Self · Women

To my little girl Self

I did something really brave today. Something I did not do out of fear or pride or selfishness but out of simple self awareness and an honest heart.

I now understand what the “Ace of Cups” was telling me. Tara, my first tarot deck set, as I call her, kept on telling me to “Go, Girl! Fight for the truth inside your heart! You have made a stand. Persevere!”. First, I thought it was all about asserting what you want and deserved because that’s how you stand for your self worth. Now I know that standing for your worth also means fighting for what your heart shouts for.

Fighting for your self worth also means liberating yourself. Self liberation also means letting yourself value what your heart values…and never, ever be ashamed of it whatever it may be.

We will never know how things will actually turn out. But we could always decide to either follow our heart and do things our way or copy what others are doing in their personal situations. Maybe I am more intense than others. My family and friends would always tell me to just keep still, let go, be quiet and just surrender. I know very well how to do those things. I need not be reminded of them. But I believe in expression, in struggle, in open and honest communication, in being firm, in standing your ground, in demanding for explanation, clarity and respect. I don’t want to play it safe. I don’t want to stand at the back of my life, sitting stupidly in my comfort zone. I want to go to the edge, push the limits and fly. I expect the same from the people in my life as well. I won’t apologize.

I may overwhelm and piss off many people, but I would do things based on who I really am, who I want to be and how I want my life to be. I am not gonna settle for mediocrity in all aspects, including most especially my relationships.

I only have one life to live and I owe it to My Creator to live it as authentic as I can.

I did something really brave today. I just told someone how crazy I was for him and how strong I was as well to be that crazy (well, it’s through a long letter but basically that sentence sums it up). Actually, I didn’t really say I was strong, I didn’t have to. My guts and strength were everywhere.

I have really proven I can love this intensely because I am strong enough for this.

I can stand the earthquake ground that is my heart. My love cannot destroy me.


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