situations wherein I know I have to struggle with my own contradictions.

I can choose to feel good for a while or feel good for a longer time. Putting things in this perspective makes me look forward to choosing the one that I think would give me the most benefit for the longest possible time. It’s a good way to teach myself to choose peace, joy, growth and depth.


To Writing, my rebound Love

Creative Living, The Self


So I’m “kind of” back to you again. After months of intensive focus on painting and business, here I am, a wasted party girl with smudged make up creeping under your sheets at 5 am.

Yeah, I’m a bit heartbroken, maybe. But for the most part I’m just really tired and I don’t wanna go back to my cave and be confronted with the same worries for a while. I was so close to burning myself out, banging my head on the windshield. The Universe saved me with deus ex machina so I was able to stop myself before I totally lost control.

I love creating because it’s liberating. I love the release, the  playfulness and the focus. I love catching the essence of what I want to bring into life.

I love you, writing, because I simply love words and I love the process of stringing them together. It’s like sewing up little magical things to create a new universe of infinite sensations, meanings and possibilities.

You could say I’m a little lost now and I have to dig deep to feel my roots again. You’re the  best companion to do that.  Only you have the ability to pierce through the thick mud I got myself stuck in.

I don’t know how long this process would be. I hope it’s okay with you to accommodate me for a while. I just have to sort things out and poke over here and there in the meantime. I think I can promise you that I’d be silent most of the time.

I don’t have many tools with me to do this sorting besides my cheap tweezers and worn out beige thread and needle. Don’t worry much though, I’d only be needing so little. I was born a weed, a wildflower. I’m a natural survivor.

All I ask is your company during my morning coffee and the few hours before sunrise when I am about to go to sleep. I may be your rebound lover, but you are such a precious thing to me.