People · Relationships · Work

Learning to receive love for the first time

A few days ago, I thought I wanted to quit my job because my boss was horrible.

So I went on AWOL, bought a few bottles of fabric paint and painted during daytime (I don’t paint without the sunlight) for the 48 hours. On day two I got a call from my boss. I thought she’s gonna scold me and threaten me for leaving without notice. But what she did shook me to my core. She wanted to know what was going on with me. She wanted to understand me and she talked to me for an hour explaining her behavior to me. I couldn’t believe I was able to tell her how she made me feel. She took the effort to explain to me and make it clear that she didn’t want to hurt me and make me feel bad. She convinced the little fearful girl inside me to grow up and embrace my power. I felt that she sincerely cared about me.

I was crying the whole time! Not only because her words stung (because in many ways they’re true) but more so because I was not used to people making me stay. I would just usually leave and people would usually just let me go. I am not used to people asking me how I feel and taking the time to clarify how they don’t want me to feel hurt. She really made sure that I was able to understand everything she wanted me to know.

I am not used to receiving empowerment from anybody most especially when I need it the most.  Instead of getting crazily mad at me for being so unprofessional and immature, she wanted to help me. She knew I needed her help even thought I didn’t directly ask for it.

It takes a great amount of sensitivity, love and strength to actually help someone who is as stubborn as me. I am not just stubborn because I’m defensive but also because I’m ignorant about a lot of things…like love. I can give love but I am not very good at receiving it.

Now I understand why my Spirit Guide told me that the lesson I would have to learn from this experience is the meaning of unconditional love and how I am so blessed with an abundance of it.

I still get teary-eyed when I think about it because I’m not used to it. Knowing I am loved unconditionally still gives me goosebumps. But I am getting there. I am learning how to receive love for the first time…and my strong, empowering ex-boss broke the walls that I have built up.


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