What Painting has taught me about the evolution of Love

Creative Living, The Self

I started painting as a form of therapy. When I was battling with depression and OCD, painting turned to be the only thing which calmed my mind. Although I was eventually able to make money out of it when I decided to turn it into a business, I was still for the most part, painting according to my moods and emotions. That was a few years ago.

When I decided to paint again last month and seriously re-launch a personal business out of it, I observed that majority of the time I was still painting according to my emotions. Well, there was nothing wrong with that. Painting is simply therapeutic its magic. The problem comes in when you decide to take it seriously and really have concrete plans about it.

You cannot achieve anything concrete and long term by doing something only according to how you feel.

That’s when I realize that my perspective had to shift. I should not let myself be ruled by my moods. I had to lead my emotions. I had to create my own rules and work standards. I had to set clearly defined and reasonable goals. I had to impose a particular kind of discipline on myself in order to achieve those goals.

As a result, I came up with a list of principles such as:

1. First and foremost, I am child who wants to play. Painting should never ever feel like working at all. I must use painting as a liberating space to be myself, to experiment, learn and most of all,, have fun.

2. I am an artist, second, since painting requires certain kinds of skills.

3. I am lastly, an entrepreneur, for obvious reasons that I want to make money out of it.

This is the guide that I use for myself in order to find harmony and balance in maximizing this activity for me. I know these would continuously evolve as I explore and make mistakes along the way. It takes experience to find balance in anything we do, anyway.

Isn’t love like that as well? Love is not a fleeting feeling that is beyond our control, it is most of all an act of will.

We must strike the balance between letting things unfold on their own and doing everything we can to use its transformative powers for our own good and the good of all. We cannot just wait for things to happen, we must consciously direct the energy to where we want it to go.

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Why Painting?

Creative Living, Life path, The Self

I’ve read quite a lot of advice from different kinds of artists when it comes to pursuing your craft. Most of them would say do it because you ache for it, you want to do it so bad that you will suffer if you don’t do it. Being a passionate person myself, I believe in the importance of having passion in whatever we choose to do if we want to make a difference and create something worthwhile. But when it comes to pursuing what I feel is my soul’s purpose in this lifetime, I feel a different vibe with mine.

I didn’t dream of becoming a painter because I’ve always had been. When I was a kid, my greatest dreams were just these three: 1.) To not work a day of my life, 2) To paint and write and 3) To travel. Freedom has always been at the top of my values. It’s the most important thing for me in this lifetime.

I quit my job a few days ago and in a heartbeat decided I would paint again. I decided to spend the last penny I had saved to buy all the materials I needed to produce enough number of hand painted bags that I could sell in a month’s time. I am just a day away to finishing 20 bags. I have the other batch of 20 bags to finish but I don’t feel I have done anything at all or that I would still be doing that much.

That’s what painting does to me. It’s what painting is for me. Painting is not working. Painting is so easy and natural for me that I don’t have to worry about anything at all…and it’s never an exaggeration when I say that. You see when I paint, I get liberated from my mind. I don’t have to think when I paint. Everything flows naturally. I come up with designs spontaneously. I am not afraid to make mistakes and every time I do, I am always able to find ways on how to go about it.

I welcome all kinds of accidents when I paint because I know that it’s part of the process of creating really amazing work.

I don’t have to impress anyone, even myself, when I paint. I know my techniques and technical skills are not brilliant enough compared to so many artists out there.

But I always take pride in the originality of my images. They’re authentic. They come from the The Source through me.

I am enough when I paint. I am part of the vastness of everything when I paint. There is no “I” when I paint.

It’s not passion that drives me to paint. It’s freedom.

I am a soul, and I choose painting because I choose to be free.

To the nagging fear of Standing Up for oneself

People & Relationships, Women's Room

When we settle for less than what we deserve, when we stay in situations that no longer serve us or are outright unhealthy for us, we are telling the Universe that we are okay with this and that we are not open to receive the abundance and joy that She can offer.

When we don’t stand up for ourselves, it’s another way of  telling other people that we don’t know our worth and that they have power over us. They can freely use this power to patronize us, manipulate us and break us if they want to. We lose other people’s respect by bending over backwards just to please them. We lose respect for ourselves, too.

We are not letting the Universe know that we are kind and generous by always saying Yes. Instead, we are telling Her how insecure we are that we find it difficult to say No.

We are all created equal. The Universe lives in a constant state of balance and fairness. Nobody is expected to take more than she can carry. It’s no one’s obligation to liberate other people. We liberate ourselves.

We cannot get what we desire if we don’t have the courage to step on to the light and embrace our strength and greatness.

To those who find it difficult to Change

People & Relationships, The Self

Epiphanies usually come unexpectedly. Just this morning while I was playing with my dogs, a thought popped up in my head:

You can change anytime you want. You can actually change now at this very moment if you choose to. All you have to do is embrace change and BE that change.

It’s something I’ve been reading about and hearing about frequently. But I haven’t really grasped its meaning until this morning. The first thing that came into my mind was my image of being a silent, reserved person. Suddenly I realized that it’s not really ME. It’s just an image of me. I can change that image in an instant. If I choose to become more sociable, more personal, bubblier, by all means I have the right to do that. It’s not really a difficult thing to do and no one is stopping me but myself.

By letting go of who I think I am, I can be who I want to be.

In short, I can change in a heartbeat. I don’t need any grand preparation to do it. I can just be the change I want to see in myself.

If I want to change my life, if I want to be surrounded with the kinds of people that are good for my well-being, I must transform myself. If I can let go of people and situations that no longer serve me, I must also let go of self images and habits that no longer serve me.

Change, after all is not really a complicated matter. It’s within our grasp. The fact is, it’s actually in front of our faces all the time. We just have to grab it and own it. At the end of it all, it still boils down to practicing our free will. It’s always about taking charge of our lives and making decisive choices.

We can’t take control of our lives and expect it will play out according to what we want if keep on handing out our power outside of ourselves.

 

We are never helpless. We always have the resources that we need to live the life we want.