People · Relationships · Self

Reflections on leaving toxic situations

There is a saying that in order to be happy in life, we must let go of negativity. This includes “negative” or “toxic” people. What do we really mean when we say this?

I have walked away from many situations. I walked away from some because they no longer made me happy. I have changed and the situation no longer complemented who I had become. I wanted other things. I wanted a new environment. I wanted new kinds of challenges and new kinds of joys. I started thinking, feeling, speaking and behaving in new ways. I won’t call those situations “negative”, though. They’re a natural part of life.

On the other hand, I have also got out of situations because they were killing my spirit. I know that it’s a fact that we take control of our lives, that we decide how people and situations will affect us and that we can also choose how we respond to them.

But we can only take and endure so much. There is a limit to how much patience, understanding and strength we can squeeze out from ourselves at a given period of time. If the situation doesn’t improve, or if it gets worse, time will inevitably come that we will just have to cut ties and burn bridges to save what’s left of us.

Other people would never completely understand us because each of us feels differently and each of us has our own reasons for doing what we do.

But leaving these situations and disappointing certain people (read: making them hate me) will never be easy. That’s exactly how we know that we are serious about our decision to leave, because we are willing to endure the stress it brings.

Leaving negative situations doesn’t put an end on all kinds of stress. It brings a different kind of stress. But this stress will eventually be the end to all the stresses that gave birth to it.

I have burned bridges and until now I am not completely comfortable about it. But I guess I don’t have to. I have earned my pride in myself knowing that I can make decisive and difficult decisions if I need to.


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