There you are again, walking back and forth in your little attic bedroom, with cobwebs outside and inside your head.
You are watching every move of those around you again, trying to quantify their love for you by the littlest things they do and did not do.
Clearly, you act this way not because you don’t trust them but because you do not trust yourself enough to know that you are loved, that you can be loved enough that people can actually stay and never leave you.
Why don’t you sit still for a while, have a couple of deep breaths and imagine floating clouds above your head? The birds are singing outside your windows, why don’t you come out for a minute and play with them?
Do something you love, be with people you enjoy spending time with, nourish your body, be comforted by nature. Go out of your little attic room for a while and just welcome the sun! You will see that all you have been worrying about are just stubborn illusions in your head.